Tag: Save Money

The Brazen Rediscovery of the Bottomless Wallet

December 23, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I’m sure that others can relate when I say that the holiday season causes the urge to give (and spend money). People want to give their time, money and goods to help others so that we can all have a wonderful holiday season. Lots of people like to give, but it can be difficult depending on their financial situation.

I have found that “my heart is bigger than my wallet“ on many occasions. There are people in my life that I want to give to, but I can’t afford to do so on the intended level. That being said, it doesn’t stop me from giving what I can to those around me in my life.

The Bottomless Wallet

The “bottomless wallet” has the power of mind control. It calls to the owner, taunting them to open it. Soon after being coaxed, they are put in a trance that blinds them from sound thinking and judgement. The bottomless wallet has the power to take us down before realizing what we have done.

This is obviously a bit of humor, but it is how it feels sometimes. When I get out my wallet, there are times that I feel I should make a purchase. Sometimes I lose sight of exactly what I should be buying for, and the kind of items that I am purchasing. We have lots of influences in our lives swaying us to buy products and it can be hard to keep our cards and cash in our pocket.

Every year around the holidays the amount of purchases seems to climb. I tend to make some larger purchases while I hope to get a good deal. I rediscover the influence that the items for sale have on my life. It’s not something that we tend to notice, but we get attached to a certain lifestyle or particular item in our life.

A Christmas Budget Struggle

Every year I set a budget and make the attempt to stick to it for gifts. Since I started making the goal for myself, about 6 years, I have not once kept myself from overspending. There are just too many things for sale during the holiday season that seem to catch my eye. There are gifts available for my wife, our parents (my wife’s and mine) and my siblings. It can be hard not to buy things, especially when the items seem to be the “perfect gift”.

Though my bank account has a limit, my wallet seems to be bottomless. When making purchases I can just swipe and swipe and swipe without any obstacles in my way. This is especially relevant when the expenditures are charged to a credit card, instead of my debit card. I’m sure that you have had some of the same situations in your life. It can be hard not to spend money, especially when we can see that our bank account has a balance.

This is exactly what is intended for consumers and it can be hard not to fall into the trap. Items go “on sale” bringing people into stores giving them the sense that they are getting a deal on goods. It can be difficult to hold back from spending, but it can be the difference between hitting your budget or overspending. With the growing amount of online retailing in the United States, I have found it easier to stick to a budget. Once I get my little grubby paws on something tangible, it can be much harder to put it back on the shelf.

The Broken Budget

In order to hit my set goal for spending I have often asked myself a few questions:

Is my budget too small?
Should my budget be larger?
Do I need more self control?

For the most part I lean toward having a lack of self control. It is really hard to get gifts for our families and friends without going over budget. Even when setting a dollar limit, it’s hard to choose how much to spend the money. It doesn’t matter what I set my limit to be, I will usually go over. I’m sure that others are in the same boat, and it can be frustrating from the standpoint of our personal finances.

It’s not that I don’t think that the recipients of my gifts deserve less, but there are times where I can’t afford the gift that might be “perfect” for them. This is something that I have to accept when considering how much to spend on others and overall during the holiday season. I have not figured out exactly how much to spend during the holidays and probably won’t find a perfect number.

I have found that being generous with others shouldn’t (or can’t) be measured. I don’t think that we can look at two people and measure how generous they are and pick who is a better person. The amount of money that we spend during the holidays in not indicative of how much we love those around us. There is much more to our relationships with others than a price tag. We may not have to spend a lot on those around us, but I think there are times that warrant larger transactions. I tend to lean toward the idea of larger transactions being necessary to help someone fulfill their needs, not wants.

Final Thought

The main focus of this post is to be proactive and generous with others. We should try to put others before ourselves, though it is a hard task. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t care for ourselves (that is the wrong idea) but we aim our sights on helping others first. I have failed many times, and often, at putting others before myself. Trying again each year with a consistent record of falling short. Maintaining outward focus is hard, especially when we have wants of our own.

The Toppling of Pecuniary Unity

September 2, 2020 / Jacob Brown

If you are married or are looking to get married, you might be wondering how to avoid conflict in your relationship. I would venture to guess that most people do not enjoy arguing with or upsetting their spouse. We like to get along and work together to accomplish goals, not tear each other down. One way to avoid having large confrontations or arguments is to get ahead of them. You can do this by talking through topics that could and will cause arguments in the future, and getting on the same page together.

There are a lot of reasons that couples fight, but there are a couple major ones that seem to resurface if not resolved. One of those main topics is money. Money is an odd thing here in the United States because we operate with Fiat Currency system. This means that our currency has no backing, no real value. We used to operate on different standards, some of which are silver and gold. The metals have value and are useful, but we do not back our money this way anymore. Oddly enough, the reason that a $1 bill is worth $1 is because we choose to believe that this is the case.

To further grasp this idea, I like to imagine a broken future state of our country. The economy has crashed, stores have closed, and people are left on their own. Someone approaches me and asks me if I have any food that I could trade for one of the goods they have obtained. I have to protect and feed my family, so I choose to trade them a chicken for a package of seeds. The seeds have value to me because I can plant them and wait for harvest, gathering more food and seeds in the process. This will keep us alive and my family healthy. But what if I would have traded my chicken for a stack of $100 bills? I could probably use them for starting a fire a couple times, but they are not of any great value to me for my survival.

