Category: Year 3 (Page 1 of 2)

The Great Anticipation for a Match

March 24, 2021 / Jacob Brown

Every year thousands of graduate students pursuing medical degrees wait for a day deemed as “Match Day.” On this day rides the opportunity to hear their next steps in their educational journey. Medical students are required to complete Medical School, then go on their way into a residency program where they learn more within a specialty. This is the time in their learning where they receive specific training and enter their desired field, which includes their first paycheck. Contained within this sweet bonus package is the right to be called by the prefix Dr. For most of the students, this is a time of excitement that is closely followed by an excess of stress.

The Match

Preceding the famed “Match Day”, is a day where all of the students receive notification that they did, or did not, match with a residency program. This year the students found out on Monday March 15. The fashion in which match day operates seems to be a good process. The students find out if they have matched with a residency program before gathering and opening a letter on match day. If they were to put it all into one ceremony, I can imagine there would be a lot of tears amongst the joy. There would be people that did not match (which happens) trying not to be sad while their colleagues are looking at a piece of paper stating they got what they wanted. The letter that they open on match day states where and what program has accepted them.

The day that the medical students find out IF they matched seems to be much more stressful than WHERE they matched. For us normal people, this is like hearing whether for not we have landed a job. Residency is a paid internship. To set the scene, lets imagine that we went on 10 job interviews at different companies. After completing the interviews, we get an anonymous email saying that we have landed a job, but we have to wait until Friday to learn which one. On one hand, we learned that we have gotten a job which is exciting! The only catch is that we don’t know which job (what our job will be or where). I do not know a lot about the specifics of what happens when students don’t match, but it can be a tough situation.

Match Day

The infamous Match day is when the medical students are assigned where and what job (internship) they have landed after graduation. This is an extremely exciting time for them as they are becoming doctors! From what I understand, traditionally all of the medical students that have matched with a program meet for “Match Day.” The students gather together in an event hall to open their letters with their invited family members and fellow students. This is especially exciting because they have been waiting for a few days to hear where they will be going for the next 3-7 years (may not be exactly that depending on their specialty). The full ceremony did not happen this year due to COVID-19 restrictions. Some of my friends that are in their 4th year were able to video call their parents to share the moment of opening their letter.

The Importance

From my perspective, Match Day signifies everything that the medical students have been working for in the past 4 years. All of the blood, sweat, and tears that have been shed are now paying off. When they take the next steps of their journey they will now have acquired the prefix Dr. More importantly, they will finally get paid for their hard work! Medical school is not quite complete at match day, but they are practically standing at the finish line. When my wife has match day, she will still have a couple weeks remaining in 4th year to complete.

Taking the next step in the process of becoming a practicing doctor will be a relief. To remind you (the reader) most of the medical students are 26+ years old and will finally have their first job! I have talked to quite a few medical students that have stressed to me their longing to finally get a paycheck and have a job. Residency also allows the students to take more next-steps in life. One of the biggest advantages of residency that I have witnessed for residents (medical students in residency) is their ability to spend and invest money. Advancing to a resident allows them to make large purchases like property and houses. I know a few people that have been able to purchase a home now that they are out of medical school.

It’s not an easy road making it to Match Day, but it is so rewarding. I am excited for next year when my wife and I get to experience it ourselves. We don’t know where we will be going, but we will go together. We will finally reach the next hurdle on the adventure for her to become Dr. Aleena Brown. Stay tuned!

Making a HUGE life decision!

March 10, 2021 / Jacob Brown

There comes a time in nearly everyone’s life where they have to make the decision on what they are going to pursue doing for a living. For most this occurs at the completion of high school, undergrad or graduate school. Not everyone makes a long term choice on the first attempt either, sometimes it’s not than easy to find what we want to do the rest of our lives.

For those pursuing an M.D. degree like my wife, a big decision has to be made around the completion of the third year of medical school. This time of their educational career pushes them to pick what specialty they will pursue. There are many specialties within the medical field and one must be chosen for residency. My wife was torn for a long time on what she would pursue.

