Tag: Med Student (Page 2 of 3)

Chores Save the Day

September 23, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Though I am extremely terrible at them, I do fully understand that doing chores around the house can take a load off my wife’s mind. She appreciates when I do chores, like washing dishes or laundry, and I enjoy doing them for her. Doing chores for your spouse can completely change a bad or stressful day into a relaxing evening.

Dishes

My wife enjoys being able to come home to a clean house. Not only clean floors, but not cluttered. I tend to get a lot of stuff out because I like to do projects and cook. At times, we end up without any silverware and a sink full of pots and pans. This is when I know for sure that it is time to do some dishes.

Keeping the dishes under control helps to keep our house clean, and our kitchen uncluttered. It can be hard to do anything in the kitchen when the countertop has been overtaken by grimy dinnerware. So, I try to keep them under control so that my wife doesn’t feel that she needs to do them. Not that she can’t do them, but I don’t want her to feel obligated to do them when she is busy studying.

We have an under counter dishwasher, so loading it and starting it is not a big deal. I usually do at least one load per week to try to maintain them. I cook nearly everyday, which definitely makes them compound faster than if we dined out more often. If you don’t have a powered dishwasher, it is good to find ways to be efficient at washing so that you have more time to spend with your spouse.

Laundry

When we moved into our house we brought a new washer and dryer with us. We bought them for a couple main purposes.

Save time
Save money
Ease of use

Having a washer and dryer has saved us a lot of time and been fortunate enough to have a space that allows us to have our own machines. We tend to start a load when we are going to leave and will return later, after going to a park, and switch the clothes to the dryer. We are able to spend more time together as a result to not needing to leave our home to wash and dry our clothes.

I put save money on the list because we save money on each load that we run. That being said, we did have to buy the machines and they are not giving them away. At about $1,200 for the pair, it would take a lot of washing clothes at $10 per run. If it were 1 load per week it would take just over two years before breaking even on the machine purchase cost. We have had them for over two years as of now, so we are now in the black.

Ease of use is a given. We don’t have to pack up all our dirty clothes and travel to a laundromat. There are things that wash better at a laundromat due to their large washers, but we usually manage doing everything at our house.

Cleaning Floors

This is probably the chore that I do best. I don’t do it very often, but when I do I am world class. I tend to leave picking up random items to my wife and I will vacuum the house. I prefer to use hot rod type vacuum cleaners, but the ole broom and dust pan also does a decent job.

I tend to sweep our kitchen with a broom before wet washing the floors. Food tends to wreak havoc on the floors and will need to be cleaned wet instead of just sweeping. I don’t do this a lot, but should because the floor surface is so much nicer afterward.

The Takeaway

My main point is that when I do chores it lessens the stress on my wife. She can work on schoolwork or come home from the hospital and doesn’t have to feel like she needs to do a bunch of work. She tends to feel stressed when things are cluttered at home, so keeping the home tidy keeps her calm. I don’t have a tendency to keep things organized, but have been working on it. I have been working on it with our home furnishings and have been trying to be more organized with my tools and recreational gear. It will take time, but maybe someday I will finally be trained.

Compounding Fatigue

August 26, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Being the spouse of a medical student, I have been able to be an onlooker behind the scenes of becoming a doctor. I try to pay attention and listen to my wife to gain knowledge in what she is doing, and how she is doing. It is not always easy to tell if she is doing well or not, but there are days it is obvious. Do you feel exhausted? Are you struggling to focus because you are tired? You are not alone. Lots of medical students feel this way.

She is currently in her rotation with Family Medicine, her first rotation was General Surgery and second being Orthopedic Surgery. So far, she has not been stressed as much in this specialty as she was during surgery. She has been at the hospital for a week to experience family medicine, so it may be too early to make any real conclusions. It appears to me that most of the stress she was experiencing during surgery was not so much the work, but the time. Surgery took up a lot of time in her day, and she still had to study for other work at the same time.

Her hardest days do not seem to revolve around a specific event, but is caused by a series of difficult days. Most of the hardships seem to stem from lack of sleep and rest, which has other repercussions. To further explain, it is like filling a 5 gallon bucket with 1 gallon of water each day. On a day where she gets a perfect nights sleep, 1 gallon of water would be drained from the bucket. On a bad nights sleep, there might only be 0.5 gallons of water will drain, leaving 0.5 gallons in the bucket. If this cycle continues for multiple days in a row, the bucket can fill completely and overflow. This is what I would say is a “breakdown day”, where the stress reaches a maximum and she has a hard time getting stuff done. If at this point if the cycle isn’t broken, the days of being overly stressed will continue. On the other hand, if she can get better rest, the days of overly stress can reduce and she functions better.

