Category: Pregnancy and Raising Children

The Delivery

February 8, 2023 / Jacob Brown

Charlotte is our first child, so we don’t have another birth to reference or compare her’s to, but I felt that it was an interesting and scary experience. We spent quite a bit of time in hospitals for testing and monitoring which is nerve racking in itself. The testing was needed because my wife had some changes to her health that were starting to become dangerous. Around week 34 of my wife’s pregnancy, she was diagnosed with preeclampsia.

My Understanding of Preeclampsia

From my understanding, preeclampsia is like a battle between my wife’s body and the placenta. Her body starts to have issues with the placenta, and it starts to wreak havoc on the mother’s body, ultimately having problems with the baby. The mothers’ labs begin to change in ways that are hazardous for her health. She starts to experience high amounts of protein in her urine, liver function changes, and high blood pressure. An achy body and extra water retention is also causing problems. My wife experienced all of the typical symptoms except for pain under her right breast and extreme headaches that are not resolved with the acetaminophen.

Aleena also experienced blood pressures that were exceeding 160/110 which is dangerous as well. There are risks of having a stroke when the blood pressure rises too high. If the state of high blood pressure is extended, it also increases the risk for mothers to have seizures. Thankfully, we didn’t make it that far down the road, but it was a possibility. The physicians and nurses that were caring for my wife during the whole process were able to better control her blood pressure through medication which made me feel more at ease.

[If you want a better understanding of preeclampsia, my wife recommends reading this: Patient education: Preeclampsia (Beyond the Basics) – UpToDate]

The Antepartum Experience

At 34 weeks, Aleena was diagnosed with preeclampsia. She went into a normal prenatal appointment, and they saw her blood pressure was elevated. Her urine had a large amount of protein in it. We were told to go to the OB triage center at the hospital for further testing. This happened to be the Thursday before Christmas. The testing proved that she had preeclampsia; thankfully, she did not have any severe features at that time. We were allowed to go home as long as Aleena monitored her blood pressures multiple times per day. We went back to Indiana to enjoy Christmas with our families.

Christmas morning Aleena woke up and felt off. I took her blood pressure and her systolic was 160s. We spoke with the on-call doctor who recommended being seen in OB triage. We went to Parkview hospital to be evaluated. Her blood pressure came down on its own and Charlotte looked good on the monitors. They started Aleena on steroids to help Charlotte’s lungs develop. We were told to go back to Toledo as soon as possible to be closer to our OB.

Monday morning came and Aleena woke up with severe swelling in her legs that came all the way up to her hips. She had a lot of pain and difficulty moving. My mom took her in to triage in the afternoon after the swelling didn’t go down. Lab work was done which showed progression in the preeclampsia (worsening proteinuria, increased creatinine, decreasing platelets, increased liver function tests – none of which were at the severe level, but trending in that direction). She still did not have severe features, but multiple labs were borderlines. We were admitted to antepartum that night.

For the most part, we were able to just relax and spend time with each other during our time on the antepartum floor. Labs were run every morning (or sooner if needed) at 5:00 am to check her levels. Each morning Aleena’s labs continued to show progression. Her platelets continued to drop, and her liver function showed abnormalities. Her blood pressure continued to be high. On Wednesday, we celebrated getting to 35 weeks, however her blood pressures jumped into the severe range and medications were needed to bring it back down. They ran blood work early at midnight which showed severe range platelets levels. At this point they called it and wanted to start the induction process.

Our Time on L&D

Shortly after being rolled into the L&D room, Aleena was started on medication. The IV stand had 5 different bags hanging administering fluids and medication to her.

Almost as soon as all IVs were hung, they started my wife on a Cook Balloon. A Cook Balloon is used to mechanically dilate the cervix. Being induced early meant her body wasn’t as prepared for labor so the balloon jump starts the process.

She was at the same dilation for a LONG time after the balloon was removed. It was about 8 hours or so before she began making progress. I thought it was crazy how quickly she made progress once it started. She went from the doctors thinking she was not making progress at a checkup at 2:30 am (5cm) to the baby nearly delivered at 3:30 am (10cm).