After looking at many different specialties and experiencing these doctors’ daily operation, my wife has chosen OB/GYN. It appears to be the best mix of surgery and patient contact. My wife enjoys getting to talk with patients building a relationship with them. A lot of the dedicated surgery specialties have little time talking with patients and this is important to her. Family medicine has a lot of contact with patients getting to know them, but my wife would prefer to have a surgery aspect to her career.

So, how did she make the decision? What were some things that she considered when making this decision?

The (almost) Doctor’s Thoughts

Hi! So, when I first started medical school I thought I wanted to go into general surgery. I loved the idea of operating and being able to use my hands to fix a problem. I loved anatomy and wanted to spend every day getting to use that knowledge. I didn’t think I wanted long term patient continuity and I wasn’t sure about long clinic days.

The summer between M1 and M2 year, I did an anatomy elective that allowed me to focus on the female reproductive system. I was able to do my own dissection and learn about some common procedures. I fell in love with the pelvic anatomy. From there I started doing some more research. A not so secret secret: OB/GYNs are amazing surgeons! M2 year brought lectures and book work on the reproductive system and I came out of that class with a pretty good idea that this was the right field. But first, I needed to experience it in real life.

Some of my thoughts changed when I got into third year. I wanted to find a specialty where I could use my full potential. I wanted it to fit my personality. I wanted it to fit with my goals outside of medicine. Jacob and I started talking more about the life we wanted to have outside of medical school and residency. What were the goals we wanted for our life? For our family? That’s when I knew I needed to find a specialty that would also be supportive of my life outside of medicine.

As I went through each rotation I talked with the physicians about their lives, why they chose that field, and the highs and lows of that specialty. I crossed off some specialties right away. I didn’t want a lot of down time. I get bored a little too easily. I didn’t want super sick patients. Intensive care is a little too sad and frustrating. I liked kids, but I didn’t want to only take care of kids. By Christmas, I knew that I was between General Surgery and OB/GYN. I decided OB/GYN was the best option after my clerkship in January. The residents and attendings love their work and are happy even during the long hours. On service, I saw women in all stages of life supporting each other as they learn to become the best physicians they can be. The combination of surgery and clinic keeps the days interesting. I love that I will be able to care for women throughout their lives and be with them for some very important occasions. This specialty will allow Jacob and I to move back to a more rural community and fits well with our vision of the future.

Final Thoughts

Making big life decisions is hard. It causes a lot of stress and worry which makes the process difficult. I have found through our processes that considering the following can guide us on our path.

What is the most valuable thing in my life?
Is this decision the biggest thing in my life?
If I were not to proceed with this decision, would I still feel satisfied in life?
What steps can I take to eliminate other options?
When it comes to careers, if I were to lose this opportunity, what else do I still have?
How can this career help me achieve my life goals?
Will my life goals be blocked by choosing this career?
Will my job choice influence my family life positively?
How can I have a career and a family?
Does one choice offer better benefits?
Do I feel that one will be a career and one a job?

Failure – Let’s Talk About It.

January 20, 2021 / Aleena Brown

What if we talked about our failures.

What if we posted about them as much as our successes. What if you posted that picture where your makeup isn’t done… your hair isn’t styled. What if we could be a little more real with each other.

I had a conversation with a friend recently. We aren’t super close, but I try to be a person who will listen to anyone who needs a safe place.

I had chosen to sit by the windows for lunch. Seeing the trees outside keeps me calm in the craziness of the hospital. I could tell this student was a little flustered. I offered them a seat and to eat with me. They sat down and started talking. We talked about all sorts of stuff. The rotation we were on, what we were doing next. We talked about hobbies, specifically photography, and what we did in our little free time. We talked about the future. I talked about staying in the area. They talked about the uncertainty and deciding where to go next.

And then we talked about our worries. It doesn’t take long for medical students to talk about anxieties, stress, and worries. Between tests, assignments, evaluations, and applying for residency in the fall, there is a lot going on.

And then we talked about Step 1. I know I’ve talked about it before, but please hear me when I say that every single medical student deals with anxiety, stress, uncertainty, fear, and worry when it comes to this exam.

In the moment, I decided to be honest. Be real.