We have been trying to find ways to reduce her stress and help her keep going in school. Weekends need to be more oriented around things she enjoys, and time away from chaos. I’m not sure we will ever find a perfect solution, but we will keep trying to find new ways to help. Some activities that seem to help right now are taking walks (and talking), riding bikes, watching tv, and playing video games. Some other things that she enjoys doing are reading and completing coloring books.

What we have learned.

Something that we learned and I continue to remind my wife is how these hardships may feel like they will destroy her, and in the end will build her up. Though it is hard now, she will one day benefit from the hard work she is putting into this time in life. As she continues to persevere through the pain, fatigue, and emotional stress, she will become stronger. At the completion of this goal, she will become a doctor and will have many opportunities to help people. This will also fulfill one of her dreams.

It is key to have rest, as it is just as important as work time. Making sure that she rests will help her run and prevent burnout. Medical School is only 4 years, but these are hard years. There are more challenges now, than previously in the students academic career. Get a good nights sleep, eat well, and find a hobby you can do in your spare time. It will make a big difference in your productivity, and happiness.

The Collegiate Marriage Gain

August 19, 2020 / Jacob Brown

There are a lot of positive aspects and advantages to getting married. My wife and I got married while earning our undergraduate degrees. I know that a lot of people date through college and waited until afterward because they don’t feel they were ready. There is nothing wrong with waiting until after you graduate from college, but I would like to explain how we went about getting married during college. Getting married while in school was a good move for us, and it might be for you as well.

It may seem a little bit scary to get married while in school, and I totally understand. There were a lot of factors that we considered before deciding to get married while in school. After we gathered information online and from our families, we decided that it would be better to get married while in school, instead of waiting until after we graduated.

Following are some of our main concerns that we had while we were trying to get married during college. There may be more, but these are some big ones that I am confident will resonate with others.

Can we afford to rent an apartment? Eat? Gas? Insurance? Phones? We decided to make a spreadsheet of all of our future expenses. Rent, utilities, gas, insurance, food, and extra expenses were some of our main categories. We crunched all of the numbers and found an approximate amount of money that we would have to make during the summer in order to live. We were able to live in an apartment owned by my parents for free, the rent cost to us was providing the upkeep for the property. My wife’s parents offered to pay for our phones, which was a huge help is getting us started. Her parents also offered to pay for her gas, which also helped a lot. We tried to be fairly strict on our food budget so that we would have extra money to do fun activities together. My wife took the initiative to work at the school as a lab assistant to bring in extra money. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to boost our bank account and made it possible for us to partake in fun activities together.

Are her parents prepared to pay for the wedding? This seems to be a huge deal for the bride’s parents (if they are paying for it). Weddings can be very costly, but that all depends on how the event has been planned. Is it low budget? Is it very extravagant? Is it somewhere in the middle? Getting married can be as low cost or as expensive as we want it to be. We worked with my wife’s parents to find out what they wanted and could pay and went from there. Not everyone’s parents have the ability to pay for something like this if they are also paying for their child’s school bills. It could be another big expense to add on at a hard time.

Will we have somewhere to live together? Like I said above, my parents were able to let us live in a property that they owned. Not everyone will be able to have this blessing, but some do. Some people are able to live at their parent’s house and go to school if they live close enough. If you are unable to have this opportunity, I urge you to find housing that is at the bottom of your budget, just inside the limit of feeling safe where you live. It doesn’t have to be a large place or have lots of amenities. You won’t live there very long, and will enjoy the money that you save. I know a couple that we went to college with that lived at the husband’s parent’s house. The parents were out of town a lot, so they had the house completely to themselves most of the year.

How much do we need to make during the summer? Overall, this is one of the biggest considerations for people in college. The work during the summer provides all or nearly all of the income for the person while they are in college. We worked at our own jobs during the summer then had to make it work for the most part. It is hard to have a good paying summer job when you are a seasonal worker. We took this amount of money and used it to help us budget for the school year. From what I remember, we had about $6,000 from summer work to stretch across 9 months so that we could make it through the school year. This isn’t a lot of money, so budgeting is crucial.

