Now that my wife is in medical school we have really grown to appreciate the time that we have together. With free time being limited, we have to make choices on what we want to do together in advance. Now, not everything that we decide to do together is super extravagant, or extremely time consuming, but it doesn’t need to be. We have found that it is fun to do bigger things together, but we get more quality time together when we are laid back.
There are a lot of reasons that we don’t get to spend as much time with each other as we would like. We have found that most of the reasons we do not get to spend time together are good reasons. We have things going on in our lives and can’t always put them on hold. I have put together a list of some reasons, and whether or not I think they are legitimate reasons for not making time together. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them eat up time.
We don’t get to spend as much time together because I have to:
Work at my job. This is a good thing. It is good to have time away from each other because it helps us find ourselves. I work from 6:30-5pm on weekdays so that we have income, which is kind of important.
Mow the lawn. When living in a house with a yard this is inevitable. At some point the grass will have to be cut, the question is by who. I could pay someone to come to my house and mow my yard (which takes about 15-20 minutes) or I can just do it myself.
Work on house projects. I do a fairly significant amount of work on our house to maintain it and increase the functionality and appearance. Some of the work is a requirement, but some of it is additional tasks that I have chosen to do. Lately, I have been remodeling our basement to bring it a little bit more up to date. This is not a requirement. There was nothing in the basement of our house that was damaging or going to cause major problems.
Watch tv and play on my phone. This is something that I think is the least beneficial to our relationship. That being said, watching tv and playing on my phone has a time and place. There are times where my wife is busy with school, and I have completed everything else on my to-do list.
We don’t get to spend as much time together because my wife has to:
Study for class. This is a legitimate reason not to spend time together. This is the reason we moved and are doing what we do. She needs time to study without me needing to bother her.
Attending class or other learning centers. This is another big reason we don’t get to spend time together. I am not upset about either of these reasons because this is why we are here. I want her to excel as much as she can, and that can only be done by attending school and doing her best.
There are some different chores or tasks that we try to work on together that gives us more time. Some of them are washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. Not only do we get to spend time doing these, they go faster. When we help each other it opens up both of ours time so that we can do more together.
Biggest tip for the reader.
If your spouse is busy, be busy too. If your spouse is working and has a time that they will be done. Try to get your work done at the same time. Don’t push off working on projects, chores, or work. If you can get everything done while they are working, you will have a nice window to spend time together. It’s not super fun to have one person done with what they are working on while the other person still have an hour of work to complete because they were watching tv. I have experienced this (and still do).