Tag: Joy

Stealing a Precious Moment in Time

April 13, 2021 / Jacob Brown

My wife and I wanted to capture more of our lives which resulted in purchasing a camera just before last Christmas. I made a post a while back on what we were going to purchase, but I haven’t taken the time to put together a summary of how we are enjoying ourselves. We have been able to secure taking photos of my friends and family which has offered good practice. It has taken some time to get good practice, but we are getting closer to feeling comfortable taking photos for others. Taking photos for others is one of my goals in this venture, but there is a lot of practice required before feeling comfortable. I don’t want to take photos of someone just to have all of the photos be bad or have some sort of flaw. This is probably one of my greatest fears in photography!

My Brief Analysis

I’m not going to write a review of the camera that we purchased because there are plenty on the internet. I have not experienced the camera long enough to write a strong detailed review, but maybe someday. We made the decision to purchase a Sony Mirrorless camera. Now, you may be wondering why we didn’t purchase the tried and true DSLR. The reason we did not purchase a DSLR is… there really isn’t a reason against the DSLR. We purchased a mirrorless camera in part because it is newer technology but I also thought that it would be fun to try. I know people with DSLR cameras and I thought it would be fun to try something different. The biggest difference that I have seen between it and a DSLR, is having a screen inside the viewfinder. This has been very nice and seems to have made taking photos easier than with a DSLR. The quality that we have gotten from the camera is very high. I think that a lot of the photos we’ve taken are professional quality. I have found that if I want to take easy photos, I can set it up to be just as easy as a smartphone.

Having the ability to manual focus has been new as well. I have not had the option and it is not a standard feature on smartphones. I have enjoyed getting to pick our point of focus and created more depth in our photos. My wife enjoys taking photos in this fashion that have a lot of bokeh (focusing on an object with lots of blur in the surround objects). I like taking control of the camera and making all of the setting myself even though the camera is pretty smart.

I would say that overall my experience with the Sony Mirrorless camera has been very good. It has only been about 5 months, but it seems that its only getting better.

My Photography Goals

One of my main goals while taking up photography is to capture more of our lives. It can be difficult to take things or materialistic items with us due to being in medical school, but we can take thousands and thousands of photos without much trouble. We are hoping to detail our lives for our own sake so that we can someday share our memories with our families. I have found that most people lost the art of the scrap book, but we want to keep files of our photos in a similar fashion.

After getting good at taking photos I would like to venture out to help others experience the joy of seeing a moment from their lives. It’s not an easy task (capturing a moment from someone’s life in a photo) but it is something that I would like to strive to achieve. My wife is in medical school which makes her pretty busy. I am reaching out to find new hobbies and challenges to fill my time that can also carry over to when my wife becomes a practicing doctor. I am hoping that photography will become a lifelong hobby that we can enjoy together.

The Lows are Low

November 18, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. All of us have felt this at some point. Whether we get sick or have a family member pass, there will be a time when we are not happy. And that’s ok. When life is going well and we are on the ups, the downs can hit us hard.

My wife has had hard experiences during her life that have crippled her mentally, and made it hard for her to complete daily tasks. She is tough, but not invincible. Recently she made a post on social media that I think is worth sharing. The female perspective is different on these topics than mine, and that’s good. My wife feels and notices a lot more in some aspects than I do.

My wife is amazing and wrote this really well. She has been having a lower time in her life, though things are going well. Some of the frustration for her seems to come from where we are in life. There are a lot of decisions to be made and she feels like we are kind of stuck. Read the following message from her and see if you can relate.

“This is important. Pay attention.

What does depression look like to you?

I want to be honest. Like really honest. My timeline is full of happy pictures. Smiles and love. Family and friends. Next steps in my medical school journey. Memories of good times. That’s all great and life is full of wonderful moments…

But.

Life also has valleys. Times of sadness, anger, frustration, worry, and fear.
And when I find myself in those valleys, they just seem a little deeper and a little darker than others.