The Delivery Scare

Delivering a baby has its own set of challenges. There is a lot of stress being put on the mother and baby. My wife was considered high risk due to having preeclampsia with severe features and the baby is at risk due to only being 35 weeks and (barely) 2 days developed.

The delivery itself was very quick. Aleena did a great job and by the third set of contractions Charlotte was in the world crying for mama. Aleena got to hold her for a few second while the cord was cut then Charlotte was taken to a connected room to the team of NICU personnel. Charlotte was evaluated and was doing amazing. She didn’t need oxygen and the NICU team said she didn’t need to be in the NICU.

After the delivery, Aleena began to lose quite a bit of blood. From the report, she lost about 1 liter of blood extremely quick. The doctors pushed medications to stop the bleeding and stitched her up (minor tears). After the doctor got her stitched up, Aleena headed back to our room, and I headed to another room with Charlotte and a nurse. Charlotte was going to do her first sunbathing session to warm her up a little bit.

As I fed Charlotte her first food, Aleena was sicker than previously. They have to keep preeclampsia patients on Magnesium for 24 hours after delivery for seizure precautions. This meant she was going to have that sick feeling added to loss of blood and just birthing a baby. When I returned to the room nurses were checking out Aleena because she had been vomiting and continuing to bleed. I remember vividly that she looked paler than I have ever seen her. She was so sick that she did not have the energy to hold her own baby.

She had lost a lot of blood at this point, and they were trying to stop it. She continued to bleed more than normal and pass clots until approximately hour 12 of recovery. After sleeping a lot, she had stabilized and progressed in an upward direction.

Throughout the course of the delivery, they were pushing Labetalol to keep her BP down. After the delivery her BP finally began to fall and was getting a little low for my preference. At one point she was down below 90/70. It was a good thing she is confined to her bed and not allowed to walk as that is a little dangerous. The nurses did a great job caring for her keeping her within a safe range and on the right track to recovery.

To the Postpartum floor we go!

It was great to finally move out of L&D and get back to a room with windows. We were confined to the middle of the hospital on L&D which meant – no windows. Finally getting to move to postpartum also meant Aleena would finally get to eat again. What was her first food after 2 days without eating? A Rice Krispy treat of course!

We moved to postpartum at approximately 4:00 am, so nothing was open for meals. I ran to a vending machine to get Aleena a snack of accomplishment for all she had been through. She had done a great job and I think something greater than a vending machine snack would have been better.

On the postpartum floor we were able to relax and watch TV together finally getting photos of our little girl now that Aleena was feeling better. Our baby was small, but very lively. She had the quietest little cry that felt almost comical because it was so cute.

Heading Home

Heading home was great. We were fortunate enough to have my parents and her parents waiting for us at our house. They were kind enough to give us food and clean up around the house.

Unfortunately, we were in the middle of a bathroom renovation when we went to the hospital for the delivery. My family was able to help on the bathroom to get it to where the toilet could be used at a minimum so Aleena wouldn’t have to go downstairs to our other bathroom. Charlotte wasn’t due until February, so having her born December 31 slightly messed with our plans.

So what I’ve learned is there’s never an optimal time to have a baby and there never an optimal time to renovate your bathroom.

2022 – A Year of Changes

December 30, 2022 / Aleena Brown

From Aleena:

It’s been a while since I spent time writing. Major events and important milestones are kept in my bullet journal but writing in length about my thoughts on those events is something else entirely. I feel as though this year changed every part of my life. I received new titles, started a new job, moved states. I experienced many highs and lows over the year. Some days I was so tired, I barely made it through the door before falling asleep. Some days I never wanted to end even as the clock continued to tick towards midnight. We didn’t send a Christmas card this year, so we thought a post on our year would have to suffice.