I told my colleague about my struggles with the exam. I told them about my burn out. I told them about being sick. I told them about the failed practice exams. I told them about the stress. And worry. And fear. And feeling inadequate. Feeling like a complete imposter. I told them that I went into that test ready to conquer it, but wondering if I could do it. If I would actually pass and get a score that would be enough to move forward. I used every last bit of fire left in me to pass that exam. But found myself coming up with plans B, C, D, E, and F if things turned out to be on the wrong side of the passing line (and my own line of what was acceptable).

And I passed. It worked out. Was it a happy ending? I guess it depends on your definition.

In the moment, I saw their shoulders drop just a little from their ears. I saw them relax just a little bit. A little bit of relief to hear that someone else had struggles. Someone else had worried and feared for the result and it turned out okay. And they mentioned it was good to hear about a journey that wasn’t all rainbows and perfect scores. I just kinda chuckled and realized most of us don’t have that journey. Let’s be honest, life isn’t all rainbows, pots of gold, or mountain tops. Life isn’t 100%s and 280 step scores. I’m so proud of my classmates who reached those high scores, but I’m also so so proud of my classmates who passed that exam! Who came out of there a little nervous and passed! Maybe just on the other side of that line. That is something to celebrate.

Why are we so hesitant to be real? To be honest? Why does it take so much effort and courage to talk about our actual life?

I realized a few years back that it was important for me to be open and honest with others. Our experiences can be helpful to those we cross paths with. We might not be walking on the exact same path, but we can still encounter the same obstacles. Your story could be the very thing your friends need to hear to know that they are not alone and they will make it. A simple conversation about the obstacles we face could be a turning point for those having lunch with us. It can bring hope and ease fears. Your story reminds others that they are not alone and someone else has been through this and survived.

What if we were more bold? More courageous? What if we took a leap of faith and were vulnerable? What if we could make an impact in only 20 minutes during lunch? What if we could bring some hope and light by saying “I’ve been there.”

And those conversations are amazing! To watch this person across from you realize that someone else understands. There’s a joy that comes with these conversations.

Life isn’t going to be all rainbows, pots of gold, and mountain tops. Let’s be real. Let’s meet others in the rain and in the valley. I see you. I’ve been there. Want a hand? It works out.

I Will Rise

November 29, 2020 / Aleena Brown

My mom gave me a gift this weekend while I was with her for thanksgiving. I’m pretty sure it was meant as a Christmas gift, but she got it in the mail the day after thanksgiving while I was still visiting. She handed me this small brown box and said, “when I saw these I knew you needed to hear them”.

Inside the box, I found two necklaces. They were simple gold pendants with a card behind each of them. This is what the card said.

I WILL RISE

In this hard season, she will conquer the mountain. She is steadying herself and leaning into His grace. And with each step forward she will whisper to herself, “I will rise.”

I turned the card over and found a

Bible verse that was new to me.

Ezra 10:4

Rise up. This matter is in your hands. We will support you. So take courage and do it.

A few weeks ago I wrote about depression. About finding yourself in the “dark and twisty” place. Sitting in the valley. And I told myself, and wrote to you all, that you just have to keep moving forward. But.. I forgot a step. Sometimes in those times, we may no longer be standing. Maybe we are sitting in the valley. Maybe we are lying down in those low spots.

Before we move forward, we need to rise up. (Like it’s easy or something.) I’m sure many of you know how hard that first move is. To rise up. But listen here, it says “Rise up… we will support you.” Do you see that? These things may be in your hands but we WILL support you.

And that’s what my mom wanted me to see, wanted me to hear. Rise up! We will support you. Those times can feel so lonely, but look up and look around, reach out. We will support you. I will support you.

I know thanksgiving looked different for most of us this year. I know many traditions had to be put on pause. And as we look toward Christmas, I hope we can find joy, hope, and thankfulness for what we have and the wonderful things ahead of us.

The “Dark and Twisty” Place

November 13, 2020 / Aleena Brown

This is Important. Pay Attention.

What does depression look like to you?

I want to be honest. Like really honest. My Facebook timeline and Instagram feed are full of happy pictures. Smiles and love. Family and friends. Next steps in my medical school journey. Memories of good times. That’s all great and life is full of wonderful moments…

But.

