Author: Jacob Brown (Page 3 of 7)

Making a HUGE life decision!

March 10, 2021 / Jacob Brown

There comes a time in nearly everyone’s life where they have to make the decision on what they are going to pursue doing for a living. For most this occurs at the completion of high school, undergrad or graduate school. Not everyone makes a long term choice on the first attempt either, sometimes it’s not than easy to find what we want to do the rest of our lives.

For those pursuing an M.D. degree like my wife, a big decision has to be made around the completion of the third year of medical school. This time of their educational career pushes them to pick what specialty they will pursue. There are many specialties within the medical field and one must be chosen for residency. My wife was torn for a long time on what she would pursue.

After looking at many different specialties and experiencing these doctors’ daily operation, my wife has chosen OB/GYN. It appears to be the best mix of surgery and patient contact. My wife enjoys getting to talk with patients building a relationship with them. A lot of the dedicated surgery specialties have little time talking with patients and this is important to her. Family medicine has a lot of contact with patients getting to know them, but my wife would prefer to have a surgery aspect to her career.

So, how did she make the decision? What were some things that she considered when making this decision?

The (almost) Doctor’s Thoughts

Hi! So, when I first started medical school I thought I wanted to go into general surgery. I loved the idea of operating and being able to use my hands to fix a problem. I loved anatomy and wanted to spend every day getting to use that knowledge. I didn’t think I wanted long term patient continuity and I wasn’t sure about long clinic days.

The summer between M1 and M2 year, I did an anatomy elective that allowed me to focus on the female reproductive system. I was able to do my own dissection and learn about some common procedures. I fell in love with the pelvic anatomy. From there I started doing some more research. A not so secret secret: OB/GYNs are amazing surgeons! M2 year brought lectures and book work on the reproductive system and I came out of that class with a pretty good idea that this was the right field. But first, I needed to experience it in real life.

Some of my thoughts changed when I got into third year. I wanted to find a specialty where I could use my full potential. I wanted it to fit my personality. I wanted it to fit with my goals outside of medicine. Jacob and I started talking more about the life we wanted to have outside of medical school and residency. What were the goals we wanted for our life? For our family? That’s when I knew I needed to find a specialty that would also be supportive of my life outside of medicine.

As I went through each rotation I talked with the physicians about their lives, why they chose that field, and the highs and lows of that specialty. I crossed off some specialties right away. I didn’t want a lot of down time. I get bored a little too easily. I didn’t want super sick patients. Intensive care is a little too sad and frustrating. I liked kids, but I didn’t want to only take care of kids. By Christmas, I knew that I was between General Surgery and OB/GYN. I decided OB/GYN was the best option after my clerkship in January. The residents and attendings love their work and are happy even during the long hours. On service, I saw women in all stages of life supporting each other as they learn to become the best physicians they can be. The combination of surgery and clinic keeps the days interesting. I love that I will be able to care for women throughout their lives and be with them for some very important occasions. This specialty will allow Jacob and I to move back to a more rural community and fits well with our vision of the future.

Final Thoughts

Making big life decisions is hard. It causes a lot of stress and worry which makes the process difficult. I have found through our processes that considering the following can guide us on our path.

What is the most valuable thing in my life?
Is this decision the biggest thing in my life?
If I were not to proceed with this decision, would I still feel satisfied in life?
What steps can I take to eliminate other options?
When it comes to careers, if I were to lose this opportunity, what else do I still have?
How can this career help me achieve my life goals?
Will my life goals be blocked by choosing this career?
Will my job choice influence my family life positively?
How can I have a career and a family?
Does one choice offer better benefits?
Do I feel that one will be a career and one a job?

When is it time for me to turn down a different road?

February 25, 2021 / Jacob Brown

It can be hard to tell when a losing battle should be put to rest. There are times in all of our lives when things seem to go another direction, different from what we want. I feel as if I have been fortunate enough to avoid these situations lately, but they seem to lurk around waiting to get us to commit to them.

Some different times of life that come to mind might be college, medical school, jobs, and friendships. All of these things require dedication and persistence. There may come a time in any of these situation where we may choose to take a loss and get out while we can. It’s not a fun time by any means, but there are situations where it is necessary.

So, how can we tell when it is time to quit? This is not an easy question to answer. I don’t think that there is a definite answer either. Our current situation is important when considering leaving and cutting ties. I have found a similarity between most decisions that I choose to end. The main commonality is a “dead end” that lies ahead. If we have a dead end that doesn’t allow advancement, it may be time to leave. That doesn’t mean that when college is hard we quit, but we need to make sure that we see further ahead than the moment we are experiencing. Medical school has been difficult for my wife, but she has so much more in store for her after she graduates. If we have friends that never consider our interests we can feel like ending relationships.

You have to be the one to justify the situation when quitting. This is extremely important as we can’t go back to the way things were before most of the time.