Can we get better financial aid when we get married? For those that don’t know, financial aid is offered to college students. The federal and state financial aid is used to help those whose families are under a certain threshold of income so that they can go to college. From our experience (same rules are set today) we were able to get more aid after we were married than before. This is due to the fact that when you get married YOU are the head of household, not a dependent. When you fill out everything and show that your household makes very little money, you can get full assistance. When we got married we missed the cutoff for state aid, but were able to receive the federal aid. This resulted in only paying about $5,000 for the school year. Then, the following year after we made the cutoff for federal and state we were able to get paid to go to school. We were able to use that money for cost of living and save our money from working during the summer.

Will we keep our school scholarships? I’m sure there are scholarships that you are not able to keep when you are married. My wife and I did not have those types of scholarships. My wife won a scholarship through the presidential scholarship competition at the college we attended. This money paid for all of her schooling the last 2 school years after we got married. I had very little loans my junior year, and none my senior year.

Can we keep our friend groups after marriage? From my experience, you should be able to keep all of your friends after you get married. There are limitations, but this is a general rule. I also found that it is good to hang out with your friends and have time with them. It is good to be yourself and have fun with friends or alone, and not only with your spouse.

Do our families approve of the decision? How can we explain our decision to them so they understand we can make it? We didn’t have to convince our parents in my opinion. We did do a lot to demonstrate how we would make it and how we had planned out our budgeting. Having enough money is hard, but it can be done. I would suggest putting together a budget with expenses that shows an approximate income and living expenses for the entire year. After all, you will still need some sort of living space when school is out of session.

If you are looking at getting married while in college, you may be thinking of the same questions we did. We spent well over a year figuring out everything for after we got married, we started before we were engaged. That being said, not everyone has the same concerns or needs as much time to make decisions as we did. If you want to get married, you can do it.

I am not a fan of long engagements, and believe that when we know we want to get married, we should do it as soon as possible. This is partly why we got married while in college, we are also “high school sweethearts.” Our engagement was about 9 months, which was plenty long for the wedding planning. Most of the wedding planning was done during the school year. Take time to think about what you will gain by getting married in college. It is a challenge at times, but well worth it in my opinion.

Prepare for the Drive

August 12, 2020 / Jacob Brown

With third year going strong this summer, my wife has gotten to experience what it is like to drive a fair distance to work. I have driven about 40 miles per day since we moved to Ohio, but she has not had the same experience. We live very close to the medical school, about 0.25 miles from the parking lot. So, most of her driving up to this point has been short.

Since she started working in Orthopedic Surgery, she has been driving about 50 miles per day. This rotation only runs for about 4 weeks, but in her next rotation she will drive a good distance as well (about 60 miles per day). The schedule change has a new set of challenges for her.

In the morning she has to wake up 30-40 minutes earlier to get to work than she did in the past. This also means that she needs to get in bed sooner, and has less time for extra activities during the day. When she is tired from work she still has to climb into her car and drive home, which takes about 45 minutes. It’s important to me for her to have a comfortable and safe vehicle in these circumstances. There is a lot of standing and walking in her daily schedule, which takes a toll on her. So, an uncomfortable car can amplify any aches or pains she is having from the day. Her previous vehicle tended to make any pains she was having worse. This is partly why I recently got her into a new car. Not only for the comfort, but the reliability of the new vehicle gives me some peace of mind while she is driving all over the Midwest. There will be times when she is away in another city, and it benefits me having her in a reliable vehicle. I feel that I don’t have to worry about her as much now as I did before, while she was driving her previous vehicle.

I have found that driving this distance to work to have positive effects as well as negative effects. Overall I enjoy driving this distance to work, but if given the opportunity to drive shorter I would consider it. This is a list of some of the main points that come to mind. It really will depend on who you are and what you enjoy doing. Do you enjoy driving? Do you need alone time?

Positive Effects

Time to clear my mind after work.
Alone time to reflect on your day or plan.
Quiet time to be with my thoughts.
Wind down from the stress and work of the job.
My wife and I enjoy driving, so it has a fun factor for us.

Negative Effects

Increased time away from home due to driving 1 hr+ per day.
Have to stay focused until getting home before relaxing.
Delayed dinner on occasion.
Have to wake up earlier to get to work.
More time on the road means a greater risk for an accident.