Life also has valleys. Times of sadness, anger, frustration, worry, and fear.

And when I find myself in those valleys, they just seem a little deeper and a little darker than others.

“Aleena, why are you sad?” … I don’t know.

“Aleena, why are you mad?” … I don’t know.

“Aleena, let’s go out” … maybe another time.

“Why aren’t you reading?” … I don’t want to.

“Why don’t you take pictures?” … I don’t have the energy.

“Let’s take a walk.” … I don’t know if I can move.

“Well if you don’t know, then why stay sad? Why stay angry? Why worry?”

…

I don’t know.

And I’m being honest. I don’t have an answer for these questions.

Please know I know that God has a plan for me. Please know that I know that there is good all around me. Please know I know it doesn’t help to focus on the negative. Please know I know it’s not productive to worry. Please know I know my God is in control. Because I know all this. It doesn’t change the fact that the valley is still deep and dark and it will take me time to climb out of it.

I’m so excited for each new rotation. I’m so excited to pick my specialty. I’m so excited to be an aunt. I’m so excited for the holidays. I’m so excited for Jacob and I’s next steps. I’m so excited for our future, my future.

I know things will get better, but right now, it’s about surviving. And surviving is enough. Surviving is good. Surviving is the first part of climbing out.

Please don’t worry or freak out. I’m okay. I am loved and taken care of. As my husband told me today, I have an army behind me ready to help and I am thankful for every single one of them.

So. If you happen to find yourself in the deep, dark valleys… I see you. I understand.

And I’m here. For the car rides. For the coffees. For the smoothies. For the silence. I’m here. And we survive together. We climb out together.

This year has been tough on all of us. Check in on each other. Realize that sometimes words can’t describe how someone is feeling. Just be there. That’s enough. And remember, valleys can’t be valleys without the mountain tops. You just have to keep moving forward.

A Good Night’s Sleep

November 4, 2020 / Jacob Brown

With all the stress and strain in a medical student lives, it can be difficult to have a good night’s sleep. We have a lot going on, especially with school or work, and it can be hard to quiet our minds enough to rest. This is something that seems to vary depending on what rotation my wife is in, and how strenuous the work.

Personally, I don’t usually have many issues falling and staying asleep. I tend to rest my head upon my pillow, and be asleep within 10 minutes. I tend to take some time to reflect on my day and relax before heading to bed as well. I may be a weirdo, but I prefer to shower before bed, and not in the morning. It seems that a lot of people I have met prefer to shower in the morning because it wakes them up and preps them for the day. I have noticed that it has been a bad idea to fall asleep on the couch, then take a shower and try to fall asleep in bed. This tends to result in a long period of time awake staring at the inside of my eyelids. It must be that I was asleep, then interrupted it and tried again. I prefer to prep for bed about 30-60 minutes before I want to fall asleep. This gives time for my body and mind to slow down, and my nightly routine not to interfere with my sleeping schedule. This doesn’t always pan out when I am working on projects, but I try to stick to it.

I try to stay on a nightly schedule to create some consistency to my day. I like to set alarms for things that I need to do so that I don’t get too caught up in my work. This helps to get started on my routine so I’m not late to bed late. This is something that my friends have noticed and choose to point out every time my alarms go off. They mean well, and I also think it’s funny that they know my alarms as well as I do. I try to use my schedule to influence my wife as well, pointing out when it is time for her to stop working or watching TV so we can get to bed.

My wife’s experience with good sleep is a different story than mine. She tends to have some issue falling asleep, and it seems a majority of the reason is due to her high brain activity when climbing in bed. She uses her brain so much during the day that it can’t tell when the day is over. This causes her to have a hard time getting her mind to stop running. This seems to be a common issue among people that live busy and hectic lives. It can be hard for her to slow what she is doing and let herself relax.