January 1^st was spent on postpartum after the early delivery of our daughter on 12/31/21. Charlotte came into the world at 4lbs 7 oz. She was a fighter. Even though she was 5 weeks early she was strong. Her blood sugar never dropped. Her temperature was well controlled. She drank well from a bottle. She was as feisty and stubborn as her namesake. If I am honest, I started the year in a very confusing position. I was overjoyed that my daughter was with me, but I was sick and felt defeated. Mentally and emotionally, I felt low. This tiny, too tiny, child was relying on me, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be okay again. My pregnancy had been wonderful, but my labor and delivery were nothing how I imagined it would be. In many ways, I felt as though my body failed me and I wasn’t sure how to move forward. Thankfully, the clock keeps ticking. My tiny child healed my heart and my body slowly healed. Those first weeks went by quickly, and I’m sure there are many women like me who feel like that time lives behind a veil. Everything seems slightly fuzzy. I’m thankful for the pictures I took to remember those days, even the hard days are worth remembering. January came and went. I’m thankful to my mom and mother-in-law who spent weeks with me, helping me learn to take care of my daughter and giving me time to heal, grieve, and move forward.

February: Adjusting a family continued as Charlotte started to grow. We celebrated 11 years together on the 12^th of February. I am amazed as how far we have come and all the things we’ve done in 11 years. The things we talked about at 15 years old were coming true. All our hard work was paying off.

March: The first half of March we waited (im)patiently for Match Day to come. I am a firm believer that God always has a plan for us even if we don’t see it. Sometimes we believe our lives are going down one path and he will send us through a different door. March 18^th, we sat in a large conference room counting down to noon. I had made my list over a month prior. I was sure I knew where we were going. God had other plans. BETTER PLANS! I opened that envelope to see I had matched at St. Joseph Regional Medical Center in Mishawaka, IN. We were going home. I expected bigger emotions that day. I heard others shouting with joy, happy tears going down their faces. I felt relief that this whole thing was over. I was happy, but I was ready to put the circus of residency match behind me. I wanted certainty of my next steps. I wanted to know we had a plan and a home. Finding our next city was step 1.

April: Beginning of April brought the end of medical school. Jacob took me out for an ice cream date to celebrate.

May: I celebrated my first Mother’s Day and 26^th birthday the first week in May. We spent time with our families and continued watching Charlotte grow and learn. Packing was in full swing. We were able to find a home to rent in Mishawaka. We would be able to move in on July 1^st. Until then we would live with my parents in South Bend. There are days I miss our home in Toledo. We had so many memories there including bringing Charlotte home. We did many renovations to make that home ours. It was difficult to know I was leaving a home that felt like mine to live in a house that would never quite feel right. However, being near our families is far more valuable. On May 20^th our families gathered as I walked across the stage to be hooded. This was my third favorite title I received with “wife” and “mama” coming in first and second. It was so nice to look up in the crowd and see my husband, daughter, and both sets of parents waving at me. I am proud of myself for accomplishing this goal! It definitely wasn’t easy but will definitely be worth it. May 28^th was our last day in Toledo. Our families helped us pack up our home and move us back to Indiana and to my parents’ home in South Bend. Our belongings were moved into storage and our suitcases came with us. This wasn’t the first time we lived with a set of parents during our transitions. I’m thankful for such good relationships that allow us to live as a multigenerational household, even for a short while.

June: Jacob and I celebrated our 6^th wedding anniversary. We spent as much time together as a family during this month before I started working on July 1^st. We took a short trip to St. Joseph, Michigan and enjoyed time outside and wandering around the town. Orientation began in the middle of the month. The first time I met my fellow interns, I knew I was in the right place. These were my kind of people!

July: I was on call July 1^st. What a strange feeling that was. I started the year on inpatient medicine. While I was on call, Jacob and his family moved us into our house in Mishawaka. I felt like I had dived headfirst into the deep end, and in all reality, I think I did. It was a strange thing to announce myself as Dr. Brown when I walked into a room. Even now, hearing someone call me “Dr. Brown” has my inner child giggling. Thankfully, most people still call me Aleena (or Mama).