There are things that can be done to prepare for longer drives as well. Keeping water and snacks in your car is one thing that can help when getting out of work. My wife doesn’t get a lot of time to eat lunch, so her drive home could be used to catching up on eating leading into dinner. One thing that is extremely important to safe driving is making sure that you have slept enough. Falling asleep at the wheel can spell disaster, even in a smart vehicle that has advanced safety features.

It is important to me to have a reliable car and good tires when looking at driving long distances. As we are getting closer to fall and winter here in the Midwest, the road conditions will change and allow for a higher risk of accidents. Things will change as we near winter weather as this will add more factors to the long drives.

Prepare for the conditions and find ways to make it enjoyable for yourself. Make use of this time alone to reflect on your day or look forward to what is next. If you don’t have anything to reflect upon, crank the tunes and have fun with it. Make it into something you look forward to because it is enjoyable. Be safe out there!

Med School Pros #1

August 5, 2020 / Jacob Brown

There are a lot of things going on in medical school that stresses the students and their families. I don’t want to paint a picture for current and upcoming students that medical school is just a terrible time where you are stressed and have a hard time living your life. It’s not that way. Yes it is hard, from my wife’s experiences and what I observe, but there are pros for being in this stage of life. This will be a continuous thread that I want to keep adding to as they come up, but here are a few of them right now.

Make new friends. Just like every school experience we have had so far, there are other people attending that share our interests. We are not the kind of people that need a lot of friends to feel content, but a few good friends to fill that void in our lives. It can be hard to manage having a lot of friends anyway, but some people can do it. Making new friends has allowed us to find people that share our interests. This is important for us because by finding people we can hang out with, we are able to discuss deeper topics or just have fun with other couples. I know that my wife has enjoyed making new friends because it allows her to get to relate to someone. I know that I am her husband, but there are things that I can’t and won’t ever totally understand. She has made some female friends that she can relate to and have good conversations.

If you haven’t ever tried, join a group of people with similar interests. School sanctioned groups exist in the graduate school level just as they do in undergrad. We have had the opportunity to make friends and have some good times with the people as well.

Experience a work environment. If you are a medical student, more than likely you have not had a true experience in the workforce. I know some of the medical students have had a job before going back to school to become an MD or DO, but it is not very common. Summer jobs allow a person to gain some experience of what it is like to be in the hierarchy of a business, but it can also be misleading. A lot of time the “summer help” roles are not very serious, and have little responsibility. Most of the work is little things that businesses need done on the side, but have not had a lot of time to complete. This is not true for every summer job, but I have found it relevant. It is impossible for medical students to have summer jobs while in school, which is all year. Without being able to have a summer job, they can not procure money to live during the school year either.

During school this summer my wife has been able to work in hospitals with doctors to get experience of what it is like to be on the job. She is now working with an Orthopedic Surgeon, which has also been a great experience. This cycle of her school year is in a rural location, which has been a change from being in a larger more urban hospital.

Create lifelong experiences. This is probably a little cliche, but it is true. The time that the medical students spend in school will impact them for the rest of their lives. The relationships that are made, the experiences, and the time to grow in this environment are all important. This time is hard, and will shape the student into a doctor.

Start to find your stride in life. For some students this is the first time that they are truly away from their parents and family. It can be hard for them to cope with the change. This might be the first time that they are “adulting” and being self-sufficient. During this time they really get to find how they want to live life, and what path they will go down for their career. There are a lot of choices they have to make during this time as well. They have to choose how much to take on loans, where to live, who to hang out with and much more. All of these decisions make them who they are, and allow them to make their life their own.

Try new things. Medical School in general is a big change for the student. They have never taken classes in medical school before, and don’t really have an idea of what is ahead when they first start school. I remember my wife’s first week of school. She had just spent the entire summer, the last real summer vacation, relaxing and getting settled into the area. When classes started she realized they were much different than the classes in undergrad. This isn’t a bad thing, but it is a change and is something to learn. She told me quite often how much more independent the student has to be in medical school compared to undergrad. There is very little assistance from the professors, or doctors, and a lot of the work is just left up to the student to accomplish.

Take the time during medical school to try new things. Whether it be food, trips, hobbies, or making friends, it is a good time to take on new challenges.

