Author: Jacob Brown (Page 6 of 7)

Drop Her Off

July 29, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I remember all the times that my now wife and I would go down to the lake or out to eat during college. We tried to spend time together at least 3 days per week, most of which involves having dinner at her parent’s house. Spending time together is fun, but it comes to an end as the sun goes down. The worst part for me during this dating phase in our relationship was taking her home afterward, just so that I could pick her up sometime the next day to spend time together again. This was our life during college before we got married. Separating yourself from your significant other for the night is not the easiest thing to do, or the most desirable, but plays a large role in the health of the relationship.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is a common phrase that pertains to this subject. When we are seeking someone to date or marry in our lives, it can be difficult to be apart. After all, we enjoy the company of the other person and creating memories with them. Most of the time we have similar interests as our significant other and like to do the same things. I have found myself doing activities alone that I feel I should be doing with my wife because she enjoys them as well. I don’t really like leaving her out of activities that I think are fun for both of us. As an example, I don’t usually ride my bike or use my kayak without her (unless she can’t go due to her busy schedule) because I know she enjoys the activities.

If we are always reliant on someone or something, it can be hard to tell exactly how much we like or depend on it. As an example, imagine a person has a cellphone with them for calls, messages, and maps. They always have their phone with them. Now, what if this person was in a town they don’t recognize and their phone battery dies. Now what? They are left with figuring out how to get home by themselves without the help of other people. They have no way to call and ask for help or use map programs. What will they do?

In reality they would probably just find someone and ask them to use their phone or ask directions. But what if the phone is someone we are dating and they leave the relationship? What if they are gone for a week without seeing you? It can be hard to tell how much we rely on a significant other without having space apart from them, whatever the length of time. If the relationship were to end, can we still make our way through life effectively? In the example with a person and their phone, if they have never learned to make it in life without it (or lost touch with being single), they could be lost for a long time.

Dating can be a difficult time. For some there is a lot of heartbreak and turmoil. Others, like myself, were fortunate enough to date younger and stick with the same lady until marriage.

Learn the “paper maps” of your relationship. It is good to help each other in relationships. Not all of us have strengths in every aspect, and your significant other should complement those weaknesses. That being said, we should be able to navigate all aspects of our lives without our significant other while dating. If your partner is gone on a trip or is going to relax with their friends, don’t set yourself up for failure by being overly dependent. It is good to rely on them for some things, but not everything. I like to think of my weaknesses as being the “paper map.” It still works, but it is harder for me to navigate. Her strengths that compliment my weaknesses could be referred to as the “GPS” maps. I can still operate and navigate life without a GPS, but the GPS improves the situation.

Continue your life, and add them to it. Not all aspects of our lives can be continued when we start dating. For example, if a person was going on dates with different people and finds one they have decided to date, it’s probably not in their best interest to keep dating other people. This is just one activity, but there are others. It would be awkward if the person decided that they still wanted to drive around in the car how they used to when they were single. Maybe in order to do this they told their significant other that they would need to drive themselves because they want to drive alone all the time. Probably not super productive for relational growth.

Another change would be going from spending all of our time with our friends, then spending no time with them because we are dating someone. This change would involve spending all of our free time with our significant other. If we spend 100% of our time with someone, it can get quite annoying. I am just going to say it. We don’t need to spend all of our time with someone in order to show them we care about them. It is good to spend a healthy amount of time with your significant other, and a healthy amount of time with your friends or alone. If you are prospecting marriage with your significant other, it would be good to figure out how much time to spend with them. Should I spend more time with them than my friends? From my perspective, we should make a significant other an addition to our lives to improve. These relationships should not hinder us.

Drop her off at the end of the day. I am a big advocate for waiting until marriage to move in together and become physically active. Is it easy? NO. It might be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship in today’s society. We have a lot of cultural and societal influences that try to persuade us away from this idea. Everything from TV shows, to books, to music tries to influence us against the idea of waiting until marriage. The rate of divorce is higher among people who cohabitate before marriage. What are some influences in living together that could result in a high divorce rate? I’m not really sure if there is a definitive answer. It seems to me that it could be the result of too much dependency and too much time together for their people to know whether they should get married or not. They could be stuck in an “infatuation” phase and are not able to move out of it due to decreased separation from each other. Spending all of this time together does not allow them to find what they need in life, and what their partner will do when they are apart. When the day together is over, it’s beneficial to be separated. It’s good to live apart and really find what it is you enjoy or are looking for in a person.