I think the clock sped up because August, September, and October came and went. Work continued as I learned how to navigate the hospital, the EMR (electronic medical record), and learn from those around me. Charlotte grew and grew and suddenly my tiny, tiny baby was crawling, laughing, and evening whistling. She was eating real food and dancing to music. Some days I had more time with my family than others. We had family dinners when we could, date nights when we could, and little adventures here and there. Jacob and I had some big conversations about our future. For most of 2022, Jacob and I thought Charlotte may be our only child. We walked out of that hospital on January 2^nd with our daughter, but both of us had to heal from our experience. We spent a few weekends sitting on his parents’ back porch talking about our family and our goals and visions for the future. One Sunday in September, we were walking out of church. Charlotte was on Jacob’s shoulders, and I had this longing feeling in my chest that someone was missing and should be holding my hand as we walked out. I knew then we were meant to have another child. My hope and prayer is this next year will bring us the joy of having another child. For those who may have been like us, it is okay to change your mind about children. Whether you thought you were only meant to have one or thought you wanted more. It’s okay to change your mind and make the best decision for the family that you have. Children are truly a blessing, but they are HARD work. My feisty 35-weeker turned into a feisty 1 year old. She has taught me so many things about being a mom and about life in general, but raising a human being is tough, especially with no manual. But as the clock keeps ticking, I find myself wishing for just one more minute of newborn snuggles, of nursing, of crawling, of nighttime rocking, of afternoon naps. I look forward to the day she comes running into my arms after work and tells me about her days, afternoons spent doing arts and crafts, family ice cream nights, movies and snuggling. One of my favorite book quotes says, “don’t let the hard days win” and I do my best to remember that on my on-call days, night floats, and tough times with family. By the end of October, I found myself with a 10-month-old and finishing 4 months of residency. I had done all the core rotations and felt much more comfortable at work.

November and December brought us the holiday season. I enjoyed decorating our home and convinced Jacob to put lights on the exterior of the house. Charlotte even had her own little Christmas tree. She is obviously too young to understand Christmas but knowing this was her first, and maybe only one as our only child, I wanted to make it special. She spent time with Grandma Sharon making Christmas cookies for my work and for our families. We spent time in the snow and cuddled up at night. She had many Christmases, one with just us, one with my family and one with Jacob’s. As the only granddaughter on both sides, she was definitely spoiled. The love our families have for Charlotte is unmeasurable. I’ve enjoyed watching her build relationships with her family all year. I was able to take time off between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m extremely thankful for a program that prioritizes their residents and families. They do their best to allow us to spend important dates with our families, just another reason why I am glad God’s plans are bigger than mine. Charlotte turns 1 on 12/31. We will be celebrating with both sides of the family. There will be balloons, cake, cupcakes, and so much yummy food. The days were long, but this year flew by. I don’t know how my preemie turned into this amazing 1 year old, but I am beyond excited to see what this next year has in store for Charlotte. There may be more changes for us this next year as a family but having some constant in this world is needed. Walking into 2023 I feel like a completely different version of myself in a lot of good ways. There has been growth and healing this year that was needed in order to move forward.

Looking Ahead: I’ve already thought of some goals for myself in 2023:

Read 12 books (or more)
Write 1 blog post per month (or more)
Spend 10 minutes journaling per day in both my Bullet Journal and “Better Every Day” Journal
1 Date night per week with Jacob
1 Family Activity per week with Jacob and Charlotte
2 Weekend trips this year
Spend a couple days a month taking photos for our families and others

I want to spend more time documenting and enjoying the phase of life I am in presently. Residency and parenting are both hard yet rewarding. I want to remember these months, especially if we hope to add another member to our family this year. This year I’m choosing to enjoy the ordinary aspects of life and finding peace amongst the chaos and tiredness.

If you’ve somehow read until the end of my monologue, I hope your 2022 was filled with moments of joy and that the times of sorrow were few. I pray 2023 is full of answered prayers and new experiences for you. And if you ever want coffee, I am always excited to sit with a friend over an iced latte.

Dear Grandma Esther…

October 30, 2021 / Aleena Brown

It’s been 5 years without you and so much has happened. Every year I write you a letter keeping you updated. Each year it gets a little easier. I guess that’s the funny thing about grief, it’s always there just easier to deal with. Anyway, this year has been exciting. I’ve written you more letters this year than any of the other years because one just isn’t enough.