Drop Her Off

July 29, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I remember all the times that my now wife and I would go down to the lake or out to eat during college. We tried to spend time together at least 3 days per week, most of which involves having dinner at her parent’s house. Spending time together is fun, but it comes to an end as the sun goes down. The worst part for me during this dating phase in our relationship was taking her home afterward, just so that I could pick her up sometime the next day to spend time together again. This was our life during college before we got married. Separating yourself from your significant other for the night is not the easiest thing to do, or the most desirable, but plays a large role in the health of the relationship.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is a common phrase that pertains to this subject. When we are seeking someone to date or marry in our lives, it can be difficult to be apart. After all, we enjoy the company of the other person and creating memories with them. Most of the time we have similar interests as our significant other and like to do the same things. I have found myself doing activities alone that I feel I should be doing with my wife because she enjoys them as well. I don’t really like leaving her out of activities that I think are fun for both of us. As an example, I don’t usually ride my bike or use my kayak without her (unless she can’t go due to her busy schedule) because I know she enjoys the activities.

If we are always reliant on someone or something, it can be hard to tell exactly how much we like or depend on it. As an example, imagine a person has a cellphone with them for calls, messages, and maps. They always have their phone with them. Now, what if this person was in a town they don’t recognize and their phone battery dies. Now what? They are left with figuring out how to get home by themselves without the help of other people. They have no way to call and ask for help or use map programs. What will they do?

In reality they would probably just find someone and ask them to use their phone or ask directions. But what if the phone is someone we are dating and they leave the relationship? What if they are gone for a week without seeing you? It can be hard to tell how much we rely on a significant other without having space apart from them, whatever the length of time. If the relationship were to end, can we still make our way through life effectively? In the example with a person and their phone, if they have never learned to make it in life without it (or lost touch with being single), they could be lost for a long time.

Dating can be a difficult time. For some there is a lot of heartbreak and turmoil. Others, like myself, were fortunate enough to date younger and stick with the same lady until marriage.

Learn the “paper maps” of your relationship. It is good to help each other in relationships. Not all of us have strengths in every aspect, and your significant other should complement those weaknesses. That being said, we should be able to navigate all aspects of our lives without our significant other while dating. If your partner is gone on a trip or is going to relax with their friends, don’t set yourself up for failure by being overly dependent. It is good to rely on them for some things, but not everything. I like to think of my weaknesses as being the “paper map.” It still works, but it is harder for me to navigate. Her strengths that compliment my weaknesses could be referred to as the “GPS” maps. I can still operate and navigate life without a GPS, but the GPS improves the situation.

Continue your life, and add them to it. Not all aspects of our lives can be continued when we start dating. For example, if a person was going on dates with different people and finds one they have decided to date, it’s probably not in their best interest to keep dating other people. This is just one activity, but there are others. It would be awkward if the person decided that they still wanted to drive around in the car how they used to when they were single. Maybe in order to do this they told their significant other that they would need to drive themselves because they want to drive alone all the time. Probably not super productive for relational growth.

Another change would be going from spending all of our time with our friends, then spending no time with them because we are dating someone. This change would involve spending all of our free time with our significant other. If we spend 100% of our time with someone, it can get quite annoying. I am just going to say it. We don’t need to spend all of our time with someone in order to show them we care about them. It is good to spend a healthy amount of time with your significant other, and a healthy amount of time with your friends or alone. If you are prospecting marriage with your significant other, it would be good to figure out how much time to spend with them. Should I spend more time with them than my friends? From my perspective, we should make a significant other an addition to our lives to improve. These relationships should not hinder us.

Drop her off at the end of the day. I am a big advocate for waiting until marriage to move in together and become physically active. Is it easy? NO. It might be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship in today’s society. We have a lot of cultural and societal influences that try to persuade us away from this idea. Everything from TV shows, to books, to music tries to influence us against the idea of waiting until marriage. The rate of divorce is higher among people who cohabitate before marriage. What are some influences in living together that could result in a high divorce rate? I’m not really sure if there is a definitive answer. It seems to me that it could be the result of too much dependency and too much time together for their people to know whether they should get married or not. They could be stuck in an “infatuation” phase and are not able to move out of it due to decreased separation from each other. Spending all of this time together does not allow them to find what they need in life, and what their partner will do when they are apart. When the day together is over, it’s beneficial to be separated. It’s good to live apart and really find what it is you enjoy or are looking for in a person.

How do I budget when I have no income?

July 15, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Working during school may not be an option, which leaves college students without income as they invest into their lives through higher education. Nearly all college students have money coming to them in some form, whether that be their money from summer work, deposits from another person, or loans. The source of that income could be from a job, loans (usable money but not technically income), or gifted to them by family. When I state income, I am mainly speaking about money coming in from the student working or from their spouse/significant other. Loan money deposited into a student’s bank account is similar to income (because it can be spent), but is not taxable.

