Tag: Time

Make Time Together

June 24, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Now that my wife is in medical school we have really grown to appreciate the time that we have together. With free time being limited, we have to make choices on what we want to do together in advance. Now, not everything that we decide to do together is super extravagant, or extremely time consuming, but it doesn’t need to be. We have found that it is fun to do bigger things together, but we get more quality time together when we are laid back.

There are a lot of reasons that we don’t get to spend as much time with each other as we would like. We have found that most of the reasons we do not get to spend time together are good reasons. We have things going on in our lives and can’t always put them on hold. I have put together a list of some reasons, and whether or not I think they are legitimate reasons for not making time together. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them eat up time.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because I have to:

Work at my job. This is a good thing. It is good to have time away from each other because it helps us find ourselves. I work from 6:30-5pm on weekdays so that we have income, which is kind of important.

Mow the lawn. When living in a house with a yard this is inevitable. At some point the grass will have to be cut, the question is by who. I could pay someone to come to my house and mow my yard (which takes about 15-20 minutes) or I can just do it myself.

Work on house projects. I do a fairly significant amount of work on our house to maintain it and increase the functionality and appearance. Some of the work is a requirement, but some of it is additional tasks that I have chosen to do. Lately, I have been remodeling our basement to bring it a little bit more up to date. This is not a requirement. There was nothing in the basement of our house that was damaging or going to cause major problems.

Watch tv and play on my phone. This is something that I think is the least beneficial to our relationship. That being said, watching tv and playing on my phone has a time and place. There are times where my wife is busy with school, and I have completed everything else on my to-do list.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because my wife has to:

Study for class. This is a legitimate reason not to spend time together. This is the reason we moved and are doing what we do. She needs time to study without me needing to bother her.

Attending class or other learning centers. This is another big reason we don’t get to spend time together. I am not upset about either of these reasons because this is why we are here. I want her to excel as much as she can, and that can only be done by attending school and doing her best.

There are some different chores or tasks that we try to work on together that gives us more time. Some of them are washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. Not only do we get to spend time doing these, they go faster. When we help each other it opens up both of ours time so that we can do more together.

Biggest tip for the reader.

If your spouse is busy, be busy too. If your spouse is working and has a time that they will be done. Try to get your work done at the same time. Don’t push off working on projects, chores, or work. If you can get everything done while they are working, you will have a nice window to spend time together. It’s not super fun to have one person done with what they are working on while the other person still have an hour of work to complete because they were watching tv. I have experienced this (and still do).

Learn Basic Car Maintenance

April 26, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I enjoy finding ways to save money and learn new skills. Having enough money to pay for certain things while a spouse is in medical school can be difficult. After all, the easiest way to have more money, is not to spend it. I will outline some things that make a positive impact for me in our budget.

Do basic auto maintenance yourself or find a friend that can. I perform nearly all of my own maintenance on my cars, and for any of my medical school friends. From my experience, a normal shop fee is anywhere from $85-$125 per hour. At this rate, most simple tasks are worth the small amount of time learning how to do them. The tool investment is also small, and pays for itself quickly due to the cost of a professional shop. Some simple tasks are changing your battery, changing oil, checking all of your fluids, replacing brakes, and replacing spark plugs. Oil changes usually include an oil check, coolant, power steering, and washer fluid. Having brakes replaced, spark plugs, or any work not included in an oil change will be put on an hourly rate. Instead of paying a shop to replace your battery, take it upon yourself to go to a store that sells auto parts and make the battery purchase yourself. The shop will be buying a similar (or the same) battery and marking it up. In addition to that, most of the large chain stores will replace your battery for you at no charge. This is dependent on your make and model, but most vehicles are simple to replace.

How I justify doing the work myself. If you’ve ever taken a car to a shop you will know that it is extremely expensive. The billing is based on the “book” time for completion of the task. So if the job will take 2 hrs of shop time, the bill could be anywhere from $170-$250 for the work (excluding parts). I look at this number and see that if this is work I can manage, I could save this money. Not only could I save money, but with the approximate cost between $170-$250, I could purchase the tools for the job. This sets me up for future work or if I know somebody that needs help with similar maintenance. As an example, most vehicles with gasoline engines have spark plugs that are relatively easy to replace. A shop will charge about 1 hr for most vehicles, resulting in a cost of $85-$125 without parts. So, a car owner could spend $85-$125 on the tools (and their time) to complete the job themselves and it would cost the same.