A Recent Hard Decision Made

Almost 2 years ago I made the decision to leave my job and move on to a better opportunity. I was working at a decent job, but my time there had come to an end. I was hired to set up the facility and as it came to a close I began to search for my next challenge.

Leaving my previous role wasn’t super easy for me. One of the main reasons that I didn’t want to leave was because I worked with my dad. To partake in medical school we moved to Toledo (almost 2 hours from home). The distance from our families has made it more difficult to see them. We get to see them fairly regularly, but seeing my dad on weekdays was a lot of fun.

Another reason I didn’t want to leave was because I enjoyed my job. This was my first job out of college which also made it important to me. This was the first time I was part of a company and had a lot of fun but when the time came I left for a better opportunity.

Leaving was hard for me, but my new job has been 100 times better for me and my career. I have more responsibilities which brings some more stress, but also more joy. I tend to have more interest and pride in what I am doing as well.

I work longer hours at my new job, but I make more money. We have been able to do more when it comes to funding medical school now than before. I have also been able to better fund retirement, loan payments, and hobbies.

I left all my work friends, but I have made new. I work with some great people and would not have met them if I didn’t leave my previous job.

I worked in a good environment, but now it is even better. The people that run the company I work at aren’t perfect. That being said, they work hard to keep it all running. The main reason we are there is to make money and they do their best to make that happen.

My Final Thought

Life is hard. Making decisions is hard. We (collectively) are not very good at making decisions. I urge you to look ahead down the road and make the best decisions possible. It’s not easy but it will take you for an interesting ride.

How have I spent the last 10 years with the same lady!?!?

February 17, 2021 / Jacob Brown

It was back in August of 2010 that I met my wife. At the time, I made the effort to offer my assistance on her schoolwork and homework though it wasn’t needed. I had lower grades than her (and she is smarter than me) so she didn’t really need my help. I like to think that my incessant and possibly annoying persistence was the key to winning her over.

We didn’t officially start dating until I turned 16, but we decided that we were going to date at that time on February 12, 2011. Dating at age 16 was a rule set by my parents and I think I will continue this for my children. What’s the point of dating if the child can’t drive themselves anyway?

My wife has been an amazing addition into my life. She contributes so much to help us prepare for the future. This includes how we spend money and life choices she makes with school. I definitely don’t know where I would be in life without her.

Following are some things I have learned after dating and being married to her. They are not in a particular order, but all are important. It would be interesting to see what others have learned during their marriage or dating life if it has been as long.

What have I learned in the past 10 years?

Be Patient. This is something that most relationships have realized. There are a lot of times where we are waiting on each other patiently, our relationship could be difficult. Being patient also includes life goals that have been set together. In my case, after I knew that I wanted to marry my wife, I had to wait longer than anticipated to get married. Having to wait doesn’t mean that it is a time to bail, but learn. Learning to be patient is hard and a relationship with our significant other or spouse can help us learn first hand.
Do what she enjoys. I learned long ago that my wife had different interests than me. She enjoys reading books about 10,000 times more than me. I can’t remember the last book I read, but I know for a fact that it was not for pleasure! I just don’t enjoy sitting down and reading books, but she does. I have made the effort over the years to sit with her and accompany her while she reads through adventures. She will curl up next to me on the couch and read for hours while I browse on my phone or watching tv. She enjoys my company and I enjoy making her happy.
Date your wife. This is something I have heard quite a bit from older generations. I have found it useful in keeping our relationship feeling young. I know that being married nearly 5 years isn’t long, but plenty of marriages don’t make it this far. Dating your wife (going out together) gives the feeling that you are continuing to pursue her and makes her feel wanted.
Do your hobbies. It is fun to have another person around, but it is important to continue what you want to do. You need to be yourself while being in a relationship. I have found that my spouse enhances and adds to the joy of my life. It is important for me to continue my hobbies and what made me happy before getting married. Not all hobbies qualify, but the hobbies that are important that fit into my relationship with my wife.
Listen to what she thinks about. Sometimes it can feel like I can’t relate to the topics that my wife wants to talk about, but it is important that I listen. Not only does it make her happy to talk to somebody, but I feel that I learn about her while she speaks her mind. This is an opportunity for me to learn what she thinks about and what is important to her. I am always learning and hope that this will continue as we grow old together.
Give her what she needs. This might be one of the hardest tasks because it takes time to decipher between NEEDS and WANTS. I know that some of you may be thinking “if she says she needs it then she needs it,” but I have found that she needs the unspoken items more than those she vocalizes.
Ask what she wants to do. It is important for my wife to feel wanted and needed in our life together. It is crucial for me to ask what she wants to do even when we end up participating in a different activity. This can be asking what she wants for dinner or how she would like to spend the weekend. I find that if we don’t ask then try activities that each of us are interested in, it can be hard to learn about each other. There are things that she may want to try that I haven’t ever considered and may enjoy. Our goal of being married is to work together and it would be difficult with only one mind dishing out ideas.
Make her feel important because she is. Learning the love language of your spouse is key to productive communication. My wife’s love language is “Words of Affirmation” which means that how I speak to her goes a long way. My words carry a lot of weight both positive and negative. I make the effort to tell her that I love her and that she looks beautiful on a regular basis. I also try to weigh in on decisions when she asks me about life choices or clothes. She enjoys when I pick out her clothes because she wants to be dressed in something I like, and know that I like what she’s wearing.
Work together to achieve your goals. I am a firm believer that we were put on Earth to work together to glorify the kingdom of God. This is not an easy or simple task. We (as husbands) are made to build up our wives and our wives are made to support us. It is hard to work together all the time because we have different ideas. I have found it most productive to talk through our own life goals and work with each other to achieve them. We should not be giving up our happiness in order to give happiness to our spouse. We are in each other’s lives to enhance, not detract.
Lead. Leading in our relationship is my job and it has benefits for my wife. Leading doesn’t mean that I make all of the decisions (though that seems to be how it is interpreted). I work to lead our relationship and help my wife to achieve her goals. She is currently in medical school which involves a lot of her time devoted to studying and learning. I have taken it upon myself to earn money so that she can get through school. Leading is difficult as it also makes me responsible for failures. I feel that this takes some weight off of my wife and helps her in school and life.