So why are we attached to money? I think one major reason that we are attached to money is due to the fact that we as humans like stuff. We like to have nice cars, houses, clothes, and electronics. We like to have nice watches and big TVs that we can show off to our friends. Money is the gateway to these things. Yes it is true that we need money to survive in today’s society, but it shouldn’t be everything that we are working toward. If our life is centered around things like money, it can cause issues that spread to other parts of our lives. What can we do in our marriage to avoid conflicts pertaining to money?

Open Joint Accounts

I believe that as married people we are to become one, and share everything with each other. I do not condone having separate bank accounts in a marriage. The main reason I do not like the idea of separate accounts for spouses is it creates secrecy within the relationship. Just like when we were kids we thought “secrets don’t make friends, but friends make secrets” was true, it is relevant today. Secrets and keeping information hidden that is relevant to the spouse can drive a wedge between you. It is also important to note that there is never a state of perfect equality in the world, and that is also true for spouse financials. One spouse will always make, spend, save, invest, or give more money than the other.

I did a fair amount of reading online to see other perspectives on this subject. Oddly enough, there are not a lot of writers out there supporting joint accounts. I went to my search engine and looked for “Should my spouse and I have a joint bank account?” and was surprised to see the top recommendations to read. The first three results talk about how to merge accounts, then the results turn into why we should not have joint accounts and the question of which is better, joint or individual? I will leave it to you to read, but the information given has one common theme. It is centered around “me” and most of the reasons lead to divorce. A popular reason to have individual accounts is, “when you get divorced, it is much more complicated.” I would hope that by choosing to get married you are not looking at it with anticipation of an upcoming divorce. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that needs your full commitment to function and thrive.

I understand that one spouse may be working providing income and the other may not, as in my case. A couple may be in a situation where both are working providing income at the same or differing rates. Having separate accounts in any fashion raises questions to me. Why is the one more entitled to money than the other? Why would the non-working spouse need a separate account or an allowance from the working spouse? If we are to be “one” with each other, how can that be if we are keeping things separate? The answer is that we can’t. We can’t be together and fully trust in each other if we have separation.

If it deals with money, make sure that both spouses have direct access. Some major accounts that we have are 1 checking account, 2 savings accounts, a credit card, and an investment account. Both of us have access and can see everything that is going on at all times. We also use a money management app that allows both of us to see our student loans and any other debt.

On a checking account or credit card account, make sure that both spouses have a card, and communicate what they are going to purchase. This may seem redundant or burdensome to continue to talk to your spouse every time you to make a purchase, but it is important in being transparent with your spouse. What happens if one spouse has their pay going into their account, and not a joint account? If the other spouse does not have access, the spouse depositing money is not really sharing. They are providing money to their spouse or family as a ration, or when they want to. It is usually an indication in a marriage that there is a lack of trust between spouses.

Are you worried that your spouse will overspend? I think that this is a common situation between spouses that pushes them to want individual accounts. They feel that their spouse does not have the self control or good money management skills, and would prefer that they don’t take their money. This is an issue that needs to get worked out another way as it can’t be solved by creating a barrier in your relationship.

We can overturn the argument for having separate account very easily by adding a baby to the situation. Who will buy diapers? Who will buy food? The baby is technically a 50-50 split between mother and father, so are you going to track expenses and make sure each parent spends exactly 50% of the cost to provide for their child? What if one spouse isn’t working? Are you going to have each parent pay into their child based off income? It seems to me that this is nearly impossible to do without arguing or causing conflict. There is no way we can draw the line equally, which leaves us to put it together and work with each other.

Communicate Purchases

Something that we enjoy doing is letting each other know when we are going to spend money. This is not really a situation where we are asking for permission as much as relaying information. My wife is in school and I work. So I am the only source of income right now. That being said, I don’t require my wife to ask for money or need permission to spend it. We choose to ask each other if we can make larger purchases, over $20, and inform each other when we are going to have smaller purchases. It is a situation where we work together to make sure that we stay on budget, and can continue to do fun things together. Having a joint account that our spouse can see helps to stay responsible. We are working for common goals, and are united in our trials and times of celebration.

Some examples of when we just inform each other (while staying within our budget) would be when she wants to stop and get coffee. It’s a purchase that is $5 tops, but keeping each other in the loop helps us to budget. When I want to make larger purchases, like $100 on hunting equipment, I ask her if that is okay so that we are on the same page. If the purchases are really big, like $1,000, we take the time to sit down and discuss why we want to make the purchase and how it will be beneficial to us.

Budget Together

I find it best to work together to figure out how much money should be spent on different categories. Some major categories are rent/mortgage, utilities, food, insurance, debt, and extra expenditures. All of these have variable costs, and we can pick how much we would like to spend. Do we want to live in a smaller house? Bigger house? Apartment? Maybe we want to have nicer food? Cheaper food? Or maybe we want to take trips every month and put it down as extra expenditures. Everything has a price, and we can choose how much we want to pay (to an extent) and set ourselves up with different products. I urge you to sit down with your spouse and dig through financials before spending. An even better plan is sitting down with your fiancé and hashing this out before getting married. There are a lot of things out there that cost money, and it can be difficult to figure out what we should purchase. Not only do you have the benefit of making a budget together, this will give you an opportunity to learn more about your significant other. We tend to buy things that we think are important.