Some things that she does to relax may be taking a walk, reading a book, or listening to music. I’m not sure how positively influential smart phones are on our sleep habits, but it seems best not to play on them while in bed. She tends to need more time to relax before falling asleep when doing so. It seems to be more important what time she gets in bed, and not as much how long it takes to fall asleep. As an example, if it takes 30 minutes to fall asleep but she gets in bed at 8:00 pm, it’s not a big deal. If instead of 8:00 pm it were 11:00 pm, that’s different and not going to be beneficial. Not everyone can fall asleep right when their head hits the pillow, which is okay. It can be beneficial to find ways to relax and prep for bed so that you can rest properly. If you can find what makes you tired, maybe you can get adequate sleep.

Some Sleep Influences

Following is a list of influences that I have noticed affect my wife’s sleep. They don’t cause her issues every night, but they do on occasion. It can be hard to stick to healthy living and a schedule, especially with how busy our lives have been during medical school.

Stress from working in the hospital. Patient stress and stress caused by the environment.
Continuous thoughts about tomorrow. Not only negative thoughts, but positive thoughts as well.
Poor diet, especially in the evening. This is usually remedied by having a good meal early in the evening.
Tense muscles, this is usually remedied by a massage. This is a continuous issue. This tends to make her toss and turn a lot, which interrupts sleep.
Brain seems tired but body is not. This seems to be common as well, especially when she spends a lot of time studying and not moving.

Getting good sleep can be difficult when your days are stressed. It seems that if a person did a bunch of things in a day, it would cause them to be tired enough to fall asleep. This doesn’t seem to be the case. Proper sleep can make your days much more productive and enjoyable. Hopefully you can find some productive, healthy, and beneficial outlets for stress and worry to allow yourself to get proper rest.

The First AHEC

October 14, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Being away from your spouse can be hard. After being married for a few years people tend to grow accustomed to being around their loved one and living a certain lifestyle. My wife and I are experiencing this for sure now that she is learning at a location too far to commute.

AHECs (Area Health Education Centers) allow the medical students to learn from different doctors in different locations. The students are able to find locations that they may want to participate. There are a lot of these programs available, so keep an eye out. Some of these locations are rural, which is where my wife is currently stationed. She is currently staying in a small hotel that is provided by the school. It is nice that we don’t have to directly pay for her to stay at a new location as it is worked into the tuition fees. Paying for her to stay in another city for a week and a half could be pretty expensive for us as well. She is at a small town near Willard, OH working one-on-one with a physician. This doctor works in the internal medicine field at a clinic and is also a hospitalist at a nearby hospital.

Being apart from each other is something that my wife and I have not had to experience regularly. It can be difficult not having dinner together, preparing for bed, or waking up next to each other. This is something that we have grown accustomed to, but we can still be in communication with each other even when at a distance. We have some of the greatest inventions of our time for communication including video chatting. It is nice to be able to see the face of our loved one as we have a conversation and can really help lift them up if they are down.

There are some things that my wife and I are doing to help her keep motivated and more comfortable. My wife took her pillow, which might seem weird, but being able to have a similarity in your bed can help sleep better. She took different snacks and food for breakfast so that she doesn’t have to rush in the morning. These are also the items that she usually enjoys. She drove a new vehicle, which should be more reliable and make her feel more comfortable making commutes.

We have to see the benefits of these kinds of situations.

New medical field experiences.
Experience new medical procedures.
Build independence.
Get your name out there.

It is a new experience, which can make it scary or discomforting. You might be in a hotel that doesn’t meet your standards or have to drive further than you want. This experience will help you learn to fend for yourself and become a better physician.

Keep In Mind

You are going to have new experiences. This is a new situation, so make the most of it. Be prepared (clothes and supplies) for the clinic or hospital in which you are working.

Do what you can to avoid becoming lonely. When you get home from work you may be alone, which will make it different than normal. My wife is used to me being there, and I need to make sure that she feels I am still invested.

Relax and have fun. You are going to experience some new people and procedures.

Step 1: Test Day

October 5, 2020 / Jacob Brown

The road to taking the Step 1 exam has been long. The Step 1 exam is the test that pushes students into different specialties for residency. Depending on the score that the student achieves, they can only go into certain specialties. Based on this information, it’s pretty easy to see why a medical student could get stressed out. It may also be my wife’s biggest challenge to this point in medical school. She takes the Step 1 exam tomorrow, October 8. She has worked so hard for this and I believe will do an amazing job.