“Aleena, why are you sad?” … I don’t know.
“Aleena, why are you mad?” … I don’t know.
“Aleena, let’s go out” … maybe another time.
“Why aren’t you reading?” … I don’t want to.
“Why don’t you take pictures?” … I don’t have the energy.
“Let’s take a walk.” … I don’t know if I can move.

“Well if you don’t know, then why stay sad? Why stay angry? Why worry?”
…
I don’t know.

And I’m being honest. I don’t have an answer for these questions.

Please know I know that God has a plan for me. Please know that I know that there is good all around me. Please know I know it doesn’t help to focus on the negative. Please know I know it’s not productive to worry. Please know I know my God is in control. Because I know all this. It doesn’t change the fact that the valley is still deep and dark and it will take me time to climb out of it.

I’m so excited for each new rotation. I’m so excited to pick my specialty. I’m so excited to be an aunt. I’m so excited for the holidays. I’m so excited for Jacob and I’s next steps. I’m so excited for our future, my future.

I know things will get better, but right now, it’s about surviving. And surviving is enough. Surviving is good. Surviving is the first part of climbing out.

Please don’t worry or freak out. I’m ok. I am loved and taken care of. As my husband told me today, I have an army behind me ready to help and I am thankful for every single one of them.

So. If you happen to find yourself in the deep, dark valleys… I see you. I understand.

And I’m here. For the car rides. For the coffees. For the smoothies. For the silence. I’m here. And we survive together. We climb out together.

This year has been tough on all of us. Check in on each other. Realize that sometimes words can’t describe how someone is feeling. Just be there. That’s enough. And remember, valleys can’t be valleys without the mountain tops. You just have to keep moving forward ❤️

With love, Aleena”

My Learnings

I hear from my wife when she has had a bad day, week, or month that she doesn’t want to do much. It’s not easy for me to communicate with her because I tend not to get a response. I choose to make the decisions for her and nudge her to come with me to get out and avoid just sitting on the couch. I find it beneficial for her and it helps me to better understand her.

I’m still learning how to help her and handle these low points. My goal isn’t to make her happy instantly, but to make sure she knows that I am here. I try to make sure that she knows she is safe, loved, and things will get better. I have found some success in taking her out on a drive or to a park. Getting her mind off whatever she is thinking about and more into explaining and talking to me seems to help. It can be hard for her to talk, and hard for me to understand but it is beneficial for both of us.

Take time to listen. Take some mental notes and find some strategies to keep your spouse happy. Find what they need, which may not be what they want. Be patient, kind, and cautious. Use this time to learn about your spouse and do your best to be there to help them.

Drop Her Off

July 29, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I remember all the times that my now wife and I would go down to the lake or out to eat during college. We tried to spend time together at least 3 days per week, most of which involves having dinner at her parent’s house. Spending time together is fun, but it comes to an end as the sun goes down. The worst part for me during this dating phase in our relationship was taking her home afterward, just so that I could pick her up sometime the next day to spend time together again. This was our life during college before we got married. Separating yourself from your significant other for the night is not the easiest thing to do, or the most desirable, but plays a large role in the health of the relationship.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is a common phrase that pertains to this subject. When we are seeking someone to date or marry in our lives, it can be difficult to be apart. After all, we enjoy the company of the other person and creating memories with them. Most of the time we have similar interests as our significant other and like to do the same things. I have found myself doing activities alone that I feel I should be doing with my wife because she enjoys them as well. I don’t really like leaving her out of activities that I think are fun for both of us. As an example, I don’t usually ride my bike or use my kayak without her (unless she can’t go due to her busy schedule) because I know she enjoys the activities.

If we are always reliant on someone or something, it can be hard to tell exactly how much we like or depend on it. As an example, imagine a person has a cellphone with them for calls, messages, and maps. They always have their phone with them. Now, what if this person was in a town they don’t recognize and their phone battery dies. Now what? They are left with figuring out how to get home by themselves without the help of other people. They have no way to call and ask for help or use map programs. What will they do?