Mental Well-being

July 22, 2020 / Jacob Brown

What level do you feel you are at in regards to mental health? Are you usually happy? Tired? What is the cause? It can be hard to pinpoint the level of our mental health at any given time. Life takes a toll on people, and doctors are not immune. If you feel this way, you are not alone.

Medical students and doctors have to deal with situations regularly that I have never experienced. There are odd hours, long days, and probably the biggest, loss of life. Difficult times mold people for better, or for worse. From my perspective, the way that these situations mold us is in how we choose to interpret them, and deal with them. The glass is half full or half empty cliche comes to mind. Times get hard, but are they challenging us to grow? Do we see it as a time when the world is trying to tear us down? It might be a little bit of both. Our response to hard times needs to be beneficial to ourselves and those around us.

Something that you may know is that Medical School builds a mountain of stress for students. A common phrase that I have heard is “medical school breeds alcoholism,” Students are under tremendous stress, and a lot of them confide in a drink. It is unfortunate that this is the case, but it happens. The students may feel alone or there is not another outlet for their stress. Alcohol may make them feel more relaxed and give them peace of mind while they are working or relaxing at home. The continuous stress pushes them deeper toward alcohol and may develop further into a crutch for them. This is something that I have noticed among the medical students. I am unsure of an exact quantity, but it seems most students will have at least 1 drink per day. Having 1 drink per day doesn’t make someone as alcoholic, but they need to keep it under control and use it properly. It could be beneficial to someone worrying about relieving stress in this manner to find another activity to relieve their stress.

My wife and I have been talking lately about some items going on with her and her rotations. Most of the toll on her seems to be emotional strain. There is joy within the hospital, but there is also sadness. It can be hard to recover from sad or unpleasant times when they occur, depending on what they are. I have been trying to be a better listener for her, but there are things that I will not understand completely unless I were in her shoes. That being said, listening to her talk to me has been beneficial for her. Though I am not experiencing what she is, it helps her to talk through it.

Medical Students don’t talk about their problems and issues enough in my opinion. I was part of a group a couple years ago of medical students and their spouses (if they had one). We had a day where we split gentlemen and ladies to have some discussions amongst each group. Something interesting for the women is they discovered that almost all of them were struggling with the same emotional strain. All of them going into the discussion seemed to feel alone and that there problems were unique. They had the mindset that they did not want to bother others, or others would not understand the situation that they were experiencing. After they began to talk they realized that they were all in the same situation, and if they would have confided in each other and talked about it a long time ago, they could be in a better place. School is hard, life is hard, and when we are surrounded by people that are experiencing the same hardships, we should talk about it. There is not enough discussion on hardships and how we handle them in the med student community. I wholeheartedly believe that med school is a team effort. Spouses, significant others, and friends work together to succeed. Something may be learned if “enemies” worked together once in a while. Yes each student is competing with the each for spots after graduation, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help each other now.

Tips for the reader.

Find an outlet for your thoughts. There doesn’t have to be a problem to talk to someone about your day. There may be a problem or may feel strained, but that doesn’t have to be true. It can be helpful for getting more perspective or better understanding your situation as well.

Talk to someone going through the same situation. This is an awesome opportunity to share amongst colleagues information they have gathered. People may feel alone on an island with whatever hardship they are going through. I am 100% sure that if you talk to your fellow colleagues, as long as they are being open with you, you will find that they are going through a similar situation. They can relate better to you than someone on the outside, and might be able to provide information on how they handle situations.

Find healthy activities that make you happy. As you may know, I am a big advocate for hobbies and fun activities outside work. Taking time to rest is equally if not more important than work. Keeping your mind and body healthy will allow you to work, so take the time to rehab them and rest.

How do I budget when I have no income?