School: I am in my last year of medical school. The time has flown by, but I am anxious for it to end. It’s been a long road and I’m ready for the next adventure to begin. I decided to pursue family medicine this year and am excited to start residency this summer. I am in the middle of interviewing for residency. So far, I have had 5 interviews and each program has been very welcoming and kind. It will be a difficult decision to make my rank list. Fourth year has been going well! I have been able to do some interesting rotations and gain some insight into some specialties that I will consult in the future. I think these rotations have been a valuable experience and I will be able to take bits and pieces with me as I move forward. My schedule this year was adjusted so I could take leave this spring to take care of Charlotte. I will finish my last day of clinical rotations on January 28th (your birthday). It’s very exciting to think I only have 3 months left. I will admit, it is getting harder to keep my energy up with so much going on right now. Some days are definitely harder than others. I’m thankful for Jacob, Mom, Dad, Christi, and Brian for being such a great support system and checking in on me frequently. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without them.

Jacob and I: This year Jacob and I celebrated 10 years together and 5 years married! It’s amazing to think all that’s happened in those 10 years together and now we are expecting our little girl! Jacob is still working hard both at work and at home. He is still working at Product Movers keeping the shop running. At home, he recently finished remodeling our basement and is now working on the bathroom upstairs. This little home will be brand new just in time for us to move. He has done such a great job in all areas of his life. You would be so proud of him! I know I am. When we found out we were expecting, he was so excited and a little shocked. When we learned we were having a girl, I think he was smiling more than the day he asked me to marry him. He was the first one to call her by her name. We knew who she was as soon as we saw that pink paper. He has been so supportive during the pregnancy and has helped pick up the slack when I was struggling. He deserves a vacation or maybe a hunting trip. Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to surprise him with something like that. We are doing good though. I think you always knew we would be good. You loved him like he was one of your own from the day I brought him to meet you.

Charlotte: I don’t think I could explain to you the amount of joy and excitement I felt when I found out I was pregnant. That joy and excitement was only magnified when I found out we were expecting a girl. We always knew our first girl would be named Charlotte Esther. We both agreed years ago about that. There were lots of tears shed when the positive test showed up and when I saw that pink paper. I couldn’t wait to tell our family! And they were overjoyed. The first granddaughter for the Browns and the first grandchild for mom and dad! Today I am 26 weeks and 3 days. The pregnancy is flying by. I only have a week and a half left in the second trimester. I don’t want to wish away my pregnancy, but I can’t wait for her to be here. At the beginning of the pregnancy, I had very vivid dreams… and you were there. The first dream I told you I was pregnant. I woke up in tears because I had never seen you in my dreams before, and it was so life-like it was hard to face the reality that I wouldn’t be able to tell you in person. A part of me is thankful that we have the ability to dream, because it gave me the chance to tell you I was pregnant. The second dream was before I knew it was a girl. I ran up to you and gave you a big hug and said “it’s a girl, we are having a girl! And her name is Charlotte Esther!” You gave me a big hug and that was the end. I found out a week later that it really was a girl, and I was thankful again for the opportunity to tell you about it. Charlotte is doing great! Her heart rate is consistently in the perfect range, and she is measuring exactly on track for her due date. She loves to move, kick, dance, and wiggle around. It makes Jacob and I both laugh, although we’ve had to talk with her recently that she needs to let me sleep at night. Even though she hates the seat belt in the car and isn’t a huge fan of me sitting up straight, I feel relief every time she kicks. She seems to love music. I’ve found it will calm her down when she gets annoyed. I’m sure that sounds funny since she’s still in utero, but we think she will have quite a big personality! Our baby shower is coming up. I heard most of the family will be there which is really exciting. I’m thankful to have such wonderful families on both sides who are supportive and excited for another baby to join the family. I hope as she grows there’s a little bit of you in there. I hope she loves baking Christmas cookies and listening to music all day. I hope she loves to be outside and go on adventures. I hope she loves animals and the people she meets. We can’t wait to meet her and get to learn about her each day. It will be an amazing job, and privilege, to be her mom.