In reality they would probably just find someone and ask them to use their phone or ask directions. But what if the phone is someone we are dating and they leave the relationship? What if they are gone for a week without seeing you? It can be hard to tell how much we rely on a significant other without having space apart from them, whatever the length of time. If the relationship were to end, can we still make our way through life effectively? In the example with a person and their phone, if they have never learned to make it in life without it (or lost touch with being single), they could be lost for a long time.

Dating can be a difficult time. For some there is a lot of heartbreak and turmoil. Others, like myself, were fortunate enough to date younger and stick with the same lady until marriage.

Learn the “paper maps” of your relationship. It is good to help each other in relationships. Not all of us have strengths in every aspect, and your significant other should complement those weaknesses. That being said, we should be able to navigate all aspects of our lives without our significant other while dating. If your partner is gone on a trip or is going to relax with their friends, don’t set yourself up for failure by being overly dependent. It is good to rely on them for some things, but not everything. I like to think of my weaknesses as being the “paper map.” It still works, but it is harder for me to navigate. Her strengths that compliment my weaknesses could be referred to as the “GPS” maps. I can still operate and navigate life without a GPS, but the GPS improves the situation.

Continue your life, and add them to it. Not all aspects of our lives can be continued when we start dating. For example, if a person was going on dates with different people and finds one they have decided to date, it’s probably not in their best interest to keep dating other people. This is just one activity, but there are others. It would be awkward if the person decided that they still wanted to drive around in the car how they used to when they were single. Maybe in order to do this they told their significant other that they would need to drive themselves because they want to drive alone all the time. Probably not super productive for relational growth.

Another change would be going from spending all of our time with our friends, then spending no time with them because we are dating someone. This change would involve spending all of our free time with our significant other. If we spend 100% of our time with someone, it can get quite annoying. I am just going to say it. We don’t need to spend all of our time with someone in order to show them we care about them. It is good to spend a healthy amount of time with your significant other, and a healthy amount of time with your friends or alone. If you are prospecting marriage with your significant other, it would be good to figure out how much time to spend with them. Should I spend more time with them than my friends? From my perspective, we should make a significant other an addition to our lives to improve. These relationships should not hinder us.

Drop her off at the end of the day. I am a big advocate for waiting until marriage to move in together and become physically active. Is it easy? NO. It might be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship in today’s society. We have a lot of cultural and societal influences that try to persuade us away from this idea. Everything from TV shows, to books, to music tries to influence us against the idea of waiting until marriage. The rate of divorce is higher among people who cohabitate before marriage. What are some influences in living together that could result in a high divorce rate? I’m not really sure if there is a definitive answer. It seems to me that it could be the result of too much dependency and too much time together for their people to know whether they should get married or not. They could be stuck in an “infatuation” phase and are not able to move out of it due to decreased separation from each other. Spending all of this time together does not allow them to find what they need in life, and what their partner will do when they are apart. When the day together is over, it’s beneficial to be separated. It’s good to live apart and really find what it is you enjoy or are looking for in a person.

Public Parks

July 1, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Public parks are spread around the Toledo, Ohio area and provide small oases away from bustling city life. They are like pockets of space that we have allowed to grow into a more natural form, and allow us to gather the same feeling that we would get from venturing out of town. Most of the Metro Parks are wooded and have paths for walking, running, and biking. Benches are placed along the trails for people wanting a good vantage point to spot wildlife and relax outdoors. Occasionally we see wildlife in the areas. Deer, rabbits, and various birds are pretty common to see while moving through these peaceful parks.

A doe and her two fawns walking down a path.

My wife and I enjoy going to public parks to relax together. Walking on trails or riding bikes allows us to spend time together, and we usually have time to talk while doing so. Occasionally we take the time to sit on a bench and have a conversation, depending on how many bugs are swarming us. We also will go out together for dessert and stop at one of the local parks to sit and eat together. There are plenty of ice cream shops in the area offering a treat during hot weather.

Spending time walking in our public parks allows us to get to know each other more. We spend time chatting about current problems we are experiencing and whatever else is going on in our lives. I truly think that it offers us more good talks together than just sitting at home. Going out offers a change in scenery that makes us feel more free to discuss different topics.