Disclose Your Debts

One important thing to me when people are getting married is that they are transparent about all finances. If you have debt, just like with money in our account, you need to make sure your soon-to-be spouse is aware. It would be quite a surprise to get married, then find out that your spouse has $40,000 in debt that they did not tell you about. This can cause a lot of stress in your relationship, and being transparent about debts can save a lot of headache and build trust. You are married to this person, and they need to be in your life more now than when you were dating. Having a spouse in medical school, I have become very familiar with loans and debt. Taking these loans upon myself in addition to her is a commitment that I made to my wife when we got married, and having this debt is OURS, not just hers.

Our experiences

My wife and I got married in college. She went to school for free, and I took out loans. Getting married during college means you are “rich”, so we had that going for us. We have strived to be transparent with each other about what we spend and our debts and have kept our arguments to a minimum so far. We have only been married for a little over 4 years, but our financial situation has changed quite a bit from college. We’ve adjusted to these changes by changing our budget and discussing our new financial goals. There is no way to completely avoid conflict, no matter how well you are being transparent.

We live in a world that is increasing promoting separation of property between spouses. Over half of the marriages in the United States consist of separate bank accounts, and the divorce rate is about 50% across the board. Are they correlated? Maybe. It’s hard to tell, but we are being influenced to keep our lives separate and be selfish over our property. It is crucial to me that each spouse works for the other person, and not for themselves. That doesn’t mean that they never get to do anything for themselves, but they should be conscious of what they do or buy.

I urge you to work for a common goal and do your best. Keep communication open and trust each other. Build the kind of relationship that will allow you to share and not worry about your spouse. Working together will make your life better and help you create a better life in marriage.

The Collegiate Marriage Gain

August 19, 2020 / Jacob Brown

There are a lot of positive aspects and advantages to getting married. My wife and I got married while earning our undergraduate degrees. I know that a lot of people date through college and waited until afterward because they don’t feel they were ready. There is nothing wrong with waiting until after you graduate from college, but I would like to explain how we went about getting married during college. Getting married while in school was a good move for us, and it might be for you as well.

It may seem a little bit scary to get married while in school, and I totally understand. There were a lot of factors that we considered before deciding to get married while in school. After we gathered information online and from our families, we decided that it would be better to get married while in school, instead of waiting until after we graduated.

Following are some of our main concerns that we had while we were trying to get married during college. There may be more, but these are some big ones that I am confident will resonate with others.

Can we afford to rent an apartment? Eat? Gas? Insurance? Phones? We decided to make a spreadsheet of all of our future expenses. Rent, utilities, gas, insurance, food, and extra expenses were some of our main categories. We crunched all of the numbers and found an approximate amount of money that we would have to make during the summer in order to live. We were able to live in an apartment owned by my parents for free, the rent cost to us was providing the upkeep for the property. My wife’s parents offered to pay for our phones, which was a huge help is getting us started. Her parents also offered to pay for her gas, which also helped a lot. We tried to be fairly strict on our food budget so that we would have extra money to do fun activities together. My wife took the initiative to work at the school as a lab assistant to bring in extra money. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to boost our bank account and made it possible for us to partake in fun activities together.

Are her parents prepared to pay for the wedding? This seems to be a huge deal for the bride’s parents (if they are paying for it). Weddings can be very costly, but that all depends on how the event has been planned. Is it low budget? Is it very extravagant? Is it somewhere in the middle? Getting married can be as low cost or as expensive as we want it to be. We worked with my wife’s parents to find out what they wanted and could pay and went from there. Not everyone’s parents have the ability to pay for something like this if they are also paying for their child’s school bills. It could be another big expense to add on at a hard time.

Will we have somewhere to live together? Like I said above, my parents were able to let us live in a property that they owned. Not everyone will be able to have this blessing, but some do. Some people are able to live at their parent’s house and go to school if they live close enough. If you are unable to have this opportunity, I urge you to find housing that is at the bottom of your budget, just inside the limit of feeling safe where you live. It doesn’t have to be a large place or have lots of amenities. You won’t live there very long, and will enjoy the money that you save. I know a couple that we went to college with that lived at the husband’s parent’s house. The parents were out of town a lot, so they had the house completely to themselves most of the year.

How much do we need to make during the summer? Overall, this is one of the biggest considerations for people in college. The work during the summer provides all or nearly all of the income for the person while they are in college. We worked at our own jobs during the summer then had to make it work for the most part. It is hard to have a good paying summer job when you are a seasonal worker. We took this amount of money and used it to help us budget for the school year. From what I remember, we had about $6,000 from summer work to stretch across 9 months so that we could make it through the school year. This isn’t a lot of money, so budgeting is crucial.

Can we get better financial aid when we get married? For those that don’t know, financial aid is offered to college students. The federal and state financial aid is used to help those whose families are under a certain threshold of income so that they can go to college. From our experience (same rules are set today) we were able to get more aid after we were married than before. This is due to the fact that when you get married YOU are the head of household, not a dependent. When you fill out everything and show that your household makes very little money, you can get full assistance. When we got married we missed the cutoff for state aid, but were able to receive the federal aid. This resulted in only paying about $5,000 for the school year. Then, the following year after we made the cutoff for federal and state we were able to get paid to go to school. We were able to use that money for cost of living and save our money from working during the summer.