July 15, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Working during school may not be an option, which leaves college students without income as they invest into their lives through higher education. Nearly all college students have money coming to them in some form, whether that be their money from summer work, deposits from another person, or loans. The source of that income could be from a job, loans (usable money but not technically income), or gifted to them by family. When I state income, I am mainly speaking about money coming in from the student working or from their spouse/significant other. Loan money deposited into a student’s bank account is similar to income (because it can be spent), but is not taxable.

Having enough money was an issue for me when I was in undergrad, and it is an issue among nearly all college students. It is difficult to figure out how much to spend on categories like transportation, housing, food, and extra activities when there is no payday in sight. It is more crucial to budget at this time. An overspent month can lead to a shortage on the next, with nothing to make up the difference.

My experience.

When I was in undergrad I tried a few different ways to balance my money. The first mistake I made was take all of the money in my account and divide it evenly across the school year. This seemed like a good idea at the time.

This setup allowed me to pace myself and know exactly how much time I had left before I ran out of money. Unfortunately, when the budget is just distributed it is hard to stay under, or considerably under. I started going to the maximum amount for each week or a little bit over, and before I knew it I was out of money. I completed my freshman year of college with $25 in my account which was just enough to fill the tank on my truck to drive home to my parent’s house. This was not my greatest idea, and I changed it for the following school year.

I started the school year with about $3,000. With this money, I had to pay some of my schooling out of pocket which left me with less money right off the bat. From what I remember, I only had about $60-$80 per week to spend on groceries, gas, and other activities. This is not a lot of money, and it was supposed to last 9 months. I did not have a lot of money to do things like go out to eat, do activities with friends, or have extravagant meals. I spent about $30 per week on groceries, which was enough. The remaining money was used on gas and “necessities.” AKA stuff I didn’t need to buy but did anyway.

I owned my vehicle and my parents paid for my insurance. Which was one thing that helped me to save some money. I also did all of my own maintenance, which allowed me to save money on the vehicle purchase. I did not have to purchase an expensive or newer vehicle.

There are probably 1,000 ways to arrange your budget to best suit you. It can be hard at times to budget because we like nice things or things that aren’t in need of TLC. Sometimes it is crucial to step back and look at what we have and decide what is most important and what can go away. Here are some guidelines of what I recommend to student living off of loans.

Find housing that is the bare minimum, but is comfortable. If you are going to pay for housing on loans, keep the cost down. Federal Graduate Loans run at about 7% interest. So imagine paying around normal sales tax on your loans while they accrue interest. I’m not saying that you should live in an apartment or house that is in a terrible location for your commute or is dangerous for your health. Find something cheap and reasonable to accommodate your needs.

Don’t lease or buy a vehicle on your loans. I have a view on loans that may differ from you. I do not think that we should ever take out loans when there is no return on our investment, but especially on vehicles due to their loss in value. They depreciate quickly, which means that the buyer loses their money quickly. Vehicles are not an investment, it is a tool that loses value over time. A large portion of graduate loans can be allocated to “cost of living.” That being said, the amount taken out should be kept to a minimum. Last school year my wife could have taken nearly $60,000 over the tuition cost for living. To me, that is absolutely insane! I have listed some “options” for how I would handle needing a vehicle. There are probably more options, but these are ones that came to my mind.

Option #1. If you HAVE to purchase a vehicle, take the time to research vehicles and make a decision for a low cost reliable vehicle. As a doctor, or soon to be, you don’t have the option of being late to work. Find a reliable vehicle at a low price (as low as you can stand) and pay for it in full. Don’t use your education loans to pay for car loans or leases.

Option #2. If you have any money that is not from loans, or parents that are willing to help, definitely go that route. I would avoid using loans on vehicles at all costs, but if you have to, make it go a long way with something very reliable.

Option #3. If you have a family member that will let you borrow a car for a few years, do it. It is probably the only option that can get you around town for nearly free. You may have to pay for insurance and fuel, but you would be paying for that anyway with a vehicle you purchase.