A young deer feeding as we pass on a trail.

From what I have seen, it appears that when people get married they tend to slide into a lifestyle that does not include as much activity. That doesn’t mean that everyone does, but when people (like us) have the option we tend to be physically lazy. I know of a few couples around our age that are dating or have gotten married that have become more active, but I think that is more rare. My wife and I have been trying to be more active lately and walking/biking in public parks has been our main choice of exercise.

Tips for the reader.

Find an activity that allows you to learn about your significant other. We choose to go out and hike or walk in park because we have the opportunity to get to know each other more. The scenery is a nice addition, but the main point of the activity is to keep investing in each other.

Find your happy place. It’s beneficial for many reasons to find a spot that takes some stress out of your life. Medical school causes stress for spouses and students, and it’s good to keep it from spilling into other parts of your life.

Make the trip often. If you have time to get to a park or other location 3 times a week, do it. Get out and keep working on your relationship as much as you can. There won’t always be time for activities like this, so make the most of it.

4th Wedding Anniversary

June 17, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. We got married between our sophomore and junior year of undergrad, in 2016. It has been an awesome experience being married while in college, and I think we have been able to answer quite a few questions for other couples. We enjoy talking with couples that are looking at getting married or are dating while in college.

When your spouse is in medical school there are times that you have to squeeze fun activities into small windows. As an example, we chose to celebrate our anniversary together by going on a day trip. We also looked at the cost to stay somewhere, and decided that we could do a day trip and be satisfied with our time together.

We left our house and headed toward Cleveland, OH to visit Cuyahoga National Park. Neither of us had been there, and it seemed like it would be a nice place to visit together. The weather forecast was good, and walking on the trails and riding in the car together would give us a lot of time to talk to each other. We are both fairly busy, and getting busier, so we decided this would be a nice trip. Our goal for the trip was to get out in nature and spend time together. We don’t get to talk to each other enough, and this was a great opportunity to do so.

We were also able to drive around the Cleveland area to see what it has to offer. Cleveland is a potential residency location, so we decided to drive around the neighborhoods just to see what they looked like. We visited the West Side Market as well. It was a cool experience having vendors selling goods in a bustling building. I can see how it would be filled with people buying meats, vegetables, breads, and confections later in the summer. Due to COVID-19 limiting people in buildings, it was not too busy.

We ended up eating at a nearby restaurant for lunch, then headed to Brandywine Falls, our first stop on the trip. For me, this was the most memorable location. The view of the falls is calming, and I’m pretty sure it was my wife’s favorite.

We ended up not staying in the Cleveland area for dinner and headed home. This worked out well. We went to the store and bought crab legs and some bread and planned to have our Anniversary Feast at our house the next day. This also allowed us to save some money, and get to spend more time together.

Tips for the reader.

Value the little things. Every trip or vacation you take with your spouse doesn’t need to be extravagant. Making a day trip to a scenic location is simple and cheap. Spending time together getting to talk can help you deepen your relationship, and get to know each other more.

Support your spouse. Your relationship will be way better if you can support your spouse in their life goals. I am finding new ways all the time to support my wife. A recent one is finding ways to take day trips or go to parks. It really helps her keep her stress levels down.

Take a cheap trip. Trips don’t have to be expensive in order to be entertaining or fun. As an example, the parks we went to were free, our lunch was $15, and we spent about $20 on gas for the entire trip. Not too bad for visiting a new city and going on a new adventure together.

Third Year Start

June 10, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife it at the cusp of beginning her third year of medical school. She has kind of started already, but she is just doing an online class due to COVID-19 keeping most medical students out of hospitals. Soon she will be shadowing doctors in their workplace, experiencing more of what is like to be a doctor and less of a classroom setting. From my experience a classroom setting is good for building some background information, but it can’t totally educate a person on a task that will be performed. As an example, in the United States we typically don’t have children read a book on how to swim, then push them into a pool on their own expecting them to swim perfectly. It takes time and practice within the workforce to gain important skills that can’t be obtained within a classroom.