Having enough money was an issue for me when I was in undergrad, and it is an issue among nearly all college students. It is difficult to figure out how much to spend on categories like transportation, housing, food, and extra activities when there is no payday in sight. It is more crucial to budget at this time. An overspent month can lead to a shortage on the next, with nothing to make up the difference.

My experience.

When I was in undergrad I tried a few different ways to balance my money. The first mistake I made was take all of the money in my account and divide it evenly across the school year. This seemed like a good idea at the time.

This setup allowed me to pace myself and know exactly how much time I had left before I ran out of money. Unfortunately, when the budget is just distributed it is hard to stay under, or considerably under. I started going to the maximum amount for each week or a little bit over, and before I knew it I was out of money. I completed my freshman year of college with $25 in my account which was just enough to fill the tank on my truck to drive home to my parent’s house. This was not my greatest idea, and I changed it for the following school year.

I started the school year with about $3,000. With this money, I had to pay some of my schooling out of pocket which left me with less money right off the bat. From what I remember, I only had about $60-$80 per week to spend on groceries, gas, and other activities. This is not a lot of money, and it was supposed to last 9 months. I did not have a lot of money to do things like go out to eat, do activities with friends, or have extravagant meals. I spent about $30 per week on groceries, which was enough. The remaining money was used on gas and “necessities.” AKA stuff I didn’t need to buy but did anyway.

I owned my vehicle and my parents paid for my insurance. Which was one thing that helped me to save some money. I also did all of my own maintenance, which allowed me to save money on the vehicle purchase. I did not have to purchase an expensive or newer vehicle.

There are probably 1,000 ways to arrange your budget to best suit you. It can be hard at times to budget because we like nice things or things that aren’t in need of TLC. Sometimes it is crucial to step back and look at what we have and decide what is most important and what can go away. Here are some guidelines of what I recommend to student living off of loans.

Find housing that is the bare minimum, but is comfortable. If you are going to pay for housing on loans, keep the cost down. Federal Graduate Loans run at about 7% interest. So imagine paying around normal sales tax on your loans while they accrue interest. I’m not saying that you should live in an apartment or house that is in a terrible location for your commute or is dangerous for your health. Find something cheap and reasonable to accommodate your needs.

Don’t lease or buy a vehicle on your loans. I have a view on loans that may differ from you. I do not think that we should ever take out loans when there is no return on our investment, but especially on vehicles due to their loss in value. They depreciate quickly, which means that the buyer loses their money quickly. Vehicles are not an investment, it is a tool that loses value over time. A large portion of graduate loans can be allocated to “cost of living.” That being said, the amount taken out should be kept to a minimum. Last school year my wife could have taken nearly $60,000 over the tuition cost for living. To me, that is absolutely insane! I have listed some “options” for how I would handle needing a vehicle. There are probably more options, but these are ones that came to my mind.

Option #1. If you HAVE to purchase a vehicle, take the time to research vehicles and make a decision for a low cost reliable vehicle. As a doctor, or soon to be, you don’t have the option of being late to work. Find a reliable vehicle at a low price (as low as you can stand) and pay for it in full. Don’t use your education loans to pay for car loans or leases.

Option #2. If you have any money that is not from loans, or parents that are willing to help, definitely go that route. I would avoid using loans on vehicles at all costs, but if you have to, make it go a long way with something very reliable.

Option #3. If you have a family member that will let you borrow a car for a few years, do it. It is probably the only option that can get you around town for nearly free. You may have to pay for insurance and fuel, but you would be paying for that anyway with a vehicle you purchase.

Budget to a minimum on food. I would think that in most areas of the United States a person could spend under $100 per week on food for themselves. It is definitely easier here in the Midwest, but may be a stretch on the East or West Coast. Learn how to prep your own food. You can eat healthier, and have food ready for you at home at any time. If you can avoid going out, which might be the most expensive way to eat, your money will go further. If you want more information on food budgeting, visit my other post on Eat Steak, Not Fast Food where I do a short discussion on saving money on food.

The 3 things above are the most important from my perspective. There are other expenditures like cell phones, computers, vacations, holidays, and others that are variable costs. All of them influence our spending, and some of them are necessities, but they tend to be cheaper than the 3 points listed in the previous sections.

Notes for the reader.