The Future

Every relationship is different. I’m sure that you (the reader) have found similarities and differences between your relationship and mine. Marriage has brought together two different people to work together in a new way. I have given up some things, she has given up some things, and together we have made a life that is ours. It really doesn’t feel like 10 years together! At almost 5 years married, I think we are off to a good start at getting to know each other.

The Language of Love

February 3, 2021 / Jacob Brown

Our love language is how we express and experience love. There are 5 love languages (check out the book by Gary Chapman). Everyone receives and expresses love differently. How we choose and are made to communicate with others makes us unique. Everyone doesn’t show affection the same and it is important to understand others, as well as ourselves. Having a better understanding will make it easier to communicate with others. Knowing how those close to you experience love can also help build and nurture a relationship.

In my relationship with my wife, I tend to be the less exciting member (from my perspective). I think that my wife gives an outward appearance of having more energy and excitement than I do. I have found this to cause a learning opportunity for myself. She enjoys celebrating and dancing, while I tend to just relax and perform tasks quietly. As I said above, I am pretty sure that I am the boring one.

The Evaluation

From the mind of Gary Chapman, we have 5 love languages. All of them fit somewhere in our lives and some of them are more important to us than others. On his site, there is a quiz to help you understand the values that we have on our love languages and how we display them.

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Gifts
Touch

If you have not seen this before, I urge you to look into his book and read up on them. Learning more about yourself gives you a better understanding in relationship communication. I have found that learning more about myself helps me to apply myself more productively in my relationships. It’s not an easy task, but you will learn more as you take the quiz and look into yourself.

I am the type of person that feels appreciation through Gifts. If I do work for somebody or have an accomplishment, I tend to feel more appreciation from others with a gift than any of the other categories. This doesn’t mean that I feel nothing from the others, but they tend not to be as impactful.

My wife is the type of person that feels the most appreciation and love through Words of Affirmation. She enjoys Acts of Service quite a bit, but giving her encouraging words or telling her than I am proud of her is more impactful. Cleaning our house or doing laundry tends to be my choice for performing Acts of Service. Something important to consider when looking at your Love Language is we tend to convey outward what we want to receive. As an example, I tend to feel like I am showing the most appreciation and love toward others when I give gifts. My wife tends to give me Words of Affirmation when she thinks I am doing a good job.

The Challenge

Since my wife’s primary love language is Words and Affirmation, it can be hard for me to convey to her what she needs in our relationship. Words of Affirmation is at the bottom of my list, so I have to work at it in our relationship. It’s not easy to convey love in a way that our mind thinks is not as important or impactful to ourselves. I have found this to be the hardest part of communicating love and appreciation to my wife.

I urge you to follow the link above and take the quiz. If nothing else, it will spark a good conversation between you and your significant other. Maybe you will learn something that will help you to communicate and build a better relationship.

A Letter of Appreciation

January 27, 2021 / Jacob Brown

I am surely not alone when I say that when I was young I was more interested in the cash than the card. Most of the birthday cards I received were quickly discarded after seeing who it was from for the $10 tucked within the folded paper. My mom would (and still does) ask who the card was from to encourage us to read what it says and worry about the money or other gift secondly.

I find that this was a productive practice. We (my siblings) were taught to focus on the more meaningful part of a gift instead of the materialistic portion. I have found that this influenced me in a positive direction when I was younger and today. A handwritten card is more than just a piece of paper. It is a statement from the writer to the recipient that gives light into their lives and reveals a little bit of themself. I have found that heartfelt notes have much more impact than pre-made cards that can be found at the store.