My wife signed up for a year long layout of clerkships. She will be watching (and hopefully assisting) doctors in field that in orthopedics, surgery, OB/GYN, family practitioners, and many more. This year looks like it will allow her to try a lot of different specialties, which should in turn help her pick what she would like to go into as her career.

A new experience. A lot of medical students have job shadowed before, but not on the level that they will embark during their third year of school during clerkships. Most of schooling that they have experienced has been classroom work, which makes this changeover a totally new experience. I view it as one of the most important steps in becoming a doctor. The students have the background information, now it is time to apply it and tie all of the information together.

Change in learning style. I have found that there are people that excel in classroom learning, and there are people who excel in hands-on learning. My wife happens to be someone who is very good at both. I know that she is better at classroom learning than me, and she loves hands-on learning. Being able to apply what we know is crucial as it is the way that we make it all useful.

Schedule changes. Now that she will be shadowing doctors in clerkships, she won’t be in a classroom daily. She will have to travel to the doctors work, a hospital or clinic, for learning. Not only will she have to drive to their location, she will be on their schedule. This can be a little bit sporadic, but the schedule should be fairly consistent. The schedule is dependent on what specialty she will be shadowing at the time.

My wife has done a lot of research to figure out exactly what she needs in order to be successful in the clerkships. She has done shopping for shoes and other clothes. A big portion of what she has been looking at lately is office supplies. Make sure that you never run out of pens or are unprepared to take notes. Another thing that she has been interested in is what to keep in your white coat on a daily basis. This includes everything from office supplies to snacks. There are times that she won’t be able to take a normal lunch or break, and it’s good to be prepared for those times.

Third year looks like it will be a good change from the first two years. It will allow the medical students to grow more and increase their abilities to have relation with patients. They also get to step into the life of practicing doctors, and learn from them directly.

Tips for the reader.

Research online. Looking at forums or other blog posts can help you find what you may need. Being prepared will make you more comfortable and confident.

Ask past third year students. Past students are a simple source to find out what you may need. They have been through it, and they can help you decipher between what you need, and what you don’t.

Do what makes you comfortable. Within reason, and any guidelines set forward by the program, do what makes you comfortable. If you are uncomfortable all the time, it will make it much harder to focus and do your best. This applies to everything from shoes to your hair style.

Passing Time

June 3, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Something that I think Americans are generally bad at is passing time while keeping themselves busy. I know that as I have gotten older the number of young kids that go outside to play has lessened. There are a lot more activities for them indoors within television and video games. I grew up with just the “farmer 5” tv stations and did not have internet at my house until I was about 15 years old. When I was bored, I went outside and got dirty. I played games like kickball, volleyball, and basketball. I constructed stuff out of wood that didn’t make any sense, and I built stuff out of LEGO’s. There seems to be a disconnect with people today in all of these activities.

Being patient is one of the hardest things that we can do, and it shows. Most of us are terrible at being patient. There are events in life, big or small, that will make us wait. We are trained from a young age that we don’t need to wait for anything here in the US. We have fast food, fast internet, immediate results on tests, and much more. Our culture is fast paced and it can be a challenge to be patient.

My wife spends a lot of time studying, and I have found that passing time is easiest if my mind is busy. Keeping myself busy is not an easy task, there are a lot of times where I just want to do nothing but sit and watch tv. It can be a challenge to get up and get something done when I don’t have to. The motivation to keep busy mostly just my wanting. I want to build projects, hunt, fish, home remodeling, and work on cars. I don’t have to do any of those things.

Food. We have plenty of money to buy our food. I don’t need to hunt and fish in order for us to survive, but I want to do these things for the challenge. I enjoy the reward that come with these kinds of activities. If you were to go ask hunters the main reasons while they hunt, a lot of them will say that it is for the food, fun, and the challenge. In my opinion, stating that you hunt and fish for food is the most “politically correct” statement. The other reasons have to accompany the food aspect otherwise it is much more difficult to want to do it. If you’re not having fun, it may not be for you.