Will we keep our school scholarships? I’m sure there are scholarships that you are not able to keep when you are married. My wife and I did not have those types of scholarships. My wife won a scholarship through the presidential scholarship competition at the college we attended. This money paid for all of her schooling the last 2 school years after we got married. I had very little loans my junior year, and none my senior year.

Can we keep our friend groups after marriage? From my experience, you should be able to keep all of your friends after you get married. There are limitations, but this is a general rule. I also found that it is good to hang out with your friends and have time with them. It is good to be yourself and have fun with friends or alone, and not only with your spouse.

Do our families approve of the decision? How can we explain our decision to them so they understand we can make it? We didn’t have to convince our parents in my opinion. We did do a lot to demonstrate how we would make it and how we had planned out our budgeting. Having enough money is hard, but it can be done. I would suggest putting together a budget with expenses that shows an approximate income and living expenses for the entire year. After all, you will still need some sort of living space when school is out of session.

If you are looking at getting married while in college, you may be thinking of the same questions we did. We spent well over a year figuring out everything for after we got married, we started before we were engaged. That being said, not everyone has the same concerns or needs as much time to make decisions as we did. If you want to get married, you can do it.

I am not a fan of long engagements, and believe that when we know we want to get married, we should do it as soon as possible. This is partly why we got married while in college, we are also “high school sweethearts.” Our engagement was about 9 months, which was plenty long for the wedding planning. Most of the wedding planning was done during the school year. Take time to think about what you will gain by getting married in college. It is a challenge at times, but well worth it in my opinion.

How do I budget when I have no income?

July 15, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Working during school may not be an option, which leaves college students without income as they invest into their lives through higher education. Nearly all college students have money coming to them in some form, whether that be their money from summer work, deposits from another person, or loans. The source of that income could be from a job, loans (usable money but not technically income), or gifted to them by family. When I state income, I am mainly speaking about money coming in from the student working or from their spouse/significant other. Loan money deposited into a student’s bank account is similar to income (because it can be spent), but is not taxable.

Having enough money was an issue for me when I was in undergrad, and it is an issue among nearly all college students. It is difficult to figure out how much to spend on categories like transportation, housing, food, and extra activities when there is no payday in sight. It is more crucial to budget at this time. An overspent month can lead to a shortage on the next, with nothing to make up the difference.

My experience.

When I was in undergrad I tried a few different ways to balance my money. The first mistake I made was take all of the money in my account and divide it evenly across the school year. This seemed like a good idea at the time.

This setup allowed me to pace myself and know exactly how much time I had left before I ran out of money. Unfortunately, when the budget is just distributed it is hard to stay under, or considerably under. I started going to the maximum amount for each week or a little bit over, and before I knew it I was out of money. I completed my freshman year of college with $25 in my account which was just enough to fill the tank on my truck to drive home to my parent’s house. This was not my greatest idea, and I changed it for the following school year.

I started the school year with about $3,000. With this money, I had to pay some of my schooling out of pocket which left me with less money right off the bat. From what I remember, I only had about $60-$80 per week to spend on groceries, gas, and other activities. This is not a lot of money, and it was supposed to last 9 months. I did not have a lot of money to do things like go out to eat, do activities with friends, or have extravagant meals. I spent about $30 per week on groceries, which was enough. The remaining money was used on gas and “necessities.” AKA stuff I didn’t need to buy but did anyway.

I owned my vehicle and my parents paid for my insurance. Which was one thing that helped me to save some money. I also did all of my own maintenance, which allowed me to save money on the vehicle purchase. I did not have to purchase an expensive or newer vehicle.

There are probably 1,000 ways to arrange your budget to best suit you. It can be hard at times to budget because we like nice things or things that aren’t in need of TLC. Sometimes it is crucial to step back and look at what we have and decide what is most important and what can go away. Here are some guidelines of what I recommend to student living off of loans.

Find housing that is the bare minimum, but is comfortable. If you are going to pay for housing on loans, keep the cost down. Federal Graduate Loans run at about 7% interest. So imagine paying around normal sales tax on your loans while they accrue interest. I’m not saying that you should live in an apartment or house that is in a terrible location for your commute or is dangerous for your health. Find something cheap and reasonable to accommodate your needs.

Don’t lease or buy a vehicle on your loans. I have a view on loans that may differ from you. I do not think that we should ever take out loans when there is no return on our investment, but especially on vehicles due to their loss in value. They depreciate quickly, which means that the buyer loses their money quickly. Vehicles are not an investment, it is a tool that loses value over time. A large portion of graduate loans can be allocated to “cost of living.” That being said, the amount taken out should be kept to a minimum. Last school year my wife could have taken nearly $60,000 over the tuition cost for living. To me, that is absolutely insane! I have listed some “options” for how I would handle needing a vehicle. There are probably more options, but these are ones that came to my mind.

Option #1. If you HAVE to purchase a vehicle, take the time to research vehicles and make a decision for a low cost reliable vehicle. As a doctor, or soon to be, you don’t have the option of being late to work. Find a reliable vehicle at a low price (as low as you can stand) and pay for it in full. Don’t use your education loans to pay for car loans or leases.