The Mindset

Yesterday I was looking at some of the wedding invitations hanging on my fridge and had a realization. When I was young, about 10 years old, I didn’t care much for the content of the card and was more fixated on the gift that came with it. The card seemed to be just words, and holding onto the card for remembrance of an event seemed silly. I usually took any money and bought things like toys, candy, or pop. The card was just a vessel to carry the money and after it was empty it was tossed out.

I have come to the conclusion that I have either been programmed by my parents to enjoy cards or I have grown to enjoy getting a cards now at 25. The most recent cards that hit home are “Thank You” cards from weddings. Giving gifts to newlyweds is standard procedure, along with sending out “Thank You” cards. Though that is the case, I find myself having a deeper appreciation for the thought from the sender.

When my wife and I were wed back in 2016, we sent out thank you cards to those who attended or gave us gifts. For those who have done this, it can feel like a drag but is necessary to complete. We took the time to write each card by hand and sign them so that they were more heartfelt than a standard pre-made card. This is the style of “Thank You” that I received recently from our recently hitched friends.

As I have gotten older I have grown to appreciate “thank you” a lot more. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but it seems to be more important to me now than when I was younger. I work hard at my job, my marriage and friendships, and I greatly appreciate when others feel that they should retaliate with kindness. It isn’t easy trying to fit everything into our lives that we would like to accomplish. Having those around us feel that they need to tell us that they are thankful is powerful.

In Reality

Though I am not able to write notes to everyone who helps me, I appreciate everything they do. I am thankful for the times that we have fallen or seem to be on our way down and people jump in to help us without being asked. I am thankful for friends that want to spend time with me and my wife. It would be a little bit silly to write a “thank you” card to everyone in my life that makes me feel grateful, but they deserve it.

I think it is important for us to tell others that we appreciate them. In today’s society there are a lot of ways that we can send a message to people to give them information. We can send others a message on social media, text, email or call them. I don’t think that anything can replace the sincerity of a hand written note. So when someone writes one for you, don’t take it for granted. It’s more than just paper with ink.

Hard Task? Let’s Try Self Motivation

January 24, 2021 / Jacob Brown

You may have noticed that I missed my typical posting day this past week. It’s not that I didn’t want to make a post, but some different things that have come up made me more busy and I didn’t have time to sit down and focus on writing a post.

Self motivation is one of the hardest things to achieve. Self motivation requires having the ability to push ourselves to complete a goal or task without having others assist. Something that comes to mind when I think of self motivation is sports. Though there is a coach for the team, the players have to make the decision to try as hard as they can in order to be successful. It’s not an easy task, especially when the task at hand is physically or mentally straining.

After retiring from organized sports, I have found myself in a lot of life situations that require self motivation. The biggest difference between these challenges and sports is the lack of coaching. For the most part, there are no coaches in life. Life is a game that is too hard to master, so there’s no coach at the helm that knows the skills and game plan required to win. Though there are a lack of coaches, there are people in the world and our lives that have achieved the same or similar goals that we are working toward. These people can be our allies and people we can rely on for guidance or answers.

A Recent Challenge

My basement remodel project is a recent challenge that has required a lot of self motivation. This project is extra and is not a necessity to live in our home, which has made it hard to be motivated to complete. The main goal of the project was to achieve a dry basement, and make a new space for us to hangout.

I started working in my basement October of 2019 and had the initial goal of completion by December 2019. Obviously, we are just a little outside of the original completion date seeing as it is January of 2021. It’s kind of funny that it has taken so long, but not really since I still can’t fully take advantage of the space.

I have reached the point in my project where I have a fully functioning bathroom and the main area is 99% complete. The tasks that I have left should not take very long, but I have said that before. I mainly work on the project after work for an hour or two which has also caused it to take longer than desired. This project has been a real challenge for me, but I can actually see the light as the end of the tunnel now.

Some Motivational Tips

I am not a self motivation master, but I have learned a few things over the years that I think could help others. I believe that if we have learned or figured something out that we need to share it with others because it may be useful for their journey. Here is a list of some do’s and don’ts on my self motivation journey.

Set a goal that is achievable.
Don’t set a goal that will be impossible to hit.
Challenge yourself when setting your goal. This may be setting a completion date or goal that will be hard to hit.
Don’t set a goal that is so far out of reach that you are unmotivated to reach for it.
Set lots of short term goals so that you can achieve in short strides. This will help with motivation and satisfaction in your work.
Don’t have one primary goal on a large project. As an example, I should not set my only goal to be remodel basement.
Find ways to reward yourself for achieving short term goals.
Don’t withhold all reward or satisfaction until the end of the goal.

If you have questions, reach out to those around you. There are other people that have gone through what you are or similar to what you are going through. Keep strong and push yourself because you may surprise yourself how far you can reach.