Construction. I have been remodeling our basement at our house. I could pay someone to do the work for me, it would make it faster. I do the work myself because I have time and need something to do after work. Some other benefits are we get to have a layout that fits our needs. We also get to make it our space and have the pride of doing the work ourselves.

Auto work. I don’t need to work on my car and perform my own maintenance. For me, if I don’t do it I feel lazy. I have the ability and the time, so why not. I also gain the experience and am more in tune with the stuff that I own.

Exercise. Now that the weather is warm I have been looking to get back into riding my bike. My wife and I like to take strolls in the metro parks when she is available. Otherwise, I take my bike to parks or ride through town when the weather is good. Not only does this provide some exercise, but it allows me to have more time to think.

TV. Definitely something that I think we should give ourselves in moderation. Most of what I watch on TV is not cable or any network of television stations. I usually stick to online video services and watch tv show episodes or movies that I haven’t seen in a while. Along with this, video games should be played in moderation. They are certainly fun, but a lot of it can drive a person into a hole of solitude. It can be a little bit hard to have friends or get out of the house if I’m sitting on the couch watching tv or playing video games for hours.

There are a lot more things that people can and should be doing to occupy their time. It is important to me to try to be productive, though it doesn’t always happen. So try to get out and find something new, or find a group of people that are doing what you want to try.

Sharing a Meal

May 27, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Living in a house has given my wife and I a huge opportunity to share with others. We have had the ability to host as many as 20 medical students at our house for various reasons, feeding them on multiple occasions.

Most of the medical students live in apartments or live in a house with multiple people. Due to this, most of them do not have a lot of space for hosting or inviting people over. I am not saying this is a bad thing. I fully support and want medical students to do what they can to save money. There is a lot of debt accumulation in the medical student community and it’s best to find ways to keep it down.

When my wife and I invite people over we try to prepare meals that are good for lot of people. Occasionally we make burgers or hot dogs, but usually stick to meals like pulled pork. I enjoy smoking meat, and it’s nice to be able to cook for a lot of people. I can usually put in the meat before I go to work, and when I return is it about done. This is very convenient for me, and it is usually best to do something easy. Something else we also do is encourage the attendees to bring items like sides or drinks. I find that this allows people to feel like they are contributing and are not just taking.

A free meal. Inviting people to our home allows us to host for people. We are able to provide food to medical students which can cut a little bit off their food budget. Now, I understand that it isn’t much, but $5 is $5. Not only that, but it may be one of the only recent times they have had a good home cooked meal.

Fellowship in conversation. Meeting together over a meal allows everyone to talk and allows people to feel more relaxed when in conversation. I have found that people talk about different topics when it is over food. Medical students tend not to share hardships or ways that they have overcome them during medical school. I’m not exactly sure why they avoid these topics. It seems to help them all collectively if they talk about these issues and how they have overcome obstacles.

Don’t worry about the cost. I have hosted a lot of people, on a lot of occasions, and I have intentionally never asked anyone to pitch in cash. I find that it gets in the way of everyone having a good time to ask people for money. Also, why would I ask people to come over so that they can pay for food? I find it best to pick something that I am going to make that I can afford, then give them the option of bringing extras.

As a closing thought, I find it important that my medical school friends know that my house is open to them. If they need somewhere to go for any reason they are welcome to stop in. I have actually had quite a few occurrences where med students stop by and stay for dinner. Medical school can create a lot of isolation. By allowing people to come over whenever they want I think I can lessen this for a lot of them. Food draws people together and has a big impact in relationships with people. I encourage you to partake in these types of events if you can find them.

Some tips for the reader.

If you are invited, consider attending. If you are a medical student really try to keep from isolating yourself for extended periods of time. It is already a time where people are working on their own and it is beneficial to get out once in a while.

If you’re hosting, do something simple. Whether you make hot dogs, burgers, or swing through a restaurant, make it simple. It’s better to have time to spend with everyone than be working through their visit to prepare a 5 course meal.