Why I use full synthetic engine oil. Saving money on small maintenance tasks adds up. I drive about 22,000 miles/year. I use full synthetic oil and run it for about 12,000 miles between oil changes. Running full synthetic costs about 25% of conventional oil, and I have had a lot of success with it. An oil change usually costs me about $36 for 12,000 miles, while conventional would cost me about $32 for 3,000 miles. From information, I show that for 12,000 miles of conventional, it would cost about $128. This is almost 4 times the cost of full synthetic oil for the same distance. I understand that full synthetic engine oil is not the beat choice for every vehicle (especially brand new vehicles) but it works well for me. Having a shop change your oil for you can still save a lot of money. If you’re car is not made to handle full synthetic oil, don’t use it. Look in the manual or contact the manufacturer to find out if it’s okay to use.

My recent work. I was getting some odd feelings in the steering when driving and when I checked out my car I had quite a few components that needed to be replaced. I prices out parts from some aftermarket vendors and ordered them to my house. I had to replace a lot of the steering, bearings, and suspension components, which cost me about $500 in parts. The approximate labor cost for a shop to replace these parts would have been about $750-$1,250. So, looking at that kind of price, I chose to purchase a few tools for myself and completed the work at my house. This kind of work is not within everyone’s abilities, but it is within mine.

“Renting” Tools. If you don’t want to purchase any tools, there are auto parts stores that sell parts, and rent tools. One of the greatest things about their tool rental is that it is “free.” When renting tools the store will charge you the cost of the tool, which means that you have purchased it. After you are done with the work, they allow you to return the tool in good working condition and refund you all of the money. As long as you don’t want to keep the tools for yourself, just return them for a full refund.

Tips for the reader.

Do what you feel comfortable doing. If you don’t feel comfortable doing work on your car, don’t. It’s better to have someone help you, or pay someone if you feel uncomfortable. I do not condone performing work outside your abilities or comfort zone, it can be dangerous.

Learn how to tell when you have a problem. If you don’t want to do your own work, try to get good at finding upcoming problems before they become big problems.

Learn online. I find it best to look up how other people are doing the work. This can make it a lot easier and get an idea on how long it will take and how much it will cost.

Purchase parts for the shop. If you are not going to do the work yourself, buy the parts and take them to the shop. This makes it so that you get the parts you want, and there are less overhead costs. The shop will still charge the same on an hourly basis, and you will have more money in your pocket. Make sure to do research on exactly which parts you need and they will fit before ordering.

“Let me see if I have time.”

March 15, 2020 / Jacob Brown

This is one of the most common phrases that I have heard from med students. Talking with my wife’s classmates, I hear this in nearly every conversation. The main focus for medical students is studying, and time is the biggest constraint. School is their full time job, and they are expected (by the school) to not only succeed, but excel. Medical school is extremely fast paced and time consuming, which makes breaks very precious.

A lot of my wife’s classmates take breaks very seriously. By seriously I mean when they get any opportunity, they travel. They tend to take large trips, depending on the allotted time. These can be fairly expensive trips, especially when they travel to Europe, South America, and Florida on student loans. In my opinion, it is more important to find a hobby and do small trips regularly. Taking large extravagant trips is fun, but the relaxation and enjoyment needs to be distributed. It is good to be able to spread out the relaxation, and not be looking forward to trips just once every 8-10 weeks.

My wife tries to do something fun or relaxing every day, and I think it makes a difference in her mental health. I can usually tell when she needs to take a break. During summer we try to ride bikes daily for 30-60 minutes. It’s not quite as fun when its 95 degrees outside, but it serves its purpose as exercise and time together. This is time where she can talk to me about school or we can talk about anything outside of school. Usually we ride in Metro Parks because we like the nature scenery. We are from rural Indiana, so it makes us feel a little bit closer to home.

Something else that we do that would be considered a “break” is going to the store together. She takes a little time out of her schedule so that we can go to the store and buy groceries. This is also very helpful to me because she gets what she wants to eat, and I don’t have to guess. I try to keep the fridge stocked with food that is easy for her to prepare because she doesn’t have a lot of downtime while she is studying.

My wife has made the goal to be done with school work at about 9 pm every night. Occasionally she is working at 10 pm, but that is uncommon. Having a set end time allows her to spend about 1 hour of her night doing whatever she wants. Her time is a lot tighter now than it was earlier in medical school. She is currently in Dedicated, the window of time set aside specifically for medical students to study for Step 1. This is a very important exam that causes a lot of stress as it is the exam that dictates their entire career (I will talk more on this in another post).

Some final thoughts for the reader:

Find something that you can do daily. If you can find a hobby or relaxing activity you can do daily, you will feel better than trying to hold the stress waiting until your next big break.

Set a schedule, and stick to it. This will make a huge difference in how much time you have to spend with others. Make time for things you love outside of medicine.

Take day trips when possible. Try not to just take trips or do something fun when you have a long break. Breaks between classes or weekends offer a good opportunity for relaxation. This makes it possible to do it more often, and can keep your stress level lower.