She has been studying (this time) for a little over 3 weeks. The last time she attempted to take the exam before it was cancelled due to COVID-19, she studied for 12 weeks. That was a long duration of studying and being alone. This time, she is doing much better. It is a shorter study period but she has a lot of the knowledge from studying previously.

I don’t have a circumstance from my education that I can compare to the situation my wife is in with Step 1. I never had an exam where I needed to study for a month+ at 8-10 hours per day. It is a hard test, and the amount of time given to students shows the vast size and importance of this exam. It looks like it will be 280 questions, which seems pretty huge to me! Not only are there a lot of questions, it is a grueling exam that lasts 8 hours.

The studying that the students experience has to be challenging enough to prepare themselves for this exam. There are online study aids, books, and practice tests that help them prep. My wife has had access to all of these, and has had her nose in them now for 3 weeks. Personally, I don’t know if I could stay focused that long, which is why I think my wife is pretty amazing. She has been able to stick to studying and stay focused as she prepares for this exam.

When someone studies this much for an exam, it can be hard for them to do things like cook meals or clean the house. There just isn’t enough time in the day. So, I try to make meals and ensure she has drinks and snacks while I’m gone. I try to get fun things for her like juice, pudding, jello, and applesauce. It is kind of childish, but it makes a difference in her mental state consuming fun foods. After all, I view this stage of life as a team effort and the more that I help her the better she can do.

Encouraging Words

You are going to do great things. Relax, do your best, and conquer this exam. You have spent weeks preparing for this exam, so trust and be confident in yourself that you know what you are doing. This test was made to challenge you and you have trained to succeed. The greatest things in life challenge us to rise to the occasion, and you will be triumphant. You will pass this exam. You will become a doctor.

To All Medical Students

I applaud all medical students that make the venture to become doctors. It is a hard road, and there are major milestones that are a great challenge. If you are taking your Step 1 exam October 8, 2020 (or another date) good luck to you. This is a hard time in your academic career, but will be rewarding soon.

Step 1: The Time Has Come

September 30, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Previously I wrote about my wife preparing for the Step 1 exam at an earlier stage of COVID-19. Her test date had been cancelled and was rescheduled for October 8th, 2020. The date is coming up quickly, and my wife has been doing amazing studying. She has really been sticking to her goals and trying to meet them.

Once in a Lifetime

I’m not sure that it has ever happened, or will again, that a student will be given this kind of arrangement for taking the Step 1 exam. My wife previously studied for her exam, and the date was pushed back. She continued to study as the date was pushed back again until it got to the point that it was cancelled and rescheduled. Typically the students study for about 6 weeks leading up to their Step 1 exam. My wife had studied for 12+ weeks in the previous go round, and has now studied for about 3 weeks leading up to her October 8th testing date. So in all, my wife will have been allotted 12+ weeks of dedicated study time for this exam.

Combatting Negative Ideas

Studying for an exam for this long takes a toll on a persons mind. Most of their time studying is spent alone. It can be hard to stay positive when you are left to your own ideas, while practicing for an exam getting feedback on your knowledge. The practice exams and study material that my wife uses gives feedback on correct and missed questions. It can be a downer to get on a streak of incorrect answers, but it is crucial to stay positive.

We have talked quite a bit about how she can stay positive. I figured it would be worth listed some of the ideas, in case you are in the same situation. Not only does this apply to medical school, but I think it applies to college and life in general.

Take breaks to relieve stress.
You have gotten this far, and it wasn’t on accident.
Find joys in life. Whether it be a favorite food, or a hobby you can look forward to after you complete your exam.
Set a goal for studying, and use any additional time for yourself.
Stick to what you know. You have studied for hundreds of exams, do what works for you.
Push back against the pressure. This is a big test, rise to the occasion and don’t fear it.
Get a good nights sleep. It’s ok if you sleep in, as a well rested mind will treat you better.