Option #2. If you have any money that is not from loans, or parents that are willing to help, definitely go that route. I would avoid using loans on vehicles at all costs, but if you have to, make it go a long way with something very reliable.

Option #3. If you have a family member that will let you borrow a car for a few years, do it. It is probably the only option that can get you around town for nearly free. You may have to pay for insurance and fuel, but you would be paying for that anyway with a vehicle you purchase.

Budget to a minimum on food. I would think that in most areas of the United States a person could spend under $100 per week on food for themselves. It is definitely easier here in the Midwest, but may be a stretch on the East or West Coast. Learn how to prep your own food. You can eat healthier, and have food ready for you at home at any time. If you can avoid going out, which might be the most expensive way to eat, your money will go further. If you want more information on food budgeting, visit my other post on Eat Steak, Not Fast Food where I do a short discussion on saving money on food.

The 3 things above are the most important from my perspective. There are other expenditures like cell phones, computers, vacations, holidays, and others that are variable costs. All of them influence our spending, and some of them are necessities, but they tend to be cheaper than the 3 points listed in the previous sections.

Notes for the reader.

Find the amount you are willing to pay back. In the end it’s all a personal choice. Find the amount you are willing to pay back in the future. Use an online student loan calculator to figure out how much your monthly payments will be based off your interest rate and loan term. Though doctors make a good salary, consider the debt load. As an example, if a student borrows at 7% interest and has $250,000 (including accrued interest) at the end of the 4 years of Medical School, they will have a monthly payment of $1,767 for 25 years. The interest paid back is about $280,000 with a total repayment of $530,000, over double what has been borrowed.

Borrow to live, not to “live.” Calculating how much to borrow is purely based off what you need to live. It will vary from student to student but should be similar between them. Keeping the total amount down by avoiding costly ventures like extra electronics, large vacations, or overspending in other categories will benefit you in the future. Going on vacations and having nice things is fun, but the benefits should be weighed against what will need to be repaid.

Keep purchases on nonessentials to a minimum. It’s fun and tempting to go on vacation or buy new toys. That being said, I don’t think that we should not do either if we have the financial capacity. I have found it possible to go on mini vacations or purchase fun items without spending a lot. My wife and I have taken day trips to places which are very cheap. We have purchased items for our enjoyment that do not require additional money to be put into them. When it is time to move after medical school, unless the stuff is sold or thrown out, it will have to go with us.

Early Mornings

July 8, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife just started her third year of medical school. For those that don’t know, third year requires students to partake in activities alongside interns and attendings. The learning takes place in their (the doctors’) work environment on their schedule. This period of the students’ learning allows them to see how hospitals and clinics operate. They get to learn different procedures and techniques related to the many sectors of the medical field. It is the time when the traditional classroom learning environment diminishes and they begin transitioning into “hands on” training.

Our basic schedule is outlined below. It’s nothing exciting, but it is good insight in what is to come for those going into third year. My wife does a lot of different things at the hospital. Some of the things she does include rounding, scrubbing in on surgery, performing procedures, and others. I will definitely be writing another post that goes more depth on what she is doing, and how to best be prepared.

Starting the day.

My wife is currently working in surgery. Due to surgeries being scheduled nearly all day in hospitals, she is working longer hours than I am. My day typically involves me getting up at 5:15 am, but her day requires 4:30 am. Due to the fact that she begins earlier than I do, I get up with her to keep her company and help her get ready. She has to leave by 5:10 am to head to the hospital to avoid being late. She doesn’t have to be ready until about 6:00 am, but it takes a while to get ready with all of the time spent parking and prepping for the day. While she gets ready in the morning I take the initiative to make her lunch. I usually pack some items for making sandwiches, salads, or other items that we have made recently.

Lately I’ve been including salad with mozzarella, tomato, dressing, and chicken breast. Other items included are croutons, apple slices, and a bottle of water.

Lunch time.

My wife does not have a regular lunch schedule. Most of the time she has lunch randomly or not at all. The time allotted is typically when it is convenient in her schedule. I pack snacks bars for her for in case she has time to eat them. It is a lot easier to grab a snack bar in a quick break than to sit down and eat a full meal.

With the amount of unknowns such as lunch, she has experienced some new stresses. She has to go long periods of time on occasion without getting to eat. This could be one of the main contributors to her feeling more tired in the afternoon, but it could also be that by noon she has been up for over 7 hours by noon.

Departure from work.

My wife tends to leave around 6 pm, but there have been a few times where she has left between 12-2 pm. The scheduling right now is sporadic with COVID-19, and incoming patients. I leave work in time to get home and start dinner before she arrives. She is always very tired when she gets home, and I find having dinner ready helps when she needs to study before heading to bed.

I use the time when I am home and she is gone to exercise, work on projects, or make dinner. This is the time where I can catch up on things that I am behind on before she gets home. Usually I am behind on dishes and keeping our kitchen clean. I like to cook and am terrible at keeping everything tidy.

Tips for the reader.

Make it a team effort. Medical school is already hard enough. I find that taking the time to help with the little things make a big difference. Making lunch, dinner, or cleaning up the house goes a long way in reducing stress.

Follow their schedule if possible. I wouldn’t be able to follow my wife’s schedule if she were on third shift, or me, but I can right now. I think that it works well having us get up together and go to bed together. We have opportunities to create more unity and help each other.