Looking Forward: We will be incredibly busy this spring. Charlotte will be here before we know it. Match day is March 18th. We will be in the process of moving and finding a new home for our little family. We are hoping to move back to Indiana, but we will see what ends up happening! I will graduate medical school May 20th and will start residency at the beginning of July. It is such an exciting time for our family with lots of changes. Even in those last few days we talked about all these things happening. You knew I would become a doctor and a mother. You were even working on some toddler dresses for my little girl (They were given to me after you passed away). You knew all along how everything would unfold. And every year on October 30, I write you a letter updating you on all the things that have happened, but I assume you already know.

We love you and we will see you again.

With Love, Aleena, Jacob, and Charlotte Esther

A Motherly Moment I Will Never Forget

May 12, 2021 / Jacob Brown

This past weekend I was able to spend time with my mother and show her that I appreciate her. I make regular trips back to Indiana with my wife, so I see her often, but Mother’s Day is a more specific day to show our appreciation. There have been many times that I made the trip back to Indiana to see my parents specifically. Being further from home than before (during undergrad) has made the dynamic of our relationship change. I’d like to think that we depend on them less now that we are further away, but I’m not so sure that change has really happened at this time. I feel like we all need our parents and the role of being a mother or father never truly ends.

I have the greatest Mother. You may be thinking that you have the greatest mother, but that just can’t be true (unless you are one of my 5 siblings). My mother is the strongest woman that has influenced my life and I am very grateful. The primary reason that I have the best mother is that she has given so much effort to make sure we are happy (and fed). Obviously, part of my reasoning was going to revolve around food. Looking back now, I can see that she did a lot more for me than I thought at the time. We tend not to see the true effort that someone puts into us until later.

My parents have dedicated a lot of time and energy to us to make sure that we will succeed in life. Our parents teach us nearly everything while we are growing up. I tend to share a lot of the same interests of my mom, which may be why we enjoy spending so much time together. I like cooking and doing projects with her, but I haven’t been able to do as much since moving to Ohio. She is a great baker and nearly always has cooking lying for snacks.

A Short Story

When I was in elementary school, I was an amazing student. Probably. I’m not really sure since my favorite subject was recess and I usually waited all morning for lunch time. Maybe I was actually the stereotypical grade-schooler playing kickball at recess, forgetting to do their homework, and doing nearly anything for candy.

My mom put in the effort to drive us to school everyday instead of taking the bus. Taking the bus would have resulted in a long ride and leaving home very early. It would also have resulted in getting home later, so my parents decided that they would take us to school. I greatly enjoyed being dropped off by my mom and having her pick me up from school. It was way more fun to finish my last class and run out of the school looking for my parents’ blue van instead of being packed into a school bus.

I feel like I never made it easy on my mom, though she was putting out the extra effort to help us. One of the most common strains I (and my siblings) put on her was forgetting something at home on our way to school. I would typically forget my agenda at home and sometimes my entire backpack! I must have been carrying it around, got distracted and put it down somewhere I couldn’t remember.

My typical scenario would be as follows:

Mom: Get in the van and don’t forget your backpack.

Me: Okay!

Arrives at school

Mom: Have a good day! Do you have all of your stuff?

Me: Ahh! I forgot my backpack.

Mom: *sighs* I will go get it and drop it off at the principals office for you.

Me: Thanks!

Mom flies home to grab backpack so I don’t fail 2nd grade. Returns to school with lightning speed.

I would then sit in class and wait for the principal’s office to call my teacher so I could go get my backpack with all my school stuff inside. As an upside, we only lived about 10 minutes from the school but this put a lot more strain on my mom. I never heard her complain about any of these shenanigans with us forgetting our school stuff at home, just a reminder every time not to forget so she didn’t have to drop it off for us.

Thank You

Thank you Mama for everything that you have done for us. I really appreciate you and someday might be able to pay you back for all the round trips bringing me my backpack. Until I figure out how to ever make it even, I will have to just say thank you, Happy Mothers Day and soon birthday.