As you may be able to tell from my list of advise, I played sports. Most of my words of encouragement seem to stem from football and track. This isn’t a bad thing, a lot of what is pronounced to us in sports can apply to other aspects of life. Other things that we have done to help combat stress and worry is taking a little bit of time off for a couple hours each weekend. We have spent this time playing disc golf, taking walks, or going on a date.

The Home Stretch

As we near the October 8th date I can tell that she is a little nervous. She definitely has the right to be nervous about something this large. This one test depicts what type of doctor she can be for her career. This is real life. They aim to put a lot of pressure on each person with this one exam, and they have to succeed. It is by far a harder exam than anything I have seen elsewhere. There is no second chance, and if you fail you are placed below your classmates that passed. That being said, we are trying not to dwell on that information because she is going to do awesome. She has a brilliant mind, and a heart that drives for what she loves.

Final Thoughts

When things have gotten hard, we have taken the time to step back and look at the bigger picture. The other day we were talking about some changes to her study habits to keep her mind off of a score. You will perform better if you do your best, and don’t focus on a score. You can’t control the outcome, but you can be triumphant with your input. This test is hard, and the studying may be even harder, she will get to see after her test date. She has been really working to stick to a schedule and keep motivated. There has not been a lot of time for self-care lately, but the time will come soon.

She is the one taking this exam, but I feel like I am working on it with her. Making meals, trying to clean the house, and helping her to relax makes me feel as if I am contributing to her success. We are a team, not opponents. We should be working together to lift each other up and should not ever looked to tear each other down. Help your spouse when they are working in hard times, and you both will be rewarded.

Compounding Fatigue

August 26, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Being the spouse of a medical student, I have been able to be an onlooker behind the scenes of becoming a doctor. I try to pay attention and listen to my wife to gain knowledge in what she is doing, and how she is doing. It is not always easy to tell if she is doing well or not, but there are days it is obvious. Do you feel exhausted? Are you struggling to focus because you are tired? You are not alone. Lots of medical students feel this way.

She is currently in her rotation with Family Medicine, her first rotation was General Surgery and second being Orthopedic Surgery. So far, she has not been stressed as much in this specialty as she was during surgery. She has been at the hospital for a week to experience family medicine, so it may be too early to make any real conclusions. It appears to me that most of the stress she was experiencing during surgery was not so much the work, but the time. Surgery took up a lot of time in her day, and she still had to study for other work at the same time.

Her hardest days do not seem to revolve around a specific event, but is caused by a series of difficult days. Most of the hardships seem to stem from lack of sleep and rest, which has other repercussions. To further explain, it is like filling a 5 gallon bucket with 1 gallon of water each day. On a day where she gets a perfect nights sleep, 1 gallon of water would be drained from the bucket. On a bad nights sleep, there might only be 0.5 gallons of water will drain, leaving 0.5 gallons in the bucket. If this cycle continues for multiple days in a row, the bucket can fill completely and overflow. This is what I would say is a “breakdown day”, where the stress reaches a maximum and she has a hard time getting stuff done. If at this point if the cycle isn’t broken, the days of being overly stressed will continue. On the other hand, if she can get better rest, the days of overly stress can reduce and she functions better.

We have been trying to find ways to reduce her stress and help her keep going in school. Weekends need to be more oriented around things she enjoys, and time away from chaos. I’m not sure we will ever find a perfect solution, but we will keep trying to find new ways to help. Some activities that seem to help right now are taking walks (and talking), riding bikes, watching tv, and playing video games. Some other things that she enjoys doing are reading and completing coloring books.

What we have learned.

Something that we learned and I continue to remind my wife is how these hardships may feel like they will destroy her, and in the end will build her up. Though it is hard now, she will one day benefit from the hard work she is putting into this time in life. As she continues to persevere through the pain, fatigue, and emotional stress, she will become stronger. At the completion of this goal, she will become a doctor and will have many opportunities to help people. This will also fulfill one of her dreams.

It is key to have rest, as it is just as important as work time. Making sure that she rests will help her run and prevent burnout. Medical School is only 4 years, but these are hard years. There are more challenges now, than previously in the students academic career. Get a good nights sleep, eat well, and find a hobby you can do in your spare time. It will make a big difference in your productivity, and happiness.