A Short Recap of 2020

January 14, 2021 / Jacob Brown

Obstacles in life give us opportunities to find ways to manage change. Our time spent in 2020 gave many different obstacles to cross and taught us many lessons. I wouldn’t say that 2020 was a great year for most people, but I think we can learn a lot from the events that influenced our lives and the medical student community.

January

January started off as a normal time for us. My wife was going to school regularly without any hiccups. I went to work without having to do anything special, like wear a mask, and partook in normal work activities. During this time my wife was approaching taking the Step 1 exam. Near the end of the month on January 21, 2020 the first COVID-19 case was reported in the United States by the CDC. At the time, we didn’t think it would cause such great repercussions in our lives, but we would soon find out the extent of the disruptions.

February

My wife was in the phase of school where she needed to start studying for Step 1 as I have said previously. For the most part, she could do her schooling from home so disruptions in the hospitals and school were not a problem for her learning. February was the time when the United States began to proactively react to COVID-19, which meant restrictions for gathering.

Medical school is different than most learning centers from what I have seen. Most of my wife’s classes are optional for attending in-person and a lot of students choose to learn from home. This is something that was established long before 2020 and I think has helped the students to continue their education through the Pandemic. At the tail end of February my wife finished M2 year and began her dedicated study time for Step 1. This created a lot of isolation for her preceding the isolation that was to come from COVID-19.

Fun fact: We celebrated 9 years together on Feb 12.

March

This was the month where social distancing began to really take hold of Ohio. The state started limiting group sizes which cut down on people’s movement and gatherings. This also began creating isolation for a lot of people. I had been fortunate enough at this time to continue working while my wife studied for Step 1.

My wife began isolation 6 weeks before her scheduled date for Step 1. She studied about 10-12 hours per day, 7 days per week during this time. As the date approached we were worried of date changes due to gathering limitations at the testing centers. Our fears became a reality near the end of March. Her date was cancelled in the middle of March. She was given the option to take it again 2 weeks later. This was the first time she changed her date.

April

My wife’s original test date for Step 1 was April 3. With limitations on group sizes testing centers began to cancel the students current opportunity for testing. My wife’s testing date was cancelled and ultimately was moved to a date about 6 more weeks out. We hoped that being 6 more weeks there would be a better flow or testing allow her to participate. She had changed her date about 4 times before getting it set to May 19.

Her test didn’t happen at this time either. Her new testing date was set for Oct 8. She made the decision May 1 to cancel her May date and take 2 weeks off before M3 year began. At this point, she had spent nearly 11 weeks by herself 12 hours a day.

May

My wife’s birthday is in May! We started taking day trips for fun so that we could spend more time together. Day trips are fun and the cost is fairly low, especially when compared to staying overnight somewhere.

I tried to make her birthday special even though we couldn’t do anything fancy with a bunch of people. Thankfully, she is always happy with a walk by the lake and some ice cream.

Aleena started M3 year on May 18. Her class was online and she spent her time at home preparing for clerkships. This would be the year she entered the hospitals to work. With the craziness going on in the hospital, her clerkship schedule changed drastically. Each of her rotations were shortened and she wouldn’t get into her first rotation until the end of June.

June

We made a day trip to Cuyahoga Falls just outside Cleveland, OH. We had never been there and it seemed like a good place to site see. We drove over early in the morning and hit up some of the major spots and hiked around on trails.

We intended on staying for a nice dinner, but made the decision to head home a little early. It was about a 3 hour drive and it was nice to drive home in the daytime. I made up for the change in dinner plans by making a seafood bake in my smoker!

July

4th of July wasn’t cancelled, but it was significantly smaller than 2019. We don’t usually do anything extravagant for the 4th, but this year we didn’t have the option. It seemed that most people had smaller events.

Aleena was busy with her surgery clerkship and I was working. We started getting comfortable with long days and early bedtimes.

August

The month of my birthday! As with everything that happened this year, we didn’t do anything extravagant. I usually prefer to go out to eat with my wife and spend some quality time with her. We were still able to do that which is good.

September

After all the rescheduling it was finally time for my wife to prepare for Step 1 (again…). Most of September was spent with her studying at home. We would go to the parks to give her a break and enjoy the nice weather.

October

My wife was able to get into a testing location in October. It wasn’t an easy, or short, road to this point but it was worth it. The studying and isolation was hard on her, but I believe it made her stronger today. By the end of the month we found out she passed! We were incredibly grateful for the outcome after such an unexpected road. At the end of October was Halloween, which was greatly disrupted by the pandemic.

November

Celebrating Thanksgiving was much different for us this year. Last year we were able to host some of the medical students at our house for a small celebration. This year we were not able to do so due to group size, so maybe next year. We were able to safely see our families for the holiday. It was really important for my wife to spend some time with her parents.

December

The holidays came around. We managed to spend some time with my family and with hers. It can get hard at time to spend a late Friday night driving to our family’s homes, but we enjoy their company. My wife spent most of her break with her parents. This way she wouldn’t be alone during the week. Maybe next year we will be back to normal, or at least something similar to 2019.