Make Time Together

June 24, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Now that my wife is in medical school we have really grown to appreciate the time that we have together. With free time being limited, we have to make choices on what we want to do together in advance. Now, not everything that we decide to do together is super extravagant, or extremely time consuming, but it doesn’t need to be. We have found that it is fun to do bigger things together, but we get more quality time together when we are laid back.

There are a lot of reasons that we don’t get to spend as much time with each other as we would like. We have found that most of the reasons we do not get to spend time together are good reasons. We have things going on in our lives and can’t always put them on hold. I have put together a list of some reasons, and whether or not I think they are legitimate reasons for not making time together. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them eat up time.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because I have to:

Work at my job. This is a good thing. It is good to have time away from each other because it helps us find ourselves. I work from 6:30-5pm on weekdays so that we have income, which is kind of important.

Mow the lawn. When living in a house with a yard this is inevitable. At some point the grass will have to be cut, the question is by who. I could pay someone to come to my house and mow my yard (which takes about 15-20 minutes) or I can just do it myself.

Work on house projects. I do a fairly significant amount of work on our house to maintain it and increase the functionality and appearance. Some of the work is a requirement, but some of it is additional tasks that I have chosen to do. Lately, I have been remodeling our basement to bring it a little bit more up to date. This is not a requirement. There was nothing in the basement of our house that was damaging or going to cause major problems.

Watch tv and play on my phone. This is something that I think is the least beneficial to our relationship. That being said, watching tv and playing on my phone has a time and place. There are times where my wife is busy with school, and I have completed everything else on my to-do list.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because my wife has to:

Study for class. This is a legitimate reason not to spend time together. This is the reason we moved and are doing what we do. She needs time to study without me needing to bother her.

Attending class or other learning centers. This is another big reason we don’t get to spend time together. I am not upset about either of these reasons because this is why we are here. I want her to excel as much as she can, and that can only be done by attending school and doing her best.

There are some different chores or tasks that we try to work on together that gives us more time. Some of them are washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. Not only do we get to spend time doing these, they go faster. When we help each other it opens up both of ours time so that we can do more together.

Biggest tip for the reader.

If your spouse is busy, be busy too. If your spouse is working and has a time that they will be done. Try to get your work done at the same time. Don’t push off working on projects, chores, or work. If you can get everything done while they are working, you will have a nice window to spend time together. It’s not super fun to have one person done with what they are working on while the other person still have an hour of work to complete because they were watching tv. I have experienced this (and still do).

4th Wedding Anniversary

June 17, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. We got married between our sophomore and junior year of undergrad, in 2016. It has been an awesome experience being married while in college, and I think we have been able to answer quite a few questions for other couples. We enjoy talking with couples that are looking at getting married or are dating while in college.

When your spouse is in medical school there are times that you have to squeeze fun activities into small windows. As an example, we chose to celebrate our anniversary together by going on a day trip. We also looked at the cost to stay somewhere, and decided that we could do a day trip and be satisfied with our time together.

We left our house and headed toward Cleveland, OH to visit Cuyahoga National Park. Neither of us had been there, and it seemed like it would be a nice place to visit together. The weather forecast was good, and walking on the trails and riding in the car together would give us a lot of time to talk to each other. We are both fairly busy, and getting busier, so we decided this would be a nice trip. Our goal for the trip was to get out in nature and spend time together. We don’t get to talk to each other enough, and this was a great opportunity to do so.

We were also able to drive around the Cleveland area to see what it has to offer. Cleveland is a potential residency location, so we decided to drive around the neighborhoods just to see what they looked like. We visited the West Side Market as well. It was a cool experience having vendors selling goods in a bustling building. I can see how it would be filled with people buying meats, vegetables, breads, and confections later in the summer. Due to COVID-19 limiting people in buildings, it was not too busy.

We ended up eating at a nearby restaurant for lunch, then headed to Brandywine Falls, our first stop on the trip. For me, this was the most memorable location. The view of the falls is calming, and I’m pretty sure it was my wife’s favorite.

We ended up not staying in the Cleveland area for dinner and headed home. This worked out well. We went to the store and bought crab legs and some bread and planned to have our Anniversary Feast at our house the next day. This also allowed us to save some money, and get to spend more time together.

Tips for the reader.

Value the little things. Every trip or vacation you take with your spouse doesn’t need to be extravagant. Making a day trip to a scenic location is simple and cheap. Spending time together getting to talk can help you deepen your relationship, and get to know each other more.

Support your spouse. Your relationship will be way better if you can support your spouse in their life goals. I am finding new ways all the time to support my wife. A recent one is finding ways to take day trips or go to parks. It really helps her keep her stress levels down.

Take a cheap trip. Trips don’t have to be expensive in order to be entertaining or fun. As an example, the parks we went to were free, our lunch was $15, and we spent about $20 on gas for the entire trip. Not too bad for visiting a new city and going on a new adventure together.

Sharing a Meal

May 27, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Living in a house has given my wife and I a huge opportunity to share with others. We have had the ability to host as many as 20 medical students at our house for various reasons, feeding them on multiple occasions.

Most of the medical students live in apartments or live in a house with multiple people. Due to this, most of them do not have a lot of space for hosting or inviting people over. I am not saying this is a bad thing. I fully support and want medical students to do what they can to save money. There is a lot of debt accumulation in the medical student community and it’s best to find ways to keep it down.