Budget to a minimum on food. I would think that in most areas of the United States a person could spend under $100 per week on food for themselves. It is definitely easier here in the Midwest, but may be a stretch on the East or West Coast. Learn how to prep your own food. You can eat healthier, and have food ready for you at home at any time. If you can avoid going out, which might be the most expensive way to eat, your money will go further. If you want more information on food budgeting, visit my other post on Eat Steak, Not Fast Food where I do a short discussion on saving money on food.

The 3 things above are the most important from my perspective. There are other expenditures like cell phones, computers, vacations, holidays, and others that are variable costs. All of them influence our spending, and some of them are necessities, but they tend to be cheaper than the 3 points listed in the previous sections.

Notes for the reader.

Find the amount you are willing to pay back. In the end it’s all a personal choice. Find the amount you are willing to pay back in the future. Use an online student loan calculator to figure out how much your monthly payments will be based off your interest rate and loan term. Though doctors make a good salary, consider the debt load. As an example, if a student borrows at 7% interest and has $250,000 (including accrued interest) at the end of the 4 years of Medical School, they will have a monthly payment of $1,767 for 25 years. The interest paid back is about $280,000 with a total repayment of $530,000, over double what has been borrowed.

Borrow to live, not to “live.” Calculating how much to borrow is purely based off what you need to live. It will vary from student to student but should be similar between them. Keeping the total amount down by avoiding costly ventures like extra electronics, large vacations, or overspending in other categories will benefit you in the future. Going on vacations and having nice things is fun, but the benefits should be weighed against what will need to be repaid.

Keep purchases on nonessentials to a minimum. It’s fun and tempting to go on vacation or buy new toys. That being said, I don’t think that we should not do either if we have the financial capacity. I have found it possible to go on mini vacations or purchase fun items without spending a lot. My wife and I have taken day trips to places which are very cheap. We have purchased items for our enjoyment that do not require additional money to be put into them. When it is time to move after medical school, unless the stuff is sold or thrown out, it will have to go with us.

Early Mornings

July 8, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife just started her third year of medical school. For those that don’t know, third year requires students to partake in activities alongside interns and attendings. The learning takes place in their (the doctors’) work environment on their schedule. This period of the students’ learning allows them to see how hospitals and clinics operate. They get to learn different procedures and techniques related to the many sectors of the medical field. It is the time when the traditional classroom learning environment diminishes and they begin transitioning into “hands on” training.

Our basic schedule is outlined below. It’s nothing exciting, but it is good insight in what is to come for those going into third year. My wife does a lot of different things at the hospital. Some of the things she does include rounding, scrubbing in on surgery, performing procedures, and others. I will definitely be writing another post that goes more depth on what she is doing, and how to best be prepared.

Starting the day.

My wife is currently working in surgery. Due to surgeries being scheduled nearly all day in hospitals, she is working longer hours than I am. My day typically involves me getting up at 5:15 am, but her day requires 4:30 am. Due to the fact that she begins earlier than I do, I get up with her to keep her company and help her get ready. She has to leave by 5:10 am to head to the hospital to avoid being late. She doesn’t have to be ready until about 6:00 am, but it takes a while to get ready with all of the time spent parking and prepping for the day. While she gets ready in the morning I take the initiative to make her lunch. I usually pack some items for making sandwiches, salads, or other items that we have made recently.

Lately I’ve been including salad with mozzarella, tomato, dressing, and chicken breast. Other items included are croutons, apple slices, and a bottle of water.

Lunch time.

My wife does not have a regular lunch schedule. Most of the time she has lunch randomly or not at all. The time allotted is typically when it is convenient in her schedule. I pack snacks bars for her for in case she has time to eat them. It is a lot easier to grab a snack bar in a quick break than to sit down and eat a full meal.

With the amount of unknowns such as lunch, she has experienced some new stresses. She has to go long periods of time on occasion without getting to eat. This could be one of the main contributors to her feeling more tired in the afternoon, but it could also be that by noon she has been up for over 7 hours by noon.

Departure from work.

My wife tends to leave around 6 pm, but there have been a few times where she has left between 12-2 pm. The scheduling right now is sporadic with COVID-19, and incoming patients. I leave work in time to get home and start dinner before she arrives. She is always very tired when she gets home, and I find having dinner ready helps when she needs to study before heading to bed.