Closing Thoughts

For those that know my wife, you know that my wife is tough. She has accomplished more in medical school than I feel I did during all of my schooling. She has been persistent and composed through medical school in testing and studying. Now that she is working in hospitals she has been able to put the rest of her talents to good use.

2020 was much different than any year we had experienced in our lifetime. Lots of restrictions were placed on what we can do outside of our home. We are hoping that 2021 will bring better news and be more prosperous for us all.

The Most Challenging Moments of First Year

January 6, 2021 / Jacob Brown

Now that my wife is in her third year of medical school I have a different perspective of her previous years of school. In general, life tends to feel hardest during the events that cause trouble. When we are in the sad or difficult times, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. These times tend to look different after we have conquered the challenges. That doesn’t mean that the challenges miraculously seem easy now, but the mountains don’t seem as tall anymore.

Moving to Ohio

My wife and I have never lived away from our families, so this was going to be a major life change. Our families were able to chip in to help us with moving, expenses and settling into our new home. I was in Alabama on my final trip for Track and Field while a majority of the moving work was completed. My family loaded nearly all of our stuff in their vehicles and on their trailer before I made it back. This was a huge help as I didn’t know when I would have returned from Gulf Shores.

My wife had worked with her parents to paint and clean the house the week before we were able to move in. This made it possible for everything to be prepped and ready when we were able to get all of our stuff in the house. This made it very easy for me, as I was not able to be there to help out.

I was able to get back sooner from Alabama that originally planned, which made it possible for me to help move everything into the house. Originally I wasn’t going to make it back which would have left our families to do all the work (which isn’t very considerate on my part). I drove from college to my parents house and helped them to move all of our stuff the next day. It was a lot of work moving, but it wasn’t terrible seeing as I didn’t do most of the work. Moving isn’t very fun and involves us seeing all of our things sprawled out for us. There was quite a few items that should have just been left behind and hopefully we won’t make the same mistake again.

Moving to Ohio also involved us changing out licenses, insurance, and other documents to rebrand us to our new home state. This was more of a hassle than a challenge. After a trip to the BMV and a few phone calls we had everything changed over.

Starting My First Job

After moving to Ohio I started my first job in Delta, OH. I worked as a site manager for a large construction project. Working at your first job is quite a change from the college schedule. I was used to class every other day and track practice. Getting into work life was different, but wasn’t super rough.

I started working from 7 am to 4 pm as the only representative on site from my company. I enjoyed this from job from start to finish. I enjoy machinery and construction and hope to get back into a similar line of work someday. Working at my first job was not as hard on me as it was my wife.

When I went to work my wife was at home working on nothing (school hadn’t started yet) for a while. After school had started she spent a lot of time at home studying alone. When I got home from work each day we tried to spend time together to help alleviate the loneliness.

Starting Class

Times were better when she started class. There was more time spent with other people outside of our home which cut down on some of her loneliness. Without going to class she would spend all day, everyday, in the solitary confinement of our house. This is the situation that she was in before class started and it needed to end. Class was hard on her at first (and every class) but it was an improvement over sitting at home alone. Her mental state seemed to improve after finally getting to go to class and see other people.

My wife noticed a huge decline in assistance from professors on class work in medical school when compared to undergrad. In medical school there is a lot more learning left to the student and less work involved for the professor (from my point of view). There is a lot more reading and other requirements for students with little guidance on where to look to find the information. Depending on the amount of assistance and guidance given by the professors, school can get very difficult.

Building Friendships

Moving to a new state where we didn’t know anybody was difficult. We left our families and our friends to embark on a new journey that gave us the opportunity and challenge of making friends. Soon after attending school my wife found out about a group called CMF where we could meet other students. Making friends was probably more difficult for me than my wife because she new a lot of the people in the group. Some of them were in her classes, which is where she met them. I knew nobody. It didn’t take long after attending the group the first time that I found a couple people in which I could relate.

Seeing as I am a working adult, I don’t have a lot of opportunities to make friends. At the time when my wife started school I didn’t know anyone outside of work. I’m not saying that coworkers can’t also be friends, but being the only worker for my company made it hard to have coworker friends. It wasn’t long after I started working there that others were hired.

There were a couple medical school guys that I related to from the CMF group that I still talk to and hang out with on occasion. We have shared interests and I appreciate their compliance and willingness to share their time with me when available. They are medical students after all, which doesn’t allow for a lot of free time.

Hunting Season

When I lived in Indiana I hunted often with my family, mostly my brothers. I greatly enjoy getting out into nature with the possibility of harvesting game. Being out in nature was calming for me growing up and helped me to escape the chaos of school and life.

