My wife is a planner which is useful in so many ways. We have a lot of commitments and it helps to have a plan set forward before embarking on new adventures. Planning for different life events has helped us avoid being unprepared and see potential failures. I enjoy planning some things in life but prefer to go with the flow in most circumstances. Many people prefer to make plans, which are often shifted, and I thought it would be worth discussing how I practice staying relaxed, accepting outcomes, and rolling with the punches. So, when life doesn’t follow my plan how do I deal with the changes?
My Plan of Attack
I tend to follow a process to handle situations where changes occur. My way of handling these changes isn’t perfect, but it works well for most situations. I have broken it out into the following 5 steps.
- Look at the situation as a whole picture.
- Determine the severity of the situation.
- Find the problem.
- Plan steps to solve the problem.
- Execute the original or new goal.
A Scenario
Let’s say I am planning to purchase a used car from a local dealership. I own a good driving vehicle but am looking for an upgrade. I search online and find a model of vehicle that I like and spend an extensive amount of time studying. I have looked at lots of reviews and find that this vehicle fits my needs and would make a great long term buy. I look at some local dealerships for a few weeks and notice that a new listing has been posted for the vehicle of my interest. I also notice that there are a few listing further away in some nearby towns.
On a Saturday, the only day I am free, I go on a test drive in the vehicle and discover that it has some minor issues, but is still in excellent condition. All-in-all it seems like a great vehicle, listed at a perfect price point for my budget.
After my test drive I arrive back at the dealership to discuss purchasing with a salesperson. I inform them that I should be able to make a decision soon but would like to look around more at other options. They are left with my phone number, and I tell them I could be back in 1 week to make the purchase.
Before I have time to return, I receive a call from the dealership that the vehicle has sold.
A Distant Analysis
Looking at the situation from a distance I see the following facts.
- There was a local vehicle for sale.
- I know the model of vehicle I want.
- I know the price I want to pay.
- I liked how the vehicle drove.
- I know what price people will pay.
- It sold quickly.
A Calculated Severity
In this situation I would look at the repercussions from missing out on purchasing this vehicle.
- I didn’t make the purchase and have to continue driving my current vehicle.
- I may end up having to pay more and potentially less for a similar vehicle.
- I get to keep my money a little longer.
- I have more time to branch out my search.
Looking at the list above, missing out on purchasing this vehicle will not have harsh repercussions. I still have my good running car to fall back on and have learned more information on the process of purchasing a used car. I liked that vehicle, but there are others ones that are for sale. If I were to have made this purchase, which is the first that came available, I would not know what else is out there.
Snoop Around
I find it productive to look at why I was not able to purchase that vehicle.
I was not ready to make the purchase at the time of the test drive and decided to wait. I have given an opportunity for someone else to swoop in and make the purchase. I should consider being prepared to make the purchase upon visiting the dealership to lessen my chances of this happening again.
I’ve got (another) Plan!
In this scenario, I have no other choice but to create a new plan. The vehicle that I was interested in purchasing sold to someone else, so it is not available for me.
The new plan is to find another vehicle for sale and put in the work to make the purchase.
Pressing On
In this step I should be putting in the work to find another vehicle for sale. This requires me putting in the work to search dealerships, private sellers, and possibly a larger radius to find the vehicle for me. I can push forward using the previous experience to guide me on my future decisions.
Some new things that I have learned is that I should be ready to buy upon inspecting the vehicle. If I go in unprepared for purchase, there is a chance I can lose the opportunity again.
Understanding the Situation
It is said a lot, but try try again. Being optimistic and looking at the situation from a positive perspective makes a huge difference. When I fail, or feel as if I have failed, I prefer to look at the situation as maybe I avoided some sort of issue. Was I supposed to succeed? Was my blocked path actually protecting me?
Maybe the vehicle I was trying to purchase had a lot of issues. That vehicle may have had engine or transmission problems, which would have resulted in expensive repairs. Maybe the vehicle would only last me a year or two before breaking down. It’s hard to tell, but like I said, I prefer to think of blocked life paths in this way. Due to the fact that I didn’t make the purchase, I won’t know the end result for the vehicle. But I choose to think that maybe I wasn’t supposed to go down that path. Maybe the path that I missed out on wasn’t the path for me, and my next path could be better. Not every path with challenges is a path worth losing, but it is hard to tell when that is the case. There are times when putting in the work to go down the path becomes too much.
In my scenario, I could have tried to find out who bought the vehicle. I could have them tracked them down and made them an offer. Would this be wise? I’m probably going to end up spending a lot more money than if I went out and found a different vehicle. There are times in life where we may need to do this, but it is hard to tell when it is what we should do.
A Final Thought
When looking back at the scenario above, put something from your life as the vehicle that was sold before you could buy it. Maybe your road block is a job you wanted, a car, a relationship, or a life event. It’s hard to come back from some of our failures or losses, but we can learn from them. We may not get what we want, but I believe we are pushed down paths for what we need.
I believe that we are led paths for certain reasons in our lives. There is a path we are made to go on and it tends to be a path we don’t understand. It tends to be a path that if we knew before hand, we would be too scared to go down. We would more than likely feel like quitting or seeking a new path due to what we see ahead.
This is also why I tend not to worry about what’s ahead, and try to view new challenges as something that builds us up stronger than before. That doesn’t mean that I don’t worry or get nervous, because I do. We can learn from the blocked paths and lost ventures, using that information to progress on our next attempt a little further.
Habakkuk Chapter 1