I use the time when I am home and she is gone to exercise, work on projects, or make dinner. This is the time where I can catch up on things that I am behind on before she gets home. Usually I am behind on dishes and keeping our kitchen clean. I like to cook and am terrible at keeping everything tidy.

Tips for the reader.

Make it a team effort. Medical school is already hard enough. I find that taking the time to help with the little things make a big difference. Making lunch, dinner, or cleaning up the house goes a long way in reducing stress.

Follow their schedule if possible. I wouldn’t be able to follow my wife’s schedule if she were on third shift, or me, but I can right now. I think that it works well having us get up together and go to bed together. We have opportunities to create more unity and help each other.

Public Parks

July 1, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Public parks are spread around the Toledo, Ohio area and provide small oases away from bustling city life. They are like pockets of space that we have allowed to grow into a more natural form, and allow us to gather the same feeling that we would get from venturing out of town. Most of the Metro Parks are wooded and have paths for walking, running, and biking. Benches are placed along the trails for people wanting a good vantage point to spot wildlife and relax outdoors. Occasionally we see wildlife in the areas. Deer, rabbits, and various birds are pretty common to see while moving through these peaceful parks.

A doe and her two fawns walking down a path.

My wife and I enjoy going to public parks to relax together. Walking on trails or riding bikes allows us to spend time together, and we usually have time to talk while doing so. Occasionally we take the time to sit on a bench and have a conversation, depending on how many bugs are swarming us. We also will go out together for dessert and stop at one of the local parks to sit and eat together. There are plenty of ice cream shops in the area offering a treat during hot weather.

Spending time walking in our public parks allows us to get to know each other more. We spend time chatting about current problems we are experiencing and whatever else is going on in our lives. I truly think that it offers us more good talks together than just sitting at home. Going out offers a change in scenery that makes us feel more free to discuss different topics.

A young deer feeding as we pass on a trail.

From what I have seen, it appears that when people get married they tend to slide into a lifestyle that does not include as much activity. That doesn’t mean that everyone does, but when people (like us) have the option we tend to be physically lazy. I know of a few couples around our age that are dating or have gotten married that have become more active, but I think that is more rare. My wife and I have been trying to be more active lately and walking/biking in public parks has been our main choice of exercise.

Tips for the reader.

Find an activity that allows you to learn about your significant other. We choose to go out and hike or walk in park because we have the opportunity to get to know each other more. The scenery is a nice addition, but the main point of the activity is to keep investing in each other.

Find your happy place. It’s beneficial for many reasons to find a spot that takes some stress out of your life. Medical school causes stress for spouses and students, and it’s good to keep it from spilling into other parts of your life.

Make the trip often. If you have time to get to a park or other location 3 times a week, do it. Get out and keep working on your relationship as much as you can. There won’t always be time for activities like this, so make the most of it.

Make Time Together

June 24, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Now that my wife is in medical school we have really grown to appreciate the time that we have together. With free time being limited, we have to make choices on what we want to do together in advance. Now, not everything that we decide to do together is super extravagant, or extremely time consuming, but it doesn’t need to be. We have found that it is fun to do bigger things together, but we get more quality time together when we are laid back.

There are a lot of reasons that we don’t get to spend as much time with each other as we would like. We have found that most of the reasons we do not get to spend time together are good reasons. We have things going on in our lives and can’t always put them on hold. I have put together a list of some reasons, and whether or not I think they are legitimate reasons for not making time together. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them eat up time.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because I have to:

Work at my job. This is a good thing. It is good to have time away from each other because it helps us find ourselves. I work from 6:30-5pm on weekdays so that we have income, which is kind of important.

Mow the lawn. When living in a house with a yard this is inevitable. At some point the grass will have to be cut, the question is by who. I could pay someone to come to my house and mow my yard (which takes about 15-20 minutes) or I can just do it myself.

Work on house projects. I do a fairly significant amount of work on our house to maintain it and increase the functionality and appearance. Some of the work is a requirement, but some of it is additional tasks that I have chosen to do. Lately, I have been remodeling our basement to bring it a little bit more up to date. This is not a requirement. There was nothing in the basement of our house that was damaging or going to cause major problems.