Find the amount you are willing to pay back. In the end it’s all a personal choice. Find the amount you are willing to pay back in the future. Use an online student loan calculator to figure out how much your monthly payments will be based off your interest rate and loan term. Though doctors make a good salary, consider the debt load. As an example, if a student borrows at 7% interest and has $250,000 (including accrued interest) at the end of the 4 years of Medical School, they will have a monthly payment of $1,767 for 25 years. The interest paid back is about $280,000 with a total repayment of $530,000, over double what has been borrowed.

Borrow to live, not to “live.” Calculating how much to borrow is purely based off what you need to live. It will vary from student to student but should be similar between them. Keeping the total amount down by avoiding costly ventures like extra electronics, large vacations, or overspending in other categories will benefit you in the future. Going on vacations and having nice things is fun, but the benefits should be weighed against what will need to be repaid.

Keep purchases on nonessentials to a minimum. It’s fun and tempting to go on vacation or buy new toys. That being said, I don’t think that we should not do either if we have the financial capacity. I have found it possible to go on mini vacations or purchase fun items without spending a lot. My wife and I have taken day trips to places which are very cheap. We have purchased items for our enjoyment that do not require additional money to be put into them. When it is time to move after medical school, unless the stuff is sold or thrown out, it will have to go with us.

Early Mornings

July 8, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife just started her third year of medical school. For those that don’t know, third year requires students to partake in activities alongside interns and attendings. The learning takes place in their (the doctors’) work environment on their schedule. This period of the students’ learning allows them to see how hospitals and clinics operate. They get to learn different procedures and techniques related to the many sectors of the medical field. It is the time when the traditional classroom learning environment diminishes and they begin transitioning into “hands on” training.

Our basic schedule is outlined below. It’s nothing exciting, but it is good insight in what is to come for those going into third year. My wife does a lot of different things at the hospital. Some of the things she does include rounding, scrubbing in on surgery, performing procedures, and others. I will definitely be writing another post that goes more depth on what she is doing, and how to best be prepared.

Starting the day.

My wife is currently working in surgery. Due to surgeries being scheduled nearly all day in hospitals, she is working longer hours than I am. My day typically involves me getting up at 5:15 am, but her day requires 4:30 am. Due to the fact that she begins earlier than I do, I get up with her to keep her company and help her get ready. She has to leave by 5:10 am to head to the hospital to avoid being late. She doesn’t have to be ready until about 6:00 am, but it takes a while to get ready with all of the time spent parking and prepping for the day. While she gets ready in the morning I take the initiative to make her lunch. I usually pack some items for making sandwiches, salads, or other items that we have made recently.

Lately I’ve been including salad with mozzarella, tomato, dressing, and chicken breast. Other items included are croutons, apple slices, and a bottle of water.

Lunch time.

My wife does not have a regular lunch schedule. Most of the time she has lunch randomly or not at all. The time allotted is typically when it is convenient in her schedule. I pack snacks bars for her for in case she has time to eat them. It is a lot easier to grab a snack bar in a quick break than to sit down and eat a full meal.

With the amount of unknowns such as lunch, she has experienced some new stresses. She has to go long periods of time on occasion without getting to eat. This could be one of the main contributors to her feeling more tired in the afternoon, but it could also be that by noon she has been up for over 7 hours by noon.

Departure from work.

My wife tends to leave around 6 pm, but there have been a few times where she has left between 12-2 pm. The scheduling right now is sporadic with COVID-19, and incoming patients. I leave work in time to get home and start dinner before she arrives. She is always very tired when she gets home, and I find having dinner ready helps when she needs to study before heading to bed.

I use the time when I am home and she is gone to exercise, work on projects, or make dinner. This is the time where I can catch up on things that I am behind on before she gets home. Usually I am behind on dishes and keeping our kitchen clean. I like to cook and am terrible at keeping everything tidy.

Tips for the reader.

Make it a team effort. Medical school is already hard enough. I find that taking the time to help with the little things make a big difference. Making lunch, dinner, or cleaning up the house goes a long way in reducing stress.

Follow their schedule if possible. I wouldn’t be able to follow my wife’s schedule if she were on third shift, or me, but I can right now. I think that it works well having us get up together and go to bed together. We have opportunities to create more unity and help each other.