When I moved to Ohio I became a resident in this state. This means that I am now a nonresident of Indiana, which increases the price of tags and licenses. I have been fortunate enough to have a wife that understands the level of priority hunting plays in my life. She understands fully and has allowed me to continue to hunt in Indiana, though the price tag is higher now. I have hunted in Ohio on one occasion with a medical student that was kind enough to invite me along with him and his father.

Hunting in Ohio would definitely be an easier drive (and cheaper), but hunting in Indiana allows me to partake with my family. Hunting in Indiana typically involves driving over Friday night nearly every week during hunting season, from October until January.

Settling into the Area

Moving to a new city provides the opportunity to find new parks, restaurants and stores. When we first moved to Ohio we had to start from scratch on all fronts. Until we moved here I can’t remember ever visiting Toledo. There’s not a lot happening around here that warranted me making the trip. I have made the trip from Indiana up to Dundee, MI quite a few times but don’t remember stopping in Toledo.

We spent the first few weeks trying to find good restaurants and places to go. It helped that we had a gap between moving and work starting for me. With the gap in time, about a month, we were able to make some improvements to our house and find things to do around the city.

This wasn’t something really stressful or challenging, but I feel was a necessity to feel more at home in a new city. With the help of the internet we have been able to find some really good restaurants. We have also made short trips to different metro parks in the area to walk or bike.

Final Thought

There were a lot of changes for us when we started our journey for medical school. I think that we handled the changes pretty well, though we weren’t perfect. It was awesome to have people help us move and others introduce themselves to us.

If you have had a similar experience I would be interested to hear how you handled the situation and what you learned. Please feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me through my Contact Information.

Selling Our Clutter to Capture More of Life

December 30, 2020 / Jacob Brown

For Christmas, my wife and I decided to get ourselves a gift that we could use to spend more time together. Spending time with my wife will more than likely slowly deplete as we get closer and into residency. We took this Christmas as an opportunity to get rid of unused “stuff” we had lying around and get something for the both of us.

In the past couple years I feel like I’ve changed in my view on how we spend time together. It’s not easy to plan trips or have dedicated longer periods of time available that we can spend together. I have been moving toward finding times where we can drop some of the stressful and overly time consuming tasks, and pick up more relaxing hobbies together. Some of the time consuming hobbies for me are not easy to drop at a moment’s notice and require more input and dedication. As an example, my wife likes to play video games and it can’t be dropped mid level or she will lose the game. I also enjoy playing video games, but my favorite games are single player so I don’t usually play them when she is around.

Pre-Purchase Requirements

Some of the major things that I wanted to complete before making a purchase on a camera was selling some of our “stuff” so that we reduce clutter around the home. It was also nice to have a few extra dollars in our pocket before Christmas. The main things that we sold were just lying around and not being used anyway. Some of what we are still trying to sell are past hobbies that have sat on shelves for a couple years. We have made a push to sell our unused “stuff” and downsize to be more efficient around the home. This is useful for us now because we can reduce clutter or multiple items that are the same in our home. When the time comes for residency we may have to move and we will have less to pack. Lately I have been interested in eliminating unused items around the home and seeking upgrades for them. Upgrades are only purchased if the object was being used but we are in need of a replacement.

Finding “The One”

I’m not sure if you’ve ever looked at the wide selection of cameras on the market, but it is astounding. Many manufacturers make consumer products that range from $100-$5,000, which makes the choice a little bit more difficult. There are major manufacturers like Canon, Sony, and Nikon. This meant for me that if I stuck to major manufacturers, there are many camera choices. That’s not even considering what lenses you’d need to purchase (which also have many options).

I had done quite a bit of research about a year ago, so this time was a little bit easier. I was looking for a camera that would give me professional quality photos, but not be super expensive. We sold some of our stuff so that we could make the purchase, but not enough to cover the full price of the camera and lens. There are a lot of cameras that fell within our price range, but before purchasing I made a list of requirements.

Full-frame sensor
Good battery life
Mirrorless design
Wide lens selection
10 FPS continuous shooting
Easy to use and adjust settings
High quality video (1080p and 4K)
Variety of aftermarket accessories
Needs to have more abilities than we are currently using so that we don’t grow out of it quickly.
Good price point (within our budget)

Due to wanting a camera that is full frame and mirrorless, the options were cut fairly quickly. This cuts out a lot of the lower price point DSLR cameras and increases the amount that we would have to spend. The reason that I wanted full frame is it doesn’t have a permanent crop, which can give wider photos. It is also a larger sensor than a APS-C which allows for more “data” collecting. It should yield better photos than an APS-C sensor, especially in low light conditions. I was looking at full frame cameras due to wanting to take professional quality photos, which should be easier than with a smaller sensor.

Choosing a camera is difficult. Though I narrowed down our options to just a handful, 3 models, it was still hard to choose. This purchase has a lot of repercussions if we don’t like what we choose. We could be stuck with a camera that takes insufficient photos or have a hard time finding accessories. My ultimate goal is to take photos for others, and if it doesn’t take high quality photos this would be difficult.

I took time to watch countless videos on different models of cameras to form comparisons. This is probably the best way to find out exactly what you’re going to purchase (other than knowing someone who owns one). The options are endless, but we managed to decide on a camera and made a purchase.

The Decision

We ended up buying a camera made by Sony. For our needs, it looked to be the best option. We have had a lot of fun so far and plan on taking many photos in the future. I prefer to take photos of my wife and she enjoys taking photos of us. I don’t mind having my picture taken, but I prefer to be behind the camera. We are also looking to find people that want or need their photos taken. We are new to the game, but I think we are doing well.

Some Photos

I have attached some photos of what we have done since purchasing our camera. We haven’t had it long, but we can tell that we love taking photos together. Something that I find rewarding about photographs is that they take up very little space. We can save thousands of memories on hard drives and will be able to take them everywhere with us for the rest of our lives.

The Brazen Rediscovery of the Bottomless Wallet

December 23, 2020 / Jacob Brown

I’m sure that others can relate when I say that the holiday season causes the urge to give (and spend money). People want to give their time, money and goods to help others so that we can all have a wonderful holiday season. Lots of people like to give, but it can be difficult depending on their financial situation.

I have found that “my heart is bigger than my wallet“ on many occasions. There are people in my life that I want to give to, but I can’t afford to do so on the intended level. That being said, it doesn’t stop me from giving what I can to those around me in my life.

The Bottomless Wallet

The “bottomless wallet” has the power of mind control. It calls to the owner, taunting them to open it. Soon after being coaxed, they are put in a trance that blinds them from sound thinking and judgement. The bottomless wallet has the power to take us down before realizing what we have done.

This is obviously a bit of humor, but it is how it feels sometimes. When I get out my wallet, there are times that I feel I should make a purchase. Sometimes I lose sight of exactly what I should be buying for, and the kind of items that I am purchasing. We have lots of influences in our lives swaying us to buy products and it can be hard to keep our cards and cash in our pocket.

Every year around the holidays the amount of purchases seems to climb. I tend to make some larger purchases while I hope to get a good deal. I rediscover the influence that the items for sale have on my life. It’s not something that we tend to notice, but we get attached to a certain lifestyle or particular item in our life.

A Christmas Budget Struggle

Every year I set a budget and make the attempt to stick to it for gifts. Since I started making the goal for myself, about 6 years, I have not once kept myself from overspending. There are just too many things for sale during the holiday season that seem to catch my eye. There are gifts available for my wife, our parents (my wife’s and mine) and my siblings. It can be hard not to buy things, especially when the items seem to be the “perfect gift”.

Though my bank account has a limit, my wallet seems to be bottomless. When making purchases I can just swipe and swipe and swipe without any obstacles in my way. This is especially relevant when the expenditures are charged to a credit card, instead of my debit card. I’m sure that you have had some of the same situations in your life. It can be hard not to spend money, especially when we can see that our bank account has a balance.

This is exactly what is intended for consumers and it can be hard not to fall into the trap. Items go “on sale” bringing people into stores giving them the sense that they are getting a deal on goods. It can be difficult to hold back from spending, but it can be the difference between hitting your budget or overspending. With the growing amount of online retailing in the United States, I have found it easier to stick to a budget. Once I get my little grubby paws on something tangible, it can be much harder to put it back on the shelf.

The Broken Budget

In order to hit my set goal for spending I have often asked myself a few questions:

Is my budget too small?
Should my budget be larger?
Do I need more self control?

For the most part I lean toward having a lack of self control. It is really hard to get gifts for our families and friends without going over budget. Even when setting a dollar limit, it’s hard to choose how much to spend the money. It doesn’t matter what I set my limit to be, I will usually go over. I’m sure that others are in the same boat, and it can be frustrating from the standpoint of our personal finances.

It’s not that I don’t think that the recipients of my gifts deserve less, but there are times where I can’t afford the gift that might be “perfect” for them. This is something that I have to accept when considering how much to spend on others and overall during the holiday season. I have not figured out exactly how much to spend during the holidays and probably won’t find a perfect number.

I have found that being generous with others shouldn’t (or can’t) be measured. I don’t think that we can look at two people and measure how generous they are and pick who is a better person. The amount of money that we spend during the holidays in not indicative of how much we love those around us. There is much more to our relationships with others than a price tag. We may not have to spend a lot on those around us, but I think there are times that warrant larger transactions. I tend to lean toward the idea of larger transactions being necessary to help someone fulfill their needs, not wants.

Final Thought

The main focus of this post is to be proactive and generous with others. We should try to put others before ourselves, though it is a hard task. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t care for ourselves (that is the wrong idea) but we aim our sights on helping others first. I have failed many times, and often, at putting others before myself. Trying again each year with a consistent record of falling short. Maintaining outward focus is hard, especially when we have wants of our own.