Watch tv and play on my phone. This is something that I think is the least beneficial to our relationship. That being said, watching tv and playing on my phone has a time and place. There are times where my wife is busy with school, and I have completed everything else on my to-do list.

We don’t get to spend as much time together because my wife has to:

Study for class. This is a legitimate reason not to spend time together. This is the reason we moved and are doing what we do. She needs time to study without me needing to bother her.

Attending class or other learning centers. This is another big reason we don’t get to spend time together. I am not upset about either of these reasons because this is why we are here. I want her to excel as much as she can, and that can only be done by attending school and doing her best.

There are some different chores or tasks that we try to work on together that gives us more time. Some of them are washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house. Not only do we get to spend time doing these, they go faster. When we help each other it opens up both of ours time so that we can do more together.

Biggest tip for the reader.

If your spouse is busy, be busy too. If your spouse is working and has a time that they will be done. Try to get your work done at the same time. Don’t push off working on projects, chores, or work. If you can get everything done while they are working, you will have a nice window to spend time together. It’s not super fun to have one person done with what they are working on while the other person still have an hour of work to complete because they were watching tv. I have experienced this (and still do).

4th Wedding Anniversary

June 17, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. We got married between our sophomore and junior year of undergrad, in 2016. It has been an awesome experience being married while in college, and I think we have been able to answer quite a few questions for other couples. We enjoy talking with couples that are looking at getting married or are dating while in college.

When your spouse is in medical school there are times that you have to squeeze fun activities into small windows. As an example, we chose to celebrate our anniversary together by going on a day trip. We also looked at the cost to stay somewhere, and decided that we could do a day trip and be satisfied with our time together.

We left our house and headed toward Cleveland, OH to visit Cuyahoga National Park. Neither of us had been there, and it seemed like it would be a nice place to visit together. The weather forecast was good, and walking on the trails and riding in the car together would give us a lot of time to talk to each other. We are both fairly busy, and getting busier, so we decided this would be a nice trip. Our goal for the trip was to get out in nature and spend time together. We don’t get to talk to each other enough, and this was a great opportunity to do so.

We were also able to drive around the Cleveland area to see what it has to offer. Cleveland is a potential residency location, so we decided to drive around the neighborhoods just to see what they looked like. We visited the West Side Market as well. It was a cool experience having vendors selling goods in a bustling building. I can see how it would be filled with people buying meats, vegetables, breads, and confections later in the summer. Due to COVID-19 limiting people in buildings, it was not too busy.

We ended up eating at a nearby restaurant for lunch, then headed to Brandywine Falls, our first stop on the trip. For me, this was the most memorable location. The view of the falls is calming, and I’m pretty sure it was my wife’s favorite.

We ended up not staying in the Cleveland area for dinner and headed home. This worked out well. We went to the store and bought crab legs and some bread and planned to have our Anniversary Feast at our house the next day. This also allowed us to save some money, and get to spend more time together.

Tips for the reader.

Value the little things. Every trip or vacation you take with your spouse doesn’t need to be extravagant. Making a day trip to a scenic location is simple and cheap. Spending time together getting to talk can help you deepen your relationship, and get to know each other more.

Support your spouse. Your relationship will be way better if you can support your spouse in their life goals. I am finding new ways all the time to support my wife. A recent one is finding ways to take day trips or go to parks. It really helps her keep her stress levels down.

Take a cheap trip. Trips don’t have to be expensive in order to be entertaining or fun. As an example, the parks we went to were free, our lunch was $15, and we spent about $20 on gas for the entire trip. Not too bad for visiting a new city and going on a new adventure together.

Third Year Start

June 10, 2020 / Jacob Brown

My wife it at the cusp of beginning her third year of medical school. She has kind of started already, but she is just doing an online class due to COVID-19 keeping most medical students out of hospitals. Soon she will be shadowing doctors in their workplace, experiencing more of what is like to be a doctor and less of a classroom setting. From my experience a classroom setting is good for building some background information, but it can’t totally educate a person on a task that will be performed. As an example, in the United States we typically don’t have children read a book on how to swim, then push them into a pool on their own expecting them to swim perfectly. It takes time and practice within the workforce to gain important skills that can’t be obtained within a classroom.