When my wife and I invite people over we try to prepare meals that are good for lot of people. Occasionally we make burgers or hot dogs, but usually stick to meals like pulled pork. I enjoy smoking meat, and it’s nice to be able to cook for a lot of people. I can usually put in the meat before I go to work, and when I return is it about done. This is very convenient for me, and it is usually best to do something easy. Something else we also do is encourage the attendees to bring items like sides or drinks. I find that this allows people to feel like they are contributing and are not just taking.

A free meal. Inviting people to our home allows us to host for people. We are able to provide food to medical students which can cut a little bit off their food budget. Now, I understand that it isn’t much, but $5 is $5. Not only that, but it may be one of the only recent times they have had a good home cooked meal.

Fellowship in conversation. Meeting together over a meal allows everyone to talk and allows people to feel more relaxed when in conversation. I have found that people talk about different topics when it is over food. Medical students tend not to share hardships or ways that they have overcome them during medical school. I’m not exactly sure why they avoid these topics. It seems to help them all collectively if they talk about these issues and how they have overcome obstacles.

Don’t worry about the cost. I have hosted a lot of people, on a lot of occasions, and I have intentionally never asked anyone to pitch in cash. I find that it gets in the way of everyone having a good time to ask people for money. Also, why would I ask people to come over so that they can pay for food? I find it best to pick something that I am going to make that I can afford, then give them the option of bringing extras.

As a closing thought, I find it important that my medical school friends know that my house is open to them. If they need somewhere to go for any reason they are welcome to stop in. I have actually had quite a few occurrences where med students stop by and stay for dinner. Medical school can create a lot of isolation. By allowing people to come over whenever they want I think I can lessen this for a lot of them. Food draws people together and has a big impact in relationships with people. I encourage you to partake in these types of events if you can find them.

Some tips for the reader.

If you are invited, consider attending. If you are a medical student really try to keep from isolating yourself for extended periods of time. It is already a time where people are working on their own and it is beneficial to get out once in a while.

If you’re hosting, do something simple. Whether you make hot dogs, burgers, or swing through a restaurant, make it simple. It’s better to have time to spend with everyone than be working through their visit to prepare a 5 course meal.

Steer conversation away from medicine. I understand that most everything in a medical students life is medicine, but it’s good to stay in touch with their personal lives. I like to figure out what hobbies people enjoy and go from there.

Learn Basic Car Maintenance

April 26, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I enjoy finding ways to save money and learn new skills. Having enough money to pay for certain things while a spouse is in medical school can be difficult. After all, the easiest way to have more money, is not to spend it. I will outline some things that make a positive impact for me in our budget.

Do basic auto maintenance yourself or find a friend that can. I perform nearly all of my own maintenance on my cars, and for any of my medical school friends. From my experience, a normal shop fee is anywhere from $85-$125 per hour. At this rate, most simple tasks are worth the small amount of time learning how to do them. The tool investment is also small, and pays for itself quickly due to the cost of a professional shop. Some simple tasks are changing your battery, changing oil, checking all of your fluids, replacing brakes, and replacing spark plugs. Oil changes usually include an oil check, coolant, power steering, and washer fluid. Having brakes replaced, spark plugs, or any work not included in an oil change will be put on an hourly rate. Instead of paying a shop to replace your battery, take it upon yourself to go to a store that sells auto parts and make the battery purchase yourself. The shop will be buying a similar (or the same) battery and marking it up. In addition to that, most of the large chain stores will replace your battery for you at no charge. This is dependent on your make and model, but most vehicles are simple to replace.

How I justify doing the work myself. If you’ve ever taken a car to a shop you will know that it is extremely expensive. The billing is based on the “book” time for completion of the task. So if the job will take 2 hrs of shop time, the bill could be anywhere from $170-$250 for the work (excluding parts). I look at this number and see that if this is work I can manage, I could save this money. Not only could I save money, but with the approximate cost between $170-$250, I could purchase the tools for the job. This sets me up for future work or if I know somebody that needs help with similar maintenance. As an example, most vehicles with gasoline engines have spark plugs that are relatively easy to replace. A shop will charge about 1 hr for most vehicles, resulting in a cost of $85-$125 without parts. So, a car owner could spend $85-$125 on the tools (and their time) to complete the job themselves and it would cost the same.

Why I use full synthetic engine oil. Saving money on small maintenance tasks adds up. I drive about 22,000 miles/year. I use full synthetic oil and run it for about 12,000 miles between oil changes. Running full synthetic costs about 25% of conventional oil, and I have had a lot of success with it. An oil change usually costs me about $36 for 12,000 miles, while conventional would cost me about $32 for 3,000 miles. From information, I show that for 12,000 miles of conventional, it would cost about $128. This is almost 4 times the cost of full synthetic oil for the same distance. I understand that full synthetic engine oil is not the beat choice for every vehicle (especially brand new vehicles) but it works well for me. Having a shop change your oil for you can still save a lot of money. If you’re car is not made to handle full synthetic oil, don’t use it. Look in the manual or contact the manufacturer to find out if it’s okay to use.