Public Parks

July 1, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Public parks are spread around the Toledo, Ohio area and provide small oases away from bustling city life. They are like pockets of space that we have allowed to grow into a more natural form, and allow us to gather the same feeling that we would get from venturing out of town. Most of the Metro Parks are wooded and have paths for walking, running, and biking. Benches are placed along the trails for people wanting a good vantage point to spot wildlife and relax outdoors. Occasionally we see wildlife in the areas. Deer, rabbits, and various birds are pretty common to see while moving through these peaceful parks.

A doe and her two fawns walking down a path.

My wife and I enjoy going to public parks to relax together. Walking on trails or riding bikes allows us to spend time together, and we usually have time to talk while doing so. Occasionally we take the time to sit on a bench and have a conversation, depending on how many bugs are swarming us. We also will go out together for dessert and stop at one of the local parks to sit and eat together. There are plenty of ice cream shops in the area offering a treat during hot weather.

Spending time walking in our public parks allows us to get to know each other more. We spend time chatting about current problems we are experiencing and whatever else is going on in our lives. I truly think that it offers us more good talks together than just sitting at home. Going out offers a change in scenery that makes us feel more free to discuss different topics.

A young deer feeding as we pass on a trail.

From what I have seen, it appears that when people get married they tend to slide into a lifestyle that does not include as much activity. That doesn’t mean that everyone does, but when people (like us) have the option we tend to be physically lazy. I know of a few couples around our age that are dating or have gotten married that have become more active, but I think that is more rare. My wife and I have been trying to be more active lately and walking/biking in public parks has been our main choice of exercise.

Tips for the reader.

Find an activity that allows you to learn about your significant other. We choose to go out and hike or walk in park because we have the opportunity to get to know each other more. The scenery is a nice addition, but the main point of the activity is to keep investing in each other.

Find your happy place. It’s beneficial for many reasons to find a spot that takes some stress out of your life. Medical school causes stress for spouses and students, and it’s good to keep it from spilling into other parts of your life.

Make the trip often. If you have time to get to a park or other location 3 times a week, do it. Get out and keep working on your relationship as much as you can. There won’t always be time for activities like this, so make the most of it.

Make Time Together

June 24, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Now that my wife is in medical school we have really grown to appreciate the time that we have together. With free time being limited, we have to make choices on what we want to do together in advance. Now, not everything that we decide to do together is super extravagant, or extremely time consuming, but it doesn’t need to be. We have found that it is fun to do bigger things together, but we get more quality time together when we are laid back.

There are a lot of reasons that we don’t get to spend as much time with each other as we would like. We have found that most of the reasons we do not get to spend time together are good reasons. We have things going on in our lives and can’t always put them on hold. I have put together a list of some reasons, and whether or not I think they are legitimate reasons for not making time together. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them eat up time.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because I have to:

Work at my job. This is a good thing. It is good to have time away from each other because it helps us find ourselves. I work from 6:30-5pm on weekdays so that we have income, which is kind of important.

Mow the lawn. When living in a house with a yard this is inevitable. At some point the grass will have to be cut, the question is by who. I could pay someone to come to my house and mow my yard (which takes about 15-20 minutes) or I can just do it myself.

Work on house projects. I do a fairly significant amount of work on our house to maintain it and increase the functionality and appearance. Some of the work is a requirement, but some of it is additional tasks that I have chosen to do. Lately, I have been remodeling our basement to bring it a little bit more up to date. This is not a requirement. There was nothing in the basement of our house that was damaging or going to cause major problems.

Watch tv and play on my phone. This is something that I think is the least beneficial to our relationship. That being said, watching tv and playing on my phone has a time and place. There are times where my wife is busy with school, and I have completed everything else on my to-do list.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because my wife has to:

Study for class. This is a legitimate reason not to spend time together. This is the reason we moved and are doing what we do. She needs time to study without me needing to bother her.

Attending class or other learning centers. This is another big reason we don’t get to spend time together. I am not upset about either of these reasons because this is why we are here. I want her to excel as much as she can, and that can only be done by attending school and doing her best.

There are some different chores or tasks that we try to work on together that gives us more time. Some of them are washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. Not only do we get to spend time doing these, they go faster. When we help each other it opens up both of ours time so that we can do more together.

Biggest tip for the reader.

If your spouse is busy, be busy too. If your spouse is working and has a time that they will be done. Try to get your work done at the same time. Don’t push off working on projects, chores, or work. If you can get everything done while they are working, you will have a nice window to spend time together. It’s not super fun to have one person done with what they are working on while the other person still have an hour of work to complete because they were watching tv. I have experienced this (and still do).