My wife signed up for a year long layout of clerkships. She will be watching (and hopefully assisting) doctors in field that in orthopedics, surgery, OB/GYN, family practitioners, and many more. This year looks like it will allow her to try a lot of different specialties, which should in turn help her pick what she would like to go into as her career.

A new experience. A lot of medical students have job shadowed before, but not on the level that they will embark during their third year of school during clerkships. Most of schooling that they have experienced has been classroom work, which makes this changeover a totally new experience. I view it as one of the most important steps in becoming a doctor. The students have the background information, now it is time to apply it and tie all of the information together.

Change in learning style. I have found that there are people that excel in classroom learning, and there are people who excel in hands-on learning. My wife happens to be someone who is very good at both. I know that she is better at classroom learning than me, and she loves hands-on learning. Being able to apply what we know is crucial as it is the way that we make it all useful.

Schedule changes. Now that she will be shadowing doctors in clerkships, she won’t be in a classroom daily. She will have to travel to the doctors work, a hospital or clinic, for learning. Not only will she have to drive to their location, she will be on their schedule. This can be a little bit sporadic, but the schedule should be fairly consistent. The schedule is dependent on what specialty she will be shadowing at the time.

My wife has done a lot of research to figure out exactly what she needs in order to be successful in the clerkships. She has done shopping for shoes and other clothes. A big portion of what she has been looking at lately is office supplies. Make sure that you never run out of pens or are unprepared to take notes. Another thing that she has been interested in is what to keep in your white coat on a daily basis. This includes everything from office supplies to snacks. There are times that she won’t be able to take a normal lunch or break, and it’s good to be prepared for those times.

Third year looks like it will be a good change from the first two years. It will allow the medical students to grow more and increase their abilities to have relation with patients. They also get to step into the life of practicing doctors, and learn from them directly.

Tips for the reader.

Research online. Looking at forums or other blog posts can help you find what you may need. Being prepared will make you more comfortable and confident.

Ask past third year students. Past students are a simple source to find out what you may need. They have been through it, and they can help you decipher between what you need, and what you don’t.

Do what makes you comfortable. Within reason, and any guidelines set forward by the program, do what makes you comfortable. If you are uncomfortable all the time, it will make it much harder to focus and do your best. This applies to everything from shoes to your hair style.

Passing Time

June 3, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Something that I think Americans are generally bad at is passing time while keeping themselves busy. I know that as I have gotten older the number of young kids that go outside to play has lessened. There are a lot more activities for them indoors within television and video games. I grew up with just the “farmer 5” tv stations and did not have internet at my house until I was about 15 years old. When I was bored, I went outside and got dirty. I played games like kickball, volleyball, and basketball. I constructed stuff out of wood that didn’t make any sense, and I built stuff out of LEGO’s. There seems to be a disconnect with people today in all of these activities.

Being patient is one of the hardest things that we can do, and it shows. Most of us are terrible at being patient. There are events in life, big or small, that will make us wait. We are trained from a young age that we don’t need to wait for anything here in the US. We have fast food, fast internet, immediate results on tests, and much more. Our culture is fast paced and it can be a challenge to be patient.

My wife spends a lot of time studying, and I have found that passing time is easiest if my mind is busy. Keeping myself busy is not an easy task, there are a lot of times where I just want to do nothing but sit and watch tv. It can be a challenge to get up and get something done when I don’t have to. The motivation to keep busy mostly just my wanting. I want to build projects, hunt, fish, home remodeling, and work on cars. I don’t have to do any of those things.

Food. We have plenty of money to buy our food. I don’t need to hunt and fish in order for us to survive, but I want to do these things for the challenge. I enjoy the reward that come with these kinds of activities. If you were to go ask hunters the main reasons while they hunt, a lot of them will say that it is for the food, fun, and the challenge. In my opinion, stating that you hunt and fish for food is the most “politically correct” statement. The other reasons have to accompany the food aspect otherwise it is much more difficult to want to do it. If you’re not having fun, it may not be for you.