My recent work. I was getting some odd feelings in the steering when driving and when I checked out my car I had quite a few components that needed to be replaced. I prices out parts from some aftermarket vendors and ordered them to my house. I had to replace a lot of the steering, bearings, and suspension components, which cost me about $500 in parts. The approximate labor cost for a shop to replace these parts would have been about $750-$1,250. So, looking at that kind of price, I chose to purchase a few tools for myself and completed the work at my house. This kind of work is not within everyone’s abilities, but it is within mine.

“Renting” Tools. If you don’t want to purchase any tools, there are auto parts stores that sell parts, and rent tools. One of the greatest things about their tool rental is that it is “free.” When renting tools the store will charge you the cost of the tool, which means that you have purchased it. After you are done with the work, they allow you to return the tool in good working condition and refund you all of the money. As long as you don’t want to keep the tools for yourself, just return them for a full refund.

Tips for the reader.

Do what you feel comfortable doing. If you don’t feel comfortable doing work on your car, don’t. It’s better to have someone help you, or pay someone if you feel uncomfortable. I do not condone performing work outside your abilities or comfort zone, it can be dangerous.

Learn how to tell when you have a problem. If you don’t want to do your own work, try to get good at finding upcoming problems before they become big problems.

Learn online. I find it best to look up how other people are doing the work. This can make it a lot easier and get an idea on how long it will take and how much it will cost.

Purchase parts for the shop. If you are not going to do the work yourself, buy the parts and take them to the shop. This makes it so that you get the parts you want, and there are less overhead costs. The shop will still charge the same on an hourly basis, and you will have more money in your pocket. Make sure to do research on exactly which parts you need and they will fit before ordering.

Eat Steak, Not Fast Food

April 26, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Would you think I’m crazy if I told you that you could eat steak 2 times per day, and it would be cheaper than fast food? Well I guess I am a little crazy, but it’s true. When compared to a meal from fast food chains, you CAN eat cheaper and better at your own home. It just takes a little time and planning.

Fast Food. I know for me when I stop in at a fast food chain I prefer to order a meal and not off the dollar menu. The quality of the food is much better, but the meals end up costing upwards of $8. I would say that $10 is a good estimate on how much a meal would cost for myself. Now, let’s compare that to cooking at home.

If we estimate that an average person eating out everyday for 3 meals would spend between $10 per meal, that’s about $10,950 per year ($210.50/week)! A huge chunk of change.

Now, if that same person were to go out for 2 meals per day (instead of 3) and cooked their 3rd meal at home every day for $5, they would spend about $9,125 per year ($175.50/week).

If a person were to eat breakfast at home, go out for lunch, and eat dinner at home every day ($5/meal), they would spend about $7,300/year ($140.50/week). Still an astonishing amount of money.

If the same person were to make all of their meals at home ($5/meal) and go out 1 time per week, they would spend about $5,735/year ($110.50/week).

Something interesting is my wife and I BOTH eat for under $110 per week with going out together 1 time.

Eating at home. Another way to look at this is if a person were to spend an average of $10 per meal eating at home, they could be eating shrimp and steak at nearly every meal. Shrimp usually runs between $5-$10/lb, and a steak like NY Strip is around $8/lb. Even a high quality fillet minion is around $20/lb and can be divided into four 4oz steaks, making each steak about $5 before cooking. The experience is dependent on learning how to cook properly, but most of the basics of cooking are not hard. It just takes practice.

Now, I understand that a person may not have very much time for making meals everyday, so I suggest making meals for the next day or two. If a person has time at lunch on a Monday, make food for Tuesday and Wednesday. Depending on what food item is being made, it will still be good on Tuesday or Wednesday. There are some other meals that can be prepared in a slow cooker, but I enjoy the freshness of food being baked or cooked off the stove. Proper warming of food that has been cooked earlier in the week is also crucial for the experience. If I am warming something like steak, or another food that wouldn’t fair well in a microwave, I will warm it in the oven. The oven doesn’t boil the fat and water out of food cooking it more, and it’s easier to control when it’s warm enough.

I get that eating steak only would probably not be the healthiest for your body. It might be a little bit rough on your digestive tract as well if there is nothing but fat and protein. What I am trying to show is that we can buy ingredients and spend a little bit of time cooking, and save quite a bit of money. My wife and I try to buy items like vegetables, fruit, cereal, and dairy products on our weekly budget in addition to different meats. Keeping our budget fairly low it’s down on the purchase of nonessential items, and makes it possible for us to be spontaneous at times. We have room in our budget to go out with friends if we want without going over budget. We can buy new clothes, tools, or swing through somewhere for dessert without having to worry about our budget.

Tips for the reader.

Set up a budget. Figure out how much you would like to be able to spend on nonessential items and savings, and work your food budget around it.

Practice patience. With how American culture is based on “GO, GO, GO“ it can be difficult to take the time to cook your own meals. Be patient and make time to cook. This is also great time to spend with your spouse.

Keep it as cheap as possible. We like to travel and as you may know, it’s expensive. If you can keep your variable costs down, you will have more room in your budget for traveling and fun activities.

Do what you can afford. You may be able to eat out at every meal (I don’t know your budget), but I find it best to keep it reasonable and make sure that I can meet my other life goals.

Buy in bulk. Bulk pricing will get you a better deal most of the time. Purchase in larger quantities and store (freeze what can be) and use it later.