Steer conversation away from medicine. I understand that most everything in a medical students life is medicine, but it’s good to stay in touch with their personal lives. I like to figure out what hobbies people enjoy and go from there.

Anxious Thoughts

May 20, 2020 / Jacob Brown

From being immersed in the medical student culture for almost 2 years now I have noticed a huge amount of anxiety among the students. Most of them seem to be fairly anxious about everyday tasks, but they really seem to get anxious when they are approaching a big test date or a large event. I think everyone gets anxious at times, and it’s good to now how to handle that anxiety.

My wife is a planner. She enjoys figuring out the logistics of every day, and trying to stick to it. Planning out when and how she will accomplish tasks helps her to keep her day and mind organized. On the downside, when there are changes that don’t follow this plan she has a hard time coping. There are not a lot of things that we can control in life, which makes it harder for people that are planners. So when small things change in a daily schedule, it tends to add stress to her day.

Lately she has been studying for Step 1 amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Her studying was put to a halt by the fact that her exam has now moved to October. She has had a lot of stress relief knowing that there is a set date again. Before it was changed to October the date moved 3 times. All of the students had been studying more than 10+ weeks for a test that was only intended to have 5-6 weeks of study time. Some students were able to take their exam in Mid-May, but the seats available were limited.

With speaking with my wife I have found that there are a couple things that make medical students more anxious. This is not an all inclusive list, but it is some of the high points that I have found are common.

An unknown future. Being out of control never fun. There is a certain amount of unknown that comes with not being at the helm to steer the ship. This is a very prevalent in medical school in general, but most of the unknowns seem to occur in the last 2 years of medical school. The first big unknown for my wife has been trying to take her Step 1 exam. The Step 1 exam in general is a big unknown. The whole future of what field of medicine the student can go into is determined by this one exam. Students spend weeks studying and in the end, can achieve a score that is too low for the specialty they want to partake in. Another big unknown, that we have not reached yet, is matching with a residency program.

Important dates changing. All of the COVID-19 madness in the United States has created a lot of uncertainty for my wife. One major change has been the date for her Step 1 exam keeps getting pushed back. She was originally scheduled to take it in May of 2020, but she is now schedule to take it in October of 2020. Hopefully the date will not change again. Another major change has been the class scheduling. The medical school has been forced the shorten their rotations in order to fit all of it in the school year. The end of the school year has to be the same as they can not delay this year and just keep delaying.

Important test dates approaching. Finishing classes and starting new ones seems to put people on edge. After all, each student has a lot riding on this short 4 year journey through medical school. Tests stress people out partly because of the unknown. The student doesn’t know what the questions will be, how it will be graded, or whether or not they did a good job. It can be hard to relax and do the best job possible.

Long sessions of study. Long sessions is referring to days, not necessarily hours in a day. For example, studying for 5 days in a row without getting to have a break. This is very common for medical students as they have a lot of big exams. Having long periods of time without a break or relaxation period accumulates stress that lead sit anxiety.

Tips for the reader.

Don’t try to sleep with your mind running. Something good is to try to prevent all of the stress and worry in life from becoming anxiety. Something important for me is to resolve issues as quickly as possible, and try not to let them carry over into the next day. I find that this helps me sleep well, and not stress over work. If I can resolve these issues, I won’t be thinking about them, and in turn will allow myself to relax.

Plan for the best and expect the worst. It can be hard to have plans change, but when they do, you need to be agile enough to take another approach. Sometimes the many changes in life require us to have a backup plan. For everything with your education (and most of life) have a backup plan. It can take a lot of pressure off when things change.

Talk to others. If you are having a hard time with stress or a situation, you are not alone. There are many others who are going through the same situation as you, and they might be able to help. Never think you are alone in what is going on, because you’re not.

Find ways to take short breaks often. My wife has had success with taking short breaks to relieve some stress when possible. Working for a few hours and scheduling lunch or a 15-30 minute activity session is a good start.