Construction. I have been remodeling our basement at our house. I could pay someone to do the work for me, it would make it faster. I do the work myself because I have time and need something to do after work. Some other benefits are we get to have a layout that fits our needs. We also get to make it our space and have the pride of doing the work ourselves.

Auto work. I don’t need to work on my car and perform my own maintenance. For me, if I don’t do it I feel lazy. I have the ability and the time, so why not. I also gain the experience and am more in tune with the stuff that I own.

Exercise. Now that the weather is warm I have been looking to get back into riding my bike. My wife and I like to take strolls in the metro parks when she is available. Otherwise, I take my bike to parks or ride through town when the weather is good. Not only does this provide some exercise, but it allows me to have more time to think.

TV. Definitely something that I think we should give ourselves in moderation. Most of what I watch on TV is not cable or any network of television stations. I usually stick to online video services and watch tv show episodes or movies that I haven’t seen in a while. Along with this, video games should be played in moderation. They are certainly fun, but a lot of it can drive a person into a hole of solitude. It can be a little bit hard to have friends or get out of the house if I’m sitting on the couch watching tv or playing video games for hours.

There are a lot more things that people can and should be doing to occupy their time. It is important to me to try to be productive, though it doesn’t always happen. So try to get out and find something new, or find a group of people that are doing what you want to try.

Sharing a Meal

May 27, 2020 / Jacob Brown

Living in a house has given my wife and I a huge opportunity to share with others. We have had the ability to host as many as 20 medical students at our house for various reasons, feeding them on multiple occasions.

Most of the medical students live in apartments or live in a house with multiple people. Due to this, most of them do not have a lot of space for hosting or inviting people over. I am not saying this is a bad thing. I fully support and want medical students to do what they can to save money. There is a lot of debt accumulation in the medical student community and it’s best to find ways to keep it down.

When my wife and I invite people over we try to prepare meals that are good for lot of people. Occasionally we make burgers or hot dogs, but usually stick to meals like pulled pork. I enjoy smoking meat, and it’s nice to be able to cook for a lot of people. I can usually put in the meat before I go to work, and when I return is it about done. This is very convenient for me, and it is usually best to do something easy. Something else we also do is encourage the attendees to bring items like sides or drinks. I find that this allows people to feel like they are contributing and are not just taking.

A free meal. Inviting people to our home allows us to host for people. We are able to provide food to medical students which can cut a little bit off their food budget. Now, I understand that it isn’t much, but $5 is $5. Not only that, but it may be one of the only recent times they have had a good home cooked meal.

Fellowship in conversation. Meeting together over a meal allows everyone to talk and allows people to feel more relaxed when in conversation. I have found that people talk about different topics when it is over food. Medical students tend not to share hardships or ways that they have overcome them during medical school. I’m not exactly sure why they avoid these topics. It seems to help them all collectively if they talk about these issues and how they have overcome obstacles.

Don’t worry about the cost. I have hosted a lot of people, on a lot of occasions, and I have intentionally never asked anyone to pitch in cash. I find that it gets in the way of everyone having a good time to ask people for money. Also, why would I ask people to come over so that they can pay for food? I find it best to pick something that I am going to make that I can afford, then give them the option of bringing extras.

As a closing thought, I find it important that my medical school friends know that my house is open to them. If they need somewhere to go for any reason they are welcome to stop in. I have actually had quite a few occurrences where med students stop by and stay for dinner. Medical school can create a lot of isolation. By allowing people to come over whenever they want I think I can lessen this for a lot of them. Food draws people together and has a big impact in relationships with people. I encourage you to partake in these types of events if you can find them.

Some tips for the reader.

If you are invited, consider attending. If you are a medical student really try to keep from isolating yourself for extended periods of time. It is already a time where people are working on their own and it is beneficial to get out once in a while.

If you’re hosting, do something simple. Whether you make hot dogs, burgers, or swing through a restaurant, make it simple. It’s better to have time to spend with everyone than be working through their visit to prepare a 5 course meal.

Steer conversation away from medicine. I understand that most everything in a medical students life is medicine, but it’s good to stay in touch with their personal lives. I like to figure out what hobbies people enjoy and go from there.