Now that my wife is in her third year of medical school I have a different perspective of her previous years of school. In general, life tends to feel hardest during the events that cause trouble. When we are in the sad or difficult times, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. These times tend to look different after we have conquered the challenges. That doesn’t mean that the challenges miraculously seem easy now, but the mountains don’t seem as tall anymore.
Moving to Ohio
My wife and I have never lived away from our families, so this was going to be a major life change. Our families were able to chip in to help us with moving, expenses and settling into our new home. I was in Alabama on my final trip for Track and Field while a majority of the moving work was completed. My family loaded nearly all of our stuff in their vehicles and on their trailer before I made it back. This was a huge help as I didn’t know when I would have returned from Gulf Shores.
My wife had worked with her parents to paint and clean the house the week before we were able to move in. This made it possible for everything to be prepped and ready when we were able to get all of our stuff in the house. This made it very easy for me, as I was not able to be there to help out.
I was able to get back sooner from Alabama that originally planned, which made it possible for me to help move everything into the house. Originally I wasn’t going to make it back which would have left our families to do all the work (which isn’t very considerate on my part). I drove from college to my parents house and helped them to move all of our stuff the next day. It was a lot of work moving, but it wasn’t terrible seeing as I didn’t do most of the work. Moving isn’t very fun and involves us seeing all of our things sprawled out for us. There was quite a few items that should have just been left behind and hopefully we won’t make the same mistake again.
Moving to Ohio also involved us changing out licenses, insurance, and other documents to rebrand us to our new home state. This was more of a hassle than a challenge. After a trip to the BMV and a few phone calls we had everything changed over.
Starting My First Job
After moving to Ohio I started my first job in Delta, OH. I worked as a site manager for a large construction project. Working at your first job is quite a change from the college schedule. I was used to class every other day and track practice. Getting into work life was different, but wasn’t super rough.
I started working from 7 am to 4 pm as the only representative on site from my company. I enjoyed this from job from start to finish. I enjoy machinery and construction and hope to get back into a similar line of work someday. Working at my first job was not as hard on me as it was my wife.
When I went to work my wife was at home working on nothing (school hadn’t started yet) for a while. After school had started she spent a lot of time at home studying alone. When I got home from work each day we tried to spend time together to help alleviate the loneliness.
Starting Class
Times were better when she started class. There was more time spent with other people outside of our home which cut down on some of her loneliness. Without going to class she would spend all day, everyday, in the solitary confinement of our house. This is the situation that she was in before class started and it needed to end. Class was hard on her at first (and every class) but it was an improvement over sitting at home alone. Her mental state seemed to improve after finally getting to go to class and see other people.
My wife noticed a huge decline in assistance from professors on class work in medical school when compared to undergrad. In medical school there is a lot more learning left to the student and less work involved for the professor (from my point of view). There is a lot more reading and other requirements for students with little guidance on where to look to find the information. Depending on the amount of assistance and guidance given by the professors, school can get very difficult.
Building Friendships
Moving to a new state where we didn’t know anybody was difficult. We left our families and our friends to embark on a new journey that gave us the opportunity and challenge of making friends. Soon after attending school my wife found out about a group called CMF where we could meet other students. Making friends was probably more difficult for me than my wife because she new a lot of the people in the group. Some of them were in her classes, which is where she met them. I knew nobody. It didn’t take long after attending the group the first time that I found a couple people in which I could relate.
Seeing as I am a working adult, I don’t have a lot of opportunities to make friends. At the time when my wife started school I didn’t know anyone outside of work. I’m not saying that coworkers can’t also be friends, but being the only worker for my company made it hard to have coworker friends. It wasn’t long after I started working there that others were hired.
There were a couple medical school guys that I related to from the CMF group that I still talk to and hang out with on occasion. We have shared interests and I appreciate their compliance and willingness to share their time with me when available. They are medical students after all, which doesn’t allow for a lot of free time.
Hunting Season
When I lived in Indiana I hunted often with my family, mostly my brothers. I greatly enjoy getting out into nature with the possibility of harvesting game. Being out in nature was calming for me growing up and helped me to escape the chaos of school and life.
When I moved to Ohio I became a resident in this state. This means that I am now a nonresident of Indiana, which increases the price of tags and licenses. I have been fortunate enough to have a wife that understands the level of priority hunting plays in my life. She understands fully and has allowed me to continue to hunt in Indiana, though the price tag is higher now. I have hunted in Ohio on one occasion with a medical student that was kind enough to invite me along with him and his father.
Hunting in Ohio would definitely be an easier drive (and cheaper), but hunting in Indiana allows me to partake with my family. Hunting in Indiana typically involves driving over Friday night nearly every week during hunting season, from October until January.
Settling into the Area
Moving to a new city provides the opportunity to find new parks, restaurants and stores. When we first moved to Ohio we had to start from scratch on all fronts. Until we moved here I can’t remember ever visiting Toledo. There’s not a lot happening around here that warranted me making the trip. I have made the trip from Indiana up to Dundee, MI quite a few times but don’t remember stopping in Toledo.
We spent the first few weeks trying to find good restaurants and places to go. It helped that we had a gap between moving and work starting for me. With the gap in time, about a month, we were able to make some improvements to our house and find things to do around the city.
This wasn’t something really stressful or challenging, but I feel was a necessity to feel more at home in a new city. With the help of the internet we have been able to find some really good restaurants. We have also made short trips to different metro parks in the area to walk or bike.
Final Thought
There were a lot of changes for us when we started our journey for medical school. I think that we handled the changes pretty well, though we weren’t perfect. It was awesome to have people help us move and others introduce themselves to us.
If you have had a similar experience I would be interested to hear how you handled the situation and what you learned. Please feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me